A Survival Guide for Prospective Baby Mutant Owners

     Combining the distinctive features of the Mutant colour with the youthful appearance of Baby Neopets, these new pets are perhaps the most unexpected combination Neopia has seen yet.

     You may be wondering what could possibly go wrong. After all, they're babies. They're small. They're adorable. They probably enjoy toys, naps, and being carried around. And that's exactly what makes them so dangerous. Because somewhere between "Look at those big eyes and tiny feet!" and "Why is there a tentacle in my soup?" you will discover the truth.

     Baby Mutants are still Mutants.

     Mutant Neopets have been part of Neopia for generations since Year 3, historically created using transmogrification potions long-associated with Dr. Sloth (perhaps not the most reassuring fact to learn immediately before bringing a mutant into your neohome). Mutants have never quite received the same admiration as some of our more traditionally cuddly colours. Their unusual appearances have often led Neopians to make assumptions about their personalities, intelligence, and behaviour.

     Of course, any experienced Mutant owner will tell you that those assumptions are rarely accurate. A Mutant can be shy or outgoing, playful or serious, bookish or mischievous, just like any other Neopet.

     Which raises an important question:

     What is it actually like to own one?

     As someone considering bringing a Baby Mutant home, there are a few things you should probably know first.

     1. The first 24 hours matter

     Bringing home a new Baby Mutant is an exciting experience.

     At first, everything seems perfectly normal. Your new companion may look around the Neohome, inspect their surroundings, and cautiously investigate their new room. You may proudly show them their bed. They may look at it. You may show them their toys. They may look at those too. Then they will probably find something much more interesting.

     A cupboard. A potted plant. The curtains. A Petpet (best to keep those away, for now).

     Or, for reasons that will remain known only to them, the exact place where you keep your collection of Neopoints.

     Do not be alarmed. Curiosity is an important part of growing up.

     2. Don't Be Fooled by the Word "Baby"

     This is the first and most important rule of Baby Mutant ownership.

     Do not assume that "Baby" means "harmless."

     A Baby Mutant is still a Baby, of course. They may want to play, explore, ask questions, and be reassured that there really aren't any monsters underneath the bed. But they are also Mutants. This means you may find yourself in situations that other Neopian families simply don't understand.

     A Baby Kacheek might ask for a bedtime story. Your Baby Mutant might ask whether the strange noise outside was coming from the garden shed.

     A Baby Uni might spend the afternoon drawing pictures. Your Baby Mutant might spend the afternoon trying to figure out whether a plant has feelings.

     There is nothing wrong with this. You simply need to be prepared to answer questions you never expected to be asked.

     3. Playtime May Not Go According to Plan

     Every Baby needs playtime, and Baby Mutants are no exception. The good news is that Neopia offers plenty of activities to keep even the most energetic little Mutant entertained.

     Kacheek Seek is an excellent place to start. After all, hiding is something your Baby Mutant may already be remarkably good at. You might think you're playing a harmless game, only to discover that your little companion has somehow managed to squeeze behind a piece of furniture you were certain was too small to hide behind.

     You count to ten.You search the room.You check behind the curtains.

     Nothing.

     Then you hear a tiny giggle.

     “Found you!”

     “No, you didn't.”

     “...Found you!”

     Perhaps Kacheek Seek is less of a game and more of a training exercise for Baby Mutant ownership.

     And then there is Gormball. Now, I know what you're thinking. Is Gormball really an appropriate activity for a Baby Mutant? Probably not. Will that stop them from wanting to play? Absolutely not. There is something about tossing a ball around and waiting to see who gets splashed that seems particularly appealing to a Neopet who already has a rather unusual relationship with the concept of personal safety.

     Your Baby Mutant may even take an unusual amount of pleasure in the fact that the Gormball can explode. Do not ask why. Do not encourage them. And definitely do not be surprised if, after losing a round, they immediately ask to play again. And if your Baby Mutant discovers that they particularly enjoy the exploding part of Gormball?

     Well...

     Perhaps keep a first aid kit handy. For the furniture, of course.

     4. Other Neopets May Need Some Time to Adjust

     One of the most important things to remember about Baby Mutants is that they should not be treated as though their appearance tells you who they are.

     Some Neopets may be surprised or nervous when they first meet one. That's understandable. Mutant Neopets can look very different from what they're used to seeing. But after a little time, they'll probably discover what everyone else eventually does: Your Baby Mutant is still just a Baby. They might want to play. They might want a snack. They might want someone to read them a story. They might want to show you something they found outside. And they might want to ask why they can't keep the strange object they found outside.

     5. Don't Judge a Baby by Its Extra Appendages

     There is something particularly funny about the way Neopians react to Mutant Neopets. An adult Mutant might receive a startled glance in the marketplace. But a BABY mutant? Suddenly, the claws are cute. The unusual teeth are cute. The strange eyes are cute. The mysterious appendage that nobody can quite identify? Also cute. This is how Baby Mutants get you.

     You start by thinking they look unusual. Then you notice their tiny feet. Then their little expression and “giggle”. Then you imagine them sitting beside a pile of toys. Then, somehow, you've spent the afternoon planning their entire Neohome. You have been warned.

     6. Feeding Time

     Every Baby needs food. Unfortunately, Baby Mutants have not provided us with an official guide explaining exactly what they consider to be an appropriate snack.

     Despite their unusual appearance, Baby Mutants don't necessarily have unusual tastes. One might adore a fresh Negg, while another turns their nose (or noses) up at anything that isn't covered in chocolate. Perhaps yours will become obsessed with Kau Kau Farm Milk, or maybe they'll decide that the food from the Pizzaroo is the greatest thing in all of Neopia.

     The important thing is to let your Baby Mutant develop their own tastes. Don't assume that because they look intimidating, they'll enjoy intimidating food. They might have surprisingly refined tastes, or they might happily eat the same snack every day for the rest of their lives.

     And if you finally discover their favourite food? Congratulations!

     You now have to keep it stocked forever. Because apparently Baby Mutants have very good memories when it comes to snacks.

     7. Bedtime Is a Different Story

     Getting a Baby Mutant to sleep should be straightforward. Bath. Pajamas. Story. Bed. Goodnight. Unfortunately, you have forgotten one crucial detail:

     Your Baby Mutant has discovered questions.

     "Why is the moon following us?"

     "Where do Snowbunnies sleep?"

     "Can I keep the thing I found outside?"

     "Why?"

     "Why?"

     "Why?"

     Eventually, you will have to explain that it is bedtime. Your Baby Mutant will climb into bed. You will close the door. You will walk away.

     Silence. Peace. Finally.

     Then, five minutes later: "Are you still awake?"

     8. What Every Baby Mutant Needs

     Despite everything you've just read, Baby Mutant ownership is not nearly as complicated as it sounds. At the end of the day, a Baby Mutant needs the same things any Baby Neopet needs. A safe place to explore. Someone patient enough to answer questions. A favourite toy. Good food. A comfortable place to sleep. Someone who will listen to their stories. And, perhaps most importantly, someone who won't make them feel strange simply because they look different.

     They may need a little extra understanding from other Neopets. They may need some time to become comfortable in a new home. They may occasionally surprise you. But that is part of being a Neopet.

     9. What They Don't Need

     They don't need to be hidden away because they're unusual. They don't need to be treated like monsters. They don't need everyone around them to be frightened. And they certainly don't need to hear that they are "scary" every time someone meets them.

     Mutant Neopets have been part of Neopia for a very long time. Their appearance may be unusual, but unusual does not mean bad. Besides, if you've ever spent enough time around a Baby Mutant, you will quickly discover that the most frightening thing about them isn't their appearance. It's their ability to find (then hide) the one thing in your Neohome that you specifically told them not to touch.

     10. Be aware of the Warning Signs

     After a while, you'll learn that Baby Mutants have a few very particular ways of letting you know that trouble is brewing.

     They've discovered the Wheel of Monotony. They insist they can wait. They cannot wait.

     They've been unusually interested in the Magma Pool. You have no idea why. They refuse to explain.

     They've asked whether they can visit the Haunted Woods alone. The answer is no.

     They're carrying a suspiciously large pile of Gormball equipment. Ask questions.

     They've challenged another Neopet to Kacheek Seek and insisted on choosing the hiding spot. You are about to spend the next twenty minutes looking underneath every piece of furniture in the Neohome.

     They've started collecting things from the Money Tree. Technically, this isn't a problem. Until you discover that they have decided every item they find is now part of their “collection.”

     And finally, the most serious warning sign of all:

     Your Baby Mutant says, “Don't worry. I have a plan.”

     You should worry. You should worry immediately.

     The truth is that owning a Baby Mutant probably isn't all that different from owning any other Baby Neopet. They'll have favourite toys. They'll develop favourite foods. They'll have good days and bad days. They'll make friends. They'll get curious. They'll occasionally make a mess. They'll surprise you. And, eventually, you'll stop noticing that they look different at all.

     You'll just see your Baby Mutant. Your little companion.

     If you've made it this far and are still thinking, “I absolutely need a Baby Mutant,” then welcome to the Mutant Baby Club, where you don’t have to look like everyone else to belong, you don't have to be conventional to be lovable, and you don't have to be less strange to be wonderful.

     Sometimes, being a little different is exactly what makes you special.

     Now where is my other sock?