"I Fell off Faerieland" - and Other Wacky Excuses
NEOPIA CENTRAL - It's so bright and breezy. The sun is shining, the clouds are
white and fluffy and you are walking -- no wait, jogging. Sprinting! Yes, sprinting
down the street in a mad rush to get somewhere, and fast! Where could you be going
in such a hurry? The backpack swinging wildly off your shoulders is definitely
Neoschool! That’s it! You rush up the steps, push open the door and race to
your classroom, not pausing to catch your breath. All of your classmates have
taken their seats and the teacher, a mean-faced Neopet with a short fuse, has
already begun the lesson.
She points to you and calls out your name. “Why are you late?”
“Uhh,” you falter, unsure how to explain your tardiness.
You know what? It sounds like you could use a good excuse! Are you sick and
tired of hearing your teacher scream while you stand there, five minutes late
to class? Well my friend, you could use a few wacky, yet believable excuses
to use on your teacher. You know what they say: A good excuse means no mental
abuse… (which is detention, in your case)!
Okay, I know you must be eager to get started, but let’s commence with the
Perfecting Your Delivery:
Keep in mind that it’s not always what you say when you’re explaining your
tardiness… it’s also how you say it! Keep a straight face and steady tone. Make
sure not to let your eyes wander--this symbolizes nervousness and uncertainty.
Always remember that in order for the teacher to believe your excuse, you need
to believe your excuse as well.
Part of that comes from the techniques mentioned above. In no time, you’ll
be able to explain your tardiness perfectly and believably! Everyone should
be able to have a good excuse once in a while. Seriously, do you really want
to use, ‘I slept in’ or ‘I left my book and had to go back’? I didn’t think
so. No, I am not teaching you to lie; I’m teaching you to stretch the truth.
Trust me, there’s a difference! Plus, you don’t want a detention, right? Okay,
so here we go:
Excuse #1 - “I was late for Neoschool because I fell off Faerieland.”
We’ll start with the one in the title. Now, we all know that it is impossible
to “fall off” the cloud that is Faerieland. You could be kicked off, I’m sure,
but falling off isn’t an option. What is it that holds the giant city of Faerieland
on some fluffy white clouds? The answer: magic. The magic forms some kind of
barrier preventing you from slipping off the clouds and swan dive into the pavement.
But I bet your teacher doesn’t know that! Tell her you fell off and a faerie
had to swoop down and save you, which is why you were late.
Or, if you wanted to get creative, you could say that Queen Fyora herself had
to swoop down and save you, abandoning the Hidden Tower just in time for two
thieves to break in and when you got back to Faerieland, you had to stop the
thieves and--see, this excuse could go pretty far! ;)
Excuse #2 – “I was late for Neoschool because I accidentally switched my
alarm clock with a Diddler, so I slept in because he never woke me up.”
Okay, this has happened to me once. ONCE. I was planning on taking my Diddler,
(a Robot Petpet) to the Virtupets Space Station to replace his memory chip,
when I accidentally picked up my alarm clock instead. You know, they both sit
on my nightstand, so this is a very possible situation.
Turns out that the “alarm clock”, which was actually a Diddler, didn’t wake
me up because he was snoozing himself. Next thing I know, it’s 9:00am and I’m
still sleeping the day away. The key to this excuse is to make it believable.
Seriously, I mean this Diddler/alarm clock mix up must happen to tons of Neopians,
right? Right? Come on, Diddlers and alarm clocks… don’t you see the similarities?
*clears throat* Let’s just move onto another excuse. …I still need to pick up
my alarm clock, by the way.
Excuse #3 – “I was late for Neoschool because I nearly set the Neohome on
fire by trying to cook breakfast for my family.”
Aww, how considerate of you to think of your family when it comes to breakfast!
Of course, when you’re first learning how to cook on the Faerie Stove, you’re
bound to make a few mistakes. You know, little things like burning food by overcooking
it, forgetting to turn off a burner or not cleaning up when you’re finished.
Now this excuse is actually pretty realistic. Haven’t you ever had a little,
er, mishap in the kitchen? Use it as an excuse! Your teacher will probably see
the hilarity of a simple mistake… or extremely hazardous mistake, just depends
on how you look at it, I guess. And you can use this excuse more than once since
you cook your food more than once! No worries, the key word in this excuse is
nearly, so setting your Neohome on fire to get out of getting to school
on time isn’t a must.
Excuse #4 – “I was late for Neoschool because I traveled to Meridell to
pick you (my teacher) a fresh apple to put on your desk. It was really, really
hard to find since Meridell has mostly berries, but I finally found one. To
my surprise, it turned out to be an Everlasting Apple! Just as I was about to
bring it back to Neopia Central, a Grarrl thief attacked me but everything turned
out okay because two faeries from Faerieland flew down and took the magic apple
and everything was peaceful again.”
O_O You must be pretty good at delivering excuses if you think you can pull
this one off. If there were a poll about how wacky some of these excuses sounded,
this one would definitely get my vote. By the time you finish telling the story
of you, the thief and the apple, it won’t matter because you’ll be off to class!
I have confidence in you! If you’d like to try this excuse for being late,
then I can only hope that your teacher will think it’s so sweet of you to think
of her. See, that’s the nice part of this excuse. You were late to Neoschool
because you went out of your way to get a present for your teacher. Classic!
Excuse #5 – “I was late for Neoschool because I spent the morning reading
this ridiculous article on different excuses I could use to explain my tardiness.”
Normally I’d run with any excuse you wanted to, but if you use this excuse
on your teacher, then you’re on your own! Later!
Author’s Note: Thank you for reading and thanks to bewitched2 for editing.
If you want to send me your comments, go right ahead! And if you’d like to use
any of these excuses… well, good luck to you. I don’t advise you to, but if
you’re brave enough then be my guest. Otherwise, this was just a fun/silly article!