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Neopedia : Needs Art - Uzzaro

As Neopia's best safecracker, Uzarro has been blamed for a number of heists during the past few years. But despite her great fame (or, rather, infamy), the authorities have never been able to put Uzarro away. Her secret? For starters, her attention to detail is unmatched; in all her years, she's never left so much as a pawprint at the scene of a crime. Also, no two Uzarro jobs are the same. She might go three months without working, then pull a string of "smash and grabs" along the coast, before disappearing into thin air again, only to reemerge a year later and clean out the day's take at the Poogle Races.


"Here you go, ma'am. I think it's all filled out," the Usul said, while handing the forms back to the teller.

"Hmm," the teller replied as she looked over Uzarro's paperwork. "Address... occupation... it looks like that's everything. I see you'd like to start out as a Junior Saver, is that correct?"

"Yes, ma'am." Uzarro replied. "I guess I'll go ahead and deposit 50 NP. You know, just to get started."

"Very well, Miss... Chalmers." the teller said, taking Uzarro's NP and deposit slip. And so, just like that, the most notorious thief on the planet had opened an account with her next target, The National Neopian Bank...

...For the past six months, Uzarro had been patiently "casing" the National Neopian. She'd drop in two or three times a week; sometimes depositing the profits from her store, or picking up stamps. Other times, she'd stop by and make a withdrawal, telling the clerk some story about "needing a holiday," making small talk, asking if Krawk Island was nice this time of year. The whole time, in the back of her mind, she was carefully thinking up ways to rob the place.


On a cold Friday morning, eleven months to the day after she'd opened her account, Uzarro waited in the bushes for Mr. McKougra, the bank president, to arrive. As he opened his jacket and took out a set of keys, Uzaroo jumped from the bushes and karate-chopped McKougra between the shoulder blades, dropping him to the ground like a ten-pound sack of Sardplants. Once she'd drug him into the bushes, Uzarro tied McKougra up and put a gag in his mouth, then snatched the keys from his paw. Looking at her watch, Uzarro calculated that she had around twenty five minutes before the other employees started showing up.

After making sure that no one had seen her, Uzarro turned off the alarm and entered the bank through a side door. Running through McKougra's office and out past the teller windows, Uzarro headed straight for the safe. When she reached the safe, Uzarro pulled an armful of Tiki Bombs from her backpack, and began taping them to the safe door. BLAST!!! Uzarro ducked to keep from being hit by the safe door, which flew off the hinges.

Sprinting into the safe at full speed, Uzarro was heartbroken to see that the bank's money was inside another, smaller vault. It was a Texor 480v, a safe that, supposedly, no one had ever been able to crack by hand. Oh sure, if you stuffed it full of dynamite, you might be able to blow it open... but since Uzarro was fresh out of Tiki Bombs, that wasn't exactly an option. She crouched next to the safe, listening intently for the tumblers to fall into place, but time was quickly slipping away.

Five minutes passed, then ten... fifteen minutes later, with the sound of sirens growing louder by the second, the safe door finally gave way. Once her backpack was full, Uzarro made a run for the Ladies' Room. Entering the next to last stall, Uzarro lifted a tile from the bathroom floor, and made her getaway through an underground tunnel, which she had been working on, three times a week, for eleven months...


By the time the authorities discovered Uzarro's underground tunnel, she was long gone. Once again, they'd been left with virtually no clues. Mr. McKougra had been attacked from behind, so there was no way that he could give the Chia Cops a description. As far as evidence, the only thing left from the robbery were a few worthless Tiki Bomb fragments. In fact, just so no one would suspect anything, "Miss Chalmers" continued her weekly visits to the bank, 'til one day she supposedly mentioned something about the possibility of getting a bungalow on Mystery Island. She was never heard from again....