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Stupendous Slorgs

by seismicfury


     There has always been some debate about which petpet is the cutest or the best. More often than not, there is always a very loud and passionate following for the beloved weewoo—and who could blame them? But I’m not here to speak of the weewoo, but of the Slorg whose fanbase is much smaller compared to some of the more popular petpets. In this article I will outline some of the reasons Slorgs are amazing creatures, and perhaps persuade those with doubts about the Slorg why you should give them a chance. It is my sincere hope that with time and facts you will come to love and appreciate the Slorg.

     Firstly, it’s long been debated that Slorgs are annoying pests: farmers and gardeners claim they ruin their crops and their flowers. The world has always had to deal with pests of all sorts, so it’s rather unfair to lay the blame solely on the Slorg. Several studies show that different variations of the Slorg have different dietary needs. Slorgs are not the only species with varying dietary needs and it’s well known that Miamice, Draconacks, and Crokabeks (to name a few) have also caused some major problems for Meri Acres Farms in the not-so-distant past. One of the bigger and more problematic issues that growers have is that Slorg slime does harm to their plants. After some digging and a couple interviews with some well-known botanists and chemists we know for sure that Slorg slime does not in fact harm plants, but does the complete opposite. Slorg slime actually helps the soil!

     A Slorg specialist pointed out that depending on the geography, Slorgs eat a lot of smaller pests that do real harm to gardens and crops. Not only are these cute little guys helping the soil, but they are protecting your plants from real pests! A side note worth mentioning is many bird petpets, such as Crokabeks and Pawkeets, do not like Slorgs; they are a wonderful and safe bird petpet deterrent.

     Secondly despite their weird, derpy (and cute) faces Slorgs are actually incredibly intelligent. The fact of the matter is some petpets are just more clever than others. It’s long been said that Slorgs not only ruin the environment, but they are also too dimwitted to be a good petpet. That’s just not the case. You’d be surprised how many studies have been done on the Slorg; it’s been overwhelming going through all the data! Tests have shown that Slorgs have strong problem solving skills, are able to understand complex commands and speech. Of course some training is involved where commands are concerned. Another interesting note is that for the most part, and across most variations, Slorgs have a calm personality and are mostly non-aggressive. While studies on these interesting petpets are ongoing, you can probably teach a Slorg to do a lot of things (or they can teach you some things).

     Although the Yurble Farmer disagrees with these statements (he’s too set in his ways to see how beneficial these small creatures are to his crops), the Slorg is able to communicate well within groups to build strong teamwork. Additional research and observation is needed to see if the colony of Slorg has a designated leader, or if they all work together to complete a shared goal. While in a large group, the slime from the front of the colony helps to build and allow the other weaker, younger, or older Slorgs to move through harsh terrain quickly. They really do look after their own—even if they all do not look or act the same!

     Speaking of smart Slorgs, no other petpet in the world of Neopia is as charitable as the Slorg. Take the Shop of Offers for example—the Rich Slorg who resides there will give any Neopian either 50 or 100 Neopoints for that day. He is always so ecstatic to see a familiar face, and he encourages pets, petpets, along with their owners to come back to visit soon. It is unknown how this Slorg became so wealthy, but rumor has it he finds and collects the Neopoints that the Ghosts dropped (stolen from unsuspecting Neopians) at the Money Tree.

     Finally there are all sorts of Slorgs, and they live everywhere! There are currently fifty-five variations of Slorgs with more being discovered each year, and all living in different environments all across Neopia! Most interesting of all is that no Slorg is the same—even if they are of similar variation—and all come with different personalities. Some interesting variations to note are the Faerie, Darigan, Tyrannian, and Elderly Slorgs. As I have previously stated, Slorgs are generally calm and happy creatures, but some people who have observed the aforementioned variations have pointed out that they aren’t just calm. Faerie Slorgs in particular are known to be very energetic, but considering that they have the ability to fly, that isn’t so surprising. Tyrannian and Darigan Slorgs are known to be slightly more aggressive than other variations, with the Halloween Slorg being the most aggressive out of the entire species (watch out for those fangs). It will be five years in November that the elderly Slorg was discovered. We didn’t know Slorgs could become old, but it has not been a detriment to the species in any way since the discovery. They are the most calm and happy Slorgs out the entire species to top it off!

     If you’re more of a food fanatic then maybe the food based Slorgs are more your style. Not every petpet is brave enough to face the manic-eyed Kookith who helps operate the lab, but those who do have the wonderful opportunity to transform into a Slorg! The Salad Slorg sits happily on a bed of romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, and slivered carrots. Their slime allows these vegetables to stick as the Slorg moves, but for convenience sake, a silver platter hoists this Slorg up, as to not attach any other debris. This petpet is too cute for even the Turmaculus to eat! Then there is the chocolate Slorg. Who doesn’t enjoy that? This particular Slorg is too sweet to consume, however they can be the perfect companion for any Chocolate or Candy pet. Their bodies are composed of milk chocolate and dark chocolate spots, white chocolate eyes, and cherry ganache pupils. These particular Slorgs do better in cooler climates—it would be a shame if they melt in the heat of Mystery Island or the Lost Desert (although I would like to get lost in a dessert)!

     It is my hope that after having gained more information on these adorable creatures, that you have opened your mind, and maybe even your heart (enough to adopt one even), to the stupendous Slorg. They are incredibly loyal, and not only will they be forever grateful to you and your pets kindness, but they will love you unconditionally. With so many color variants, there will certainly be a Slorg for every type of pet out there and you’ll definitely find a Slorg that’s just for you. As much as we love the Weewoo—the Slorg deserves a chance to shine!


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