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Jobs You Should Never Do


by pikachu_tamer

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Having a hard time trying to make ends meet for your Neopets and to pay the utility bills of your Neohome? Always rushing to the Faerieland Employment Agency with no job coupon in your hand and seeing other Neopets grab all the best jobs available? Trying to look at the classifieds of the Neopian Times trying to find a suitable job to support your Neopets with no luck? Well, here are some jobs you should NOT try to find simply because it will be pointless in the end.

First, you should not try to apply to be a historian for the Altadorian Archives. Why, you ask? It is not really that fascinating to see all those old books about who-knows-what covered in dust and in a terrible mess. Seriously, do you really think that Lenny will bother to do the cleaning up? You will probably only be hired to clean those books. There is virtually no entertainment there, now that the underground dancing club has been shut down. Simply put, if you become a historian, there is no future in it.

Secondly, you would not want to apply for the position of Qasalan Archaeologist. Sure, the name sounds nice. But have you ever wondered that this job requires you to be in the desert almost all the time? You could spend the whole of your life in the Lost Desert yet you couldn’t even find even one single tomb containing all those valuable treasures. Besides, it’s not fun to be dying of thirst on a sunny day (since when did it ever rain there anyway?), digging your pathetic spade into the ground. In a nutshell, if you become an archaeologist, your career could be in ruins.

Thirdly, don’t try ever applying to be a carpenter in the Kiko Lake Carpenters. You better shelve that idea. The pay isn’t that high. How could carpenters ever earn that much trying to build something out of corals and shells? Even though Kiko Lake is a nice place to be in, the word Kiko explicitly means that it is strictly for Kikos only (although visitors can be human or other Neopets species). Thus, you would be out of place there. Don’t even try seeing that advertisement because the first words on the requirement are ‘Must be a Kiko.’

Unless you are that desperate with all your Neopets dying of hunger and the soup faerie gets tired of seeing you begging everyday without fail, then you might consider to try to be a plumber and help Matt the Wocky. However, this is highly NOT advisable because you certainly wouldn’t want nasty and smelly sewage from all over Neopia on your body, don’t you? You will be inexperienced from the start and unless you have a flair for repairing broken pipes, be prepared to see your water bills rising through the roof as you will spend a lot of time showering to get rid of the filth. Don’t believe me? Just ask Matt .No prizes for guessing his favorite hobby. Also, there are hundreds, if not thousands of sewage systems waiting to be repaired. You would be physically drained if you do become a sewage system maintenance worker.

If you have no musical talent, don’t ever apply to be a guitarist for na upcoming band at the Tyrannian Concert Hall. Hardly anyone goes to watch a band nowadays even if you give some cheap freebies to the visitors like t-shirts. These products hardly sell in the Neopian market, not to say tickets to view your band in action. Unless you got a nifty new avatar to go along with it then would people pay out the Neopoints to view it even if is a performance that drive viewers to extreme boredom. Also, your band would have to perform on certain fixed days of the month. That means your hopes of having a month-long retreat with your Neopets in Mystery Island to enjoy some sunshine could go up in smoke. You would be better off planning a one day visit to the nearby volcano instead and hope the volcano does not erupt and go up in smoke literally. So being a guitarist may not be desirable for someone who prefers a job with no strings attached. Similarly, being a musician when you are not noteworthy in the first place is also not too wise.

Don’t apply for a job at the Meepit Juice Break, a home for the lost Meepits too. The job which needs you to operate a machine named juice-o-matic. Easy, you say. Not when you look at the various pipes and start to have a massive headache. The pressure shoots straight up when you notice the adult Meepits staring at you with their big eyes, which is bound to send any Neopian chills upon his/her back and goosebumps. Sure, those little Meepit children are cute but the adult Meepits are a whole different matter altogether. What could make it possibly even worse is that you would rue the moment one single Meepit is not fed in time. Don’t say that I did not warn you. This is an account from my friend who barely escaped alive to tell this horrifying experience. If you can’t concentrate fully in this job to feed Juppie Juice to the little Meepits, be prepared to get canned.

Another job on the must-avoid list is to be a policeman for the Defenders of Neopia. By now, all those people advocating for justice would surely have raised their arms up. No please, don’t throw all those piles of sludge onto me yet! Calm down, think for a while. If you are poor, you would already have problems bringing home the bacon. Could you even afford to send your Neopets to the Mystery Island Training School or the Swashbuckling Academy (unless, it is your pet’s species day)? Chances are, you would be more interested in making the trip to Tyrannia to get your free omelette instead. Thus, the strength points of each of your Neopets would probably not be more than 20 points. You probably can’t even afford a decent battle set too. You would have problems protecting your life, not to say eliminating the evil. In short, you lack an arresting personality to carry off the title of policeman.

So, when you flip to the classified section of The Neopian Times, you should have a rough idea on what jobs not to apply for and hopefully, you could find a suitable job to provide for your Neopets soon.

 
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