*CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG*

As the schoolbell rang, the students shuffled slowly into class. "Aye, good morning. Me name is Captain Roundhoof, and I'll be learnin' ye the fine art of linguistication this year... for less-sophisticate types, that means grammar, spelling, and other such verbiosities. Now, before dispensing with the proceedications, methinks it wise to assess how learned a bunch ye are. Notebooks out, time fer a QUIZ!"

A chorus of moans filled the room. "Arrr!" a young Bruce named Simon growled, "A quiz on me first day! I KNEW I shoulda taken maths instead!"

"Belay yer grumblin' an' carryin' on!" Captain Roundhoof declared. Glaring slyly at Simon, the captain snarled, "Ahoy, since ye can't be botherin' to pay attention in me class, how about comin' up here and showin' us just how intelligated ye are, lad?"

Caption Goes Here

Nervous and embarrassed, Simon trudged to the head of the class. "Methinks we'll be startin' with an easy one," the captain began, a wicked grin beaming across his face. "The word is 'anchor'... would ye like me to examplify by usin' it in a sentence?" Roundhoof asked, to which Simon nodded. "Let's see... 'Land ho, preparicate to be lowerin' the anchor.'"

"Anchor, right..." Simon replied, voice quivering. "Anchor, A-N-C-H-O-R... anchor."

"Nice one, lad. Let's try another... how about 'keelhaul'? As in, 'I'll keelhaul any sprog who dares to even think of underminin' me authorification in this 'ere classroom!" Convinced that his students were now good and scared, Roundhoof let out a cackling laugh.

"K-k-keelhaul?" young Simon asked, barely capable of withstanding the pressure. "K-E-A... wait a sec--K-E-E, right? Yes, that's it... K-E-E... L... H-A-U-L?" Simon asked, not sure if he'd answered correctly.

"Are ye sure?" Captain Roundhoof asked.

Simon closed his eyes and concentrated. Was it H-A-L-L or H-A-U-L? "Uh... erm, yes?" Simon asked, opening one eye to see the captain's reaction.

"Ahoy, that's the one!" the captain joyously proclaimed, "Well done... you may be adjournicatin' to yer seat now."

Making the long walk back to his desk, Simon felt as though he were floating on air....