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The Pie Awards: Your Guide to the Best Pies

by katehoughtonbeckett


There is something special about a pie, from the first bite of flaky crust to the delicious warmth of the filling inside. Pies are simply the best and, as a pie aficionado, I decided it was time that someone compiled a list of the greatest pies to be found in all the lands. Now, as someone who enjoys a tasty pie, who better than me?

The Perfect Match Pie Award:

This award is for the pie that brings together two great items to create an even better pie. Bonus points go to pies that bring two unexpected types of food together. Anyone can put together Pineapple and Broccoli and get a great pie, but it takes some masterful skills in the kitchen to create something magic. That magic was found in the Chips and Curry Pie from Neovian Pastries. Chips are delicious. Curry is delicious. Chips and Curry pie is, believe it or not, also delicious. Run and try it now!

Honourable Mention: Hot Dog and Beans Pie Hot Dog and Beans are a rather strange combination, but somehow, it works, most of the time. Sometimes you get a little bit of a strange feeling in your stomach after eating this pie, but that’s fine, right? There’s nothing wrong? TELL ME IT IS OKAY!

The Tasty Pie Award:

This award is for the pie that is simply the tastiest pie. It may not be a difficult category to get your head around, but it was certainly difficult to determine. Many of the pies tasted delicious, but only one was the tastiest. I am pleased to announce that Tasty Pie is the winner. No, this pie was not just chosen for it’s name. It is, however, the tastiest pie. Don’t believe me? You’ll simply have to try all the pies to be sure.

Honourable Mention: Meatless Pie. To be fair, we don’t know for sure that this pie is tasty, but we do know that someone ate all the filling. They wouldn’t have done that if it didn’t taste nice, right?

The Eat Dirt Pie Award:

This award is for the pie that is pretty foul and the sort of pie that you would send your enemies, so that they could eat dirt. Dirt Pie is the winner because it is the dirtiest pie to be found. It may not taste great, but it is, quite simply, the dirtiest.

Honourable Mention: Symol Dirt Pie. It’s not quite as dirty as Dirt Pie, but with a little more Symol than the former. With less dirt, it simply had to come in second, even if it tasted delicious (which it did not).

The Apple Pie Award:

Apple pie is a classic, and a delicious one at that. This was a difficult category, given that it is such a classic and the contenders were all strong. People take their pies very seriously, so I had to be careful not to offend anyone. After much consideration, Apple Lantern Pie is the winner. This pie has that little bit of spice that sets it apart from the competition. As a seasonal treat, it is also something that is a holiday highlight for many. Maybe it is that I can’t eat it every day of the year, but there is something special about this pie. I know this is a controversial decision, but I had to go with my stomach.

Honourable Mention: Baked Apple Pi Pie. This pie was nice, but the 3.14 litres of filling was perhaps a little much for the, rather small, pie. In fact, it was overflowing.

The Mince Pie Award:

Mince pies are delicious and look amazing, which is why they get their own category in the Y18 Pie Awards. Because of this, it was a difficult decision to make. Ultimately, I am pleased to announce that Triple Chocolate Mince Pie is the winner. This pie has chocolate on chocolate on chocolate. The Triple Chocolate Mince Pie has melted chocolate, chocolate chunks AND chocolate flakes, so if you don’t particularly like chocolate, you might want to stay away.

Honourable Mention: Tigersquash Mince Pie. The Tigersquash jam in this pie has the fresh taste of the fruit, and all the spices that you would expect, but the real joy in this pie was the crumbly pastry. This pastry sets it apart from the other pies in the category, as they all had a crispier pastry.

The Not-Quite-a-Pie-But-Close-Enough Award:

Pies are great, but the trouble is that it is sometimes hard to know whether something is a pie, a tart, a quiche or something else entirely. Trust me, I’m a pie expert. Tarts are pretty close to pies, and some could be pies if they were in a different dish, so I feel that I am also qualified to consider dishes that aren’t quite pies but close enough. The winner, which was certainly unexpected, is Fresh Borovan and Asparagus Tart is the winner. I got to try this pie when it was as fresh as it could be, and it was delicious. I have heard that it isn’t so good when it isn’t fresh, so keep that in mind. Fresh is best!

Honourable Mention: Custard Quiche. This is an unusual dish, unless you have tried it before. If you’ve tried it, you love it. I’m yet to hear of someone who does not like a delicious piece of a custard quiche, so there was no doubt that this dish would be one of the top contenders at the pie awards.

    After a day of pie (and tart, quiche, soufflé and pasty) eating, I can eat nothing else, which isn’t surprising as I only have one stomach (I’m not a kau). It also means that the Y18 Pie Awards are over. Next year will undoubtedly be bigger, and hopefully better, as some improve and fine tune their recipes for different pies. Next year, I’d like to see a Fantastic Fly Pie that better strikes a balance between buzzing and non-buzzing flies, a Gooey Krelubery Pie that is less sticky and more gooey, and a Pumpkin Pie with a less crooked smile. Until next year, you can get your pie fix at my gallery, Pie in the Sky, and make predictions for next year’s competition.

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