Interview With the Snowager

by arachneweaver

One of the most fearsome beasts that has ever lived, lurking in the cold depths of the Ice Caves in Happy Valley is the Snowager! We have all certainly heard of this terrifying monster as children, our parents warning us that if we misbehaved the Snowager would come after us! Some of us have even heard of first hand encounters with the Snowager from the bravest of adventurers. With the legends of this icy creature also come the tales of the unimaginable treasure that it guards. Today, hear the other side of the story, enough with the tales of shocking horror, let's hear from the Snowager itself! This is Zelifra Zafara of the Neopian Times.

Well I've been traveling for about 5 hours now, deep into the freezing Ice Caves to meet the Snowager. With some amazing negotiations done by my crew, the Snowager has agreed to tell his side of the story. I think this is the entrance to the cave right here....

Zelifra: Snowager??? Are you here? This is Zelifra Zafara of the Neopian Times here to interview you if you don't mind!

Snowager: I'm here, please come into the cave. Remember, don't touch the treasure, or I may be forced to do something nasty!

Zelifra: All right, that's fine with me, I'm just here for your side of the story. So, you've been around for several hundred years and it seems that you've been terrorising all the Neopians who venture this far. Why is that?

Snowager: Me terrorising??? I'm just trying to live my life here, this is my home you know. What would you do if tons of arrogant and rude adventures started invading your house and stealing your belongings? There aren't any police around here so I enforce my own laws.

Zelifra: Well I guess you've made a point there, but is it really necessary to blast ice at all these poor pets? Isn't there another solution?

Snowager: No, there aren't any other solutions for me. If I just told them nicely to go home and stay away from my treasure they'd come back again and again. I'm just trying to live my peaceful life, and all of you greedy Neopians are trying to steal my treasure.

Zelifra: Here's the question I've been dying to ask you, where did all this treasure come from???

Snowager: I earned it all, I grew Neggs, traded them in for better ones. I invested in stocks and bought all of this. It's rightfully mine, I didn't steal it so keep your grubby hands off!

Zelifra: Yikes....I'm glad you've voiced your opinion. It's like stealing from someone's safety deposit box I guess...

Snowager: Exactly, and you know I have to sleep, even Snowagers need some shuteye sometimes. And when I do, all these little critters steal my stuff...and you think I'm the villain? Do you know how frustrating that is? All my hard earned items stolen while I sleep?

Zelifra: I guess that must be difficult for you but most of the Neopians that wander to your cave are poor and unfortunate, they need something to live on. Why not help them and donate things to the Money Tree?

Snowager: I wasn't always wealthy you know, but I can proudly say that I became rich honestly. If they need to make a living, they should go play games or something. Just because I'm a monster doesn't mean you can steal from me! As for donating, I'd consider it, I mean I have a heart and all, maybe I'd donate some stuff one a month or something like that. Do you think that would keep people away from my caves? I have a life to live you know.

Zelifra: That would be great. I'm sure pets would respect you more and not steal from you any more. Thank you for sharing your story. I never thought about it that way. It really is wrong to steal from you isn't it?

Snowager: Yes, I'm happy I've finally let out all those feelings I've had for years. Thank you for giving me the opportunity.

Zelifra: It's my pleasure Snowager, I hope that more Neopians will understand your situation.

Loyal readers of the Neopian Times, hopefully you can see the Snowager's view of this. I think this has been a very touching sort of interview. Do what you think is right. See you next week in the Neopian Times!