The Flaws of Being a Fruit Chia

There are many flaws about being a fruit. Despite its pro's, its con's are worse. Face it, no one wants to be friends with what it eats for lunch. Could you imagine being an apple? You'd get bruised so easily. What about being a plum? If you fell over, you wouldn't be able to get up again! You'd be considered a cannibal if you ever ate an apple and happened to be one. So you'd be considered gross. Who wants to be friends with a cannibal?? I don't!! What about Lupes? That's a bigger danger than any other. Eating his fruits and veggies would take on a whole different meaning!

I decided I had enough of this "Wow, my pet would be so happy to be an Orange Chia *hint hint*" thing. My friend, yes you know who you are, wants an Orange Chia. But she decided she wanted to remain anonymous, so I respected her wishes. We will just change her name. We will reffer to her as, "Stan". No, that is not a male name, stop giggling. Stop laughing. Fine, we shall reffer to her as a different name you cannot laugh at. Promise? Okay, well fine, "Bob". Why are you laughing? Stop it! Finally, okay now. I am going to interview an Orange Chia today so my friend Bob- stop laughing! Curse you! So my friend....my friend... my friend Bob will see why these pets are so miserable.

I have arrived at his house. It is a beautiful thing. The house, not the Chia. It's in Neopia Central, being probably the most crowded place to live it is still the prettiest house on the block. The Orange Chia I am about to interview has been an Orange Chia long enough to know what it's like, and why it's bad. His name is Crimson Cloud and he is one of my friends pets. But before I begin, I must make a little note to Bob, you should get what you want but sometimes what you want isn't what they want, so get what you want but if it's not what they want then maybe you shouldn't want it, understand?

Alex: Hello there! I'm Alex! How are you today, Crimson Cloud?

Crimson Cloud: Just peachy, or- orangy! Hahahaha. Why aren't you laughing?

A: Oh, hahahaha.

CC: Yes well, you can call me Crimson.

A: Okay, Crimson! When did you become an Orange Chia?

CC: On August 18, and that's long enough to know that being an Orange Chia isn't as good as it sounds.

A: How'd you become an Orange Chia?

CC: Lab ray mostly.

A: Oh, sounds fun! Getting to be so many colours in such a short period of time.

CC: Alex, have you ever been shot at by a huge lightning bolt?

A: Well, er. Uh, no...

CC: Don't.

A: Well, tell me the most annoying thing about being an Orange Chia.

CC: I'm peeling.

A: Maybe you should buy some suntan lotion! ^.^

CC: No. I mean, I have a peel, and when it gets hot it starts to er- peel.

A: Oh, so your peel is...peeling. Got it. Well that would be annoying!!

CC: Yeah, I can't really go anywhere near a Fire pet. It burns.

A: Oh ouch, I think we all have that problem. Hahahaha.

CC: Uh.

A: *Ahem* Er, nevermind. Anyways. Tell me more about the con's.

CC: Well, It's hard to walk. Sometimes I trip and fall. And it's really hard to get up.

A: Awwww.

CC: Eh, that's the least of my worries. When I go to Neoschool, I can't go into the cafeteria without being mauled.

A: Er, maybe you should tell someone about that.

CC: I did.

A: And?

CC: Well, they started to foam at the mouth, so I just left.

A: What? That's very irresponsible.

CC: You got a little drool there, Alex.

A: Oh. Sorry.

CC: But there are some good things!

A: Like what?

CC: Well, for instance, I make other Neopets happy.

A: How's that?

CC: Well, I mean it doesn't really make me all that happy.

A: What is it?

CC: It does kinda make me happy. I suppose.

A: WHAT IS IT??

CC: Oh, right. I give off this nice citrus smell. It's really good when the Tyrannian pets come to Neoschool. Sometimes they bring their Dung Petpets.

A: Well, why wouldn't that make you happy too?

CC: I don't have a nose. Alex? It's not polite to stare.

A: Terribly sorry. Anyhow, what about petpets, do you have one?

CC: Yes, I have a black Acko. My owner didn't think about how weird a black Acko would look next to an Orange Chia.

A: Oh yes. You could get it painted though. Do you two get along?

CC: No, he nibbles my arms.

A: Oh, er. Well, um. So do you have high BD stats?

CC: Yes, very high. I could break this Neohome in half in about...three seconds. Alex? Why are you under my sofa?

A: Ahhh! DON'T BREAK THE HOUSE!

CC: I was kidding.

A: Oh, well.

CC: Anyways, like I was saying. My BD stats are very high. And my owner has been reading to me, so I'm smart too.

A: Well that makes you the all around best Neopet an owner can have!

CC: Stop being so nice, I told you I wouldn't break the house.

A: Heh, that's not the reason why I'm nice. Heh *twitch*. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

CC: Yes, I have three brothers. Crimson, Crimson Cola, and Tabasco Sauce.

A: Do you get along?

CC: No, *sniffle* they...they...they use me as the cheese in Cheeseroller!!

A: Aw, that's awful! Well, how about your owner, is she nice?

CC: Yes, she's the nicest owner a pet could have! :)

A: Awww. What's your favorite Villain in Neopia?

CC: I'd have to say Eliv Thade. He was super duper smart!

A: Yes, he was. Do you like puzzles like he does?

CC: Yes, I do enjoy a good puzzle now and again.

A: Well, one more question before I must leave, what's your favorite faerie?

CC: I love Jhudora. She's evil and makes you do quests!!

A: Yes, she is quite evil. Thank you for your time! Bye!

CC: Bye!

So you see why being a fruit Chia isn't all it's cracked up to be. You peel, you are used as cheese, you are very tasty to lupes! So next time you go "Wow, I would really kill for an Asparagus Chia," think about the con's of the situation!!