The Origins of Achyfi
Achyfi Enterprises manufactures extremely nasty soft drinks, yet they somehow
manage to maintain market dominance. - Neopets Stock Market Achyfi Enterprises
Dirt, Prawns, Carrots, what do all of these foods have in common? They are
all items that were never meant to be made into a soft drink. Do you know what
else they have in common? They all are flavors of the bizarre and often disgusting
line of beverages known as Achyfi. Today, I, Plasmashadow expose the secrets
behind some of the oddest beverages on Neopia. However, first a little background
information on the Neopian beverage industry is needed.
When it comes time to quench your Neopet's thirst, there are many options available
to you. Essentially, you have seven choices: juice, coffee, slushies, smoothies,
water, milk, or carbonated beverages. The Ye Olde Coffee Company dominates the
entire coffee market, the local Smoothie Shop is the sole producer of smoothies,
Circle N, which runs the Slushie Shop in Happy Valley, is the only source of
the icy treats, and water and milk are not widely consumed. In the whole beverage
industry, there is only one type of beverage that there is opportunity for competition,
the carbonated beverage industry.
There are many different carbonated soft drinks on the market: the Extra Large
Fizzy Drink, Ixi Drinks, Dandelion and Burdock drinks, and there are others.
Nevertheless, when one thinks of a soda, there are only two brands that come
to mind, Neocola and Achyfi.
Neocola comes in nine different varieties, with diet versions, flavors such
as apple, raspberry, and cherry, and different sizes. Anyone who's ever drank
Neocola can tell you, it's good stuff. But, as you know, it's competing with
all sorts of uncarbonated beverages. A few years ago, The Neocola Corporation
was in dire straits. It was losing market share as Neopians decided to drink
more slushies, smoothies, and coffee drinks. With easier accessibility to all
sorts of flavors in other drinks, Neopians were overlooking Neocola with its
selection of only five different flavors. The Neocola Corporation needed to
come up with a plan or else go bankrupt. They started off trying to create new
flavors. They soon realized that only a few flavors tasted good with Neocola.
Finally, it dawned on them; they didn't need to taste good, they only needed
to be available. It was then that Achyfi was created.
The Neocola Corporation created a new company called Achyfi Enterprises. Instead
of selling quality sodas, Achyfi Enterprises had only two goals: create a large
variety of flavors, and stay in the public eye. Fortunately, for Achyfi Enterprises,
these two goals could be accomplished at the same time. Every time a new flavor
of Achyfi was created, the release was announced on the news page. On the 19th
day of Hiding Y8, there was even a day dedicated to all sorts of Achyfi merchandise.
Achyfi Enterprises even created an Achyfi avatar. However, Achyfi tasted awful.
There is good reason for Achyfi's unappealing taste. While taste testing and
quality assurance was used for creating Neocola, Achyfi focused on creating
as many different varieties as possible. Flavors such as Dirt, Chocolate and
Asparagus, Strawberry and Lime, Prawn Cocktail, and Blueberry and Chokato were
created. Where as to make a quality product like Neocola might have cost the
Neocola Corporation 50 Neopoints per can, Achyfi, an inferior product, only
cost Achyfi Enterprises 5 Neopoints per can to produce. Since there was never
an expectation of great demand for Achyfi, it was made as cheap as possible.
Achyfi and Neocola were sold at approximately the same price, insuring that
for every can of Achyfi sold, it would cover the cost of many more cans of Achyfi.
With Achyfi being produced, the Neocola Corporation was beginning to execute
its hidden agenda. The Neocola Corporation put up advertisements, paid Neopians
to drink Achyfi in public, offered incentives for shops to stock it, and made
wild claims about its root extracts increasing your energy, all in the bid to
keep Achyfi on everyone's mind. When Neopians started trying Achyfi for the
first time, they realized just how disgusting it was, and the Neocola Corporation
anticipated this. While Achyfi soon stopped selling well, everyone still talked
about it, which meant carbonated drinks were on the tips of everyone's tongues.
With all sorts of rumors, stories, and interest with Achyfi, Achyfi Enterprises
started the next phase in its insidious plan. Apple Achyfi and Raspberry Achyfi
were released to a public accustomed to Achyfi's awful taste. These two flavors
were very important because, there already existed Apple Neocola and Raspberry
Neocola. The Neocola Corporation created a new ad campaign, advertising these
two particular flavors of Neocola specifically. Achyfi Enterprises created an
ad campaign for Apple and Raspberry Achyfi simultaneously. Almost overnight
sales of Raspberry and Apple Neocola doubled. Everyone suddenly remembered that
a quality carbonated beverage existed, Neocola. Soon all different varieties
of Neocola were selling at more than triple the previous amount. The Neocola
Corporation had averted bankruptcy! They increased their market share. Coffee,
slushie, and smoothie sales went down while Neocola sales went up. The Neocola
Corporation now had a new method of increasing sales. As long as they continued
to make sure Achyfi was properly hyped and that new flavors were released periodically,
carbonated beverages would never lose market share again.
The Neocola Corporation's plan was meant to be top secret. If people knew that
the owners of the Neocola Corporation were the same people who brought the world
Achyfi, their plan would fail. Nobody could know that they were connected; it
had to look like aggressive competition at times. Neocola could not risk having
its name identified with Achyfi or consumers would lose confidence in the product
or feel tricked and manipulated.
You may wonder why I chose to divulge the Neocola Corporation's biggest trade
secret. As a representative of the Ye Olde Coffee Company, it is my job to make
sure you choose the best beverage out there. Achyfi Enterprises and the Neocola
Corporation are trying to trick you. Don't fall for it. Show them that Neopians
will not stand for it; drink coffee instead.
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"Great work, crew!" a white Blumaroo said, slumped
in his Captain's chair. "Now we just need to figure out how we got into this
mess in the first place. Commander Talinia?"