Invisible Paint Brushes rock Circulation: 126,511,783 Issue: 256 | 8th day of Gathering, Y8
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

I'm a Little Teapot...


by 8311050

--------

Isn't that the song I sang in preschool?

You can bet it is!

Often times, old and valuable customs are replaced with newer fads. One such example is Tea. Tea has been produced for hundreds of years in Neopia, and the art of tea serving has been passed down from generation to generation of well-born Neopets. This sacred plant has affected our everyday ways of drinking, so why? Why? WHY is it being replaced with bitter coffee, sickly sports drinks, and plain, old borovan? (Sorry TNT, but borovan is so plain.)

This article will defend the many comforts of our precious historical drink.

Tea!? What's "Tea"???

Tea is a green abundant plant on which leaves are plucked and naturally processed to create tea leaves. Then, these dry leaves are imported to all parts of Neopia, where (usually) they are manipulated to create all sorts of drinks and delicacies. Today, many Neopians do not realize that tea brings an importance to the world.

Tea is important. (No rude comments please.)

Think about the Snow Faerie, Taelia. (Huh? what does she have to do with tea?) Hah! Did you know that she is a big fan of tea? Although blue and green don't go very well together, she is a very heavy tea drinker. What else could she drink all day in that igloo of hers?

As you may know, Taelia used to fall asleep when Neopians came to seek her quests. This of course, as you can probably imagine, is quite a problem. Who would dare wake a sleeping faerie, especially a snow faerie? Taelia wasn't very happy about her frequent naps either. She wasn't getting anything done! Even her sister, the air faerie didn't have this kind of trouble!

Taelia decided to go to her friend, the water faerie, who operated the healing springs. After a week of travel, she reached Faerieland, where her friend told her to drink tea.

"Dear friend, I sense you are not well. Tea will help you. For it is a sacred drink and is sure to heal any illness."

"How do you know tha-"

"I am a water sprite. I can see the pure reflections of everyone."

Taelia thanked the water sprite profusely and returned to her snowy lair. Surprisingly, Taelia found the tea delicious and it lifted her spirits instantly. She was more cheerful than usual and Neopets soon came from all over Neopia to complete her quests for the ample award she often granted.

But occasionally Taelia runs out of her expensive tea and her mood begins to worsen. It would be best to visit her in May, when she purchases her annual tea, to avoid any ill consequences that might come your way when offending her.

And how is this going to help me?

Well, I have already told you about tea and how it can cure illnesses. Tea is also available in a wide variety of products, which I shall explain later. And you may want to know that tea was very popular with Jhuidah. (You may have visited her well known cooking pot.) How else would she have enough energy to stand up all day and explain the marvels of the cooking pot if she didn't drink tea?

Tea also quenches thirst and it helps revive the "spirit." A daily cup of tea may just help you from getting Achy Head and Grumbles.

My Uncle Nutberry was a very font tea drinker; in fact, he collected tea. From Peppermint Tea to Earl Grey, he had 'em all carefully displayed in his royal oak cabinet. Tea collecting is hard, especially when you have no money, which leads to this next topic for discussion.

AIE!!! I have no money!!

Clam up! (Be quiet and calm down rolled into one.) Bankruptcy shouldn't be the reason to give up tea. It could actually cost as low as 200np a day. A Cup of Tea for instance costs only about 150np, Breakfast Tea costs 200np, but other kinds of tea, such as Spicy Herbal Tea can cost up to 4,000np! Surely you must earn more than 500np a day.

Although cheaper substitutes such as rancid dung coffee, apple juice, and of course borovan still sadly exist, tea is still the best and healthiest choice, even if your money is running low. Better to be healthy and poor than rich and sick!

There is no way you can make me drink that icky green stuff!

Isn't there anything else on the menu?

Uh-oh. When it comes to this, there are only a few options. As I said before, there are a wide variety of products derived from tea. Some are more appetizing than others.

One of my absolute favorites (I like most of them) is Tea Biscuits. Yum-um! Soft and tasty, these are good to go for snacks, lunches, parties, and more!

Another favorite of mine is Tea Jelly. It may sound revolting, but Tea Jelly is sure to taste better than plain old strawberry or lime. Its pretty shape is very attractive and it also has tea leaf bits inside! Priced at only 22,000np, you've got yourself an incredible deal!

Tired of your old boring everyday waffles? Then try Tea Waffles! Delicious! Two waffles topped with some yellow stuff then sprinkled with green tea leaves are sure to make a wonderful start to your day. (Approximate price: only 17,100np.)

If you or your Neopets don't like plain regular tea, you're sure to go kooky over Steaming Green Tea. Green Tea is known for its fine, unique taste. It'll make your taste buds go completely crazy. Although a little expensive, Green Tea is very rare, so valued at 95,000np there's nothing wrong with spending a little more Neopoints than usual? Right?

I just start dreaming whenever I think of this scrumptious dessert. Green Tea Custard is just like ice cream, except it's soothing and full of antioxidants. Not to mention, it has a cool plastic building thingamajig in the middle and it's big enough to share with a friend! That's a win win win win situation! (And for only 50,000np)

Looking at your options, you've probably decided to take one route or the other, so I'm sure I won't have to explain further. Let's move on.

Eeek! Sometimes I wish I could pour boiling tea on my little brother! He's just so annoying!

We all get angry sometimes, but I'm not sure that you could receive permission to do that. Try maybe drinking the tea instead. (After all, pouring it on your brother is a waste) It might calm you down; after all, it helps Taelia and Jhuidah a lot.

But if you're an Usul, you don't have to worry any more. A miraculous creation has come your way. The phenomenal and astounding Usul Tea Whip is just the thing for you! With a pretty teapot at the end filled with hot tea, you better watch out (especially you younger brothers out there) because you never know when your sister is going to come after you... (of course, you could just stop being annoying).

Usul Tea Whip Description: Do you like tea? Well, you probably won't like this tea because it is really hot. Watch out for any Usul with this weapon.

Yes, I would take note of the advice. Wouldn't you?

The Utter Vagueness of Tea

As you know, everything has an explanation. Well, here are some things that are badly in need of one.

Pure Ice Tea. That is just downright weird (o.0)... I don't really get that. Pure Ice Tea is illogical because ice is basically water and tea is tea. (Let's please not get into that science stuff) Ok, I know that there's water in tea, but Pure Ice Tea simply doesn't make sense.

Also another odd thing is that in the Ye Old Coffee Shop they sell Tea. Maybe there should be a separate place for tea or maybe it could be called Ye Old Snack Shoppe?

These are just things that Uncle Nutberry asked me when I went to his house yesterday. He's been taking classes in philosophy and so now he asks me all these questions when I go to his house. My Uncle is very nice, but sometimes I think he is a tad too nosy and curious. (No offense.)

Conclusion: Tea is a universally accepted drink that everyone should have the chance to enjoy. Whether it's Earl Grey, Blairnut, Chamomile or Lemon Meringue, we all have our own unique and special tastes. That's not the end. Tea can be implemented in foods also. From Jelly to Custard to Waffles, you can count on the manufactures of Neopia to include tea in everything, even weapons! Remember how the water sprite knew that tea would help Taelia? The water sprite is a very knowledgeable person because whenever I take my Neopets to the healing springs she knows the right thing to do.

And now you are asking how I know all this? Actually it's because of my Uncle Nutberry. He's always asking for some tea leaves to examine. (Please don't ask me why.)

Thank you for reading this and remember what Uncle Nutberry always says when he has his afternoon tea, "If you are cold, tea will warm you. If you are too heated, it will cool you. If you are depressed, it will cheer you. If you are excited, it will calm you."

All I can say is that he's confusing me. But if you look deeply, you may find the moral to this quote which I shall leave as a memory of this article and something for you to ponder while you drink your tea.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

The Misadventures of a Pink Lenny
"FANS"

Drawn by spotthechelsey

by immortalmina


---------

Unconventional Neopia
Welcome to Neopia Central!

by shelleyruff

---------

One Fish, Two Fish
Heeey YOU!!

by fish_puddle

---------

Finny's Corner
Those Commentator Action Figures know a lot of nifty details.

by divisible_by_zero



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.