A Mutated Friend for Your Beastly Neopet

     Christine: Welcome! Does your creepy Neopet need a friend? Well, there are plenty of creepy Petpets in Neopia to keep your pet company!

     Angie: Do they bite? I would think so! ---frowns---

     Maldice: Relax. We will be observing these wild specimens at a safe distance.

     Angie: Good...

     Ella: I hear that Mutant Petpets can do lots of crazy things, such as vicious biting or even casting certain spells! Look from afar.

     Christine: That’s why they would be perfect for creepy Neopets in search of a friend. In honour of the Mutant edition of the Neopian Times, we will be observing several Mutant Petpets today. Without further ado, here are the Petpets:

      ---Mutant Bearog---

      Angie: Well, this one isn’t so bad. Very cute! I suppose it’s a “Mutant” because it is a cross between a bear and a dog?

     Maldice: That’s where you’re wrong. Bearogs are supposed to have three heads. The Mutant Bearog only has one. An unpainted Bearog looks like this:

      Angie: Oh, dear...

      ---The Mutant Bearog bares its teeth and barks at Angie.---

      Angie: Oh, no! Don’t tell me he’s mean!

     Ella: Hey, wild creatures from the Haunted Woods aren’t exactly known for being cuddly bundles of love...

     Maldice: If you love puppies, Warfs are friendly!

     Angie: True... But I already have a Petpet.

     Christine: Anyway, it’s a shame that this Mutant Bearog is mean and wants to bite Angie’s head off, or else I’d gladly keep him as a pet, since I love dogs. Onto the next scary Petpet...

      ---Mutant Bogie---

     Angie: YUCK!!!

     Maldice: At least it has a nice sour apple smell.

     Christine: A DISGUSTING sour apple smell! Get this thing out of here! A picture will have to suffice.

      ---Ella picks up the cage, with the Petpet inside it, and takes it outside.---

      Christine: Phew... Maybe in a few minutes, the house won’t smell dreadful any longer.

     Angie: Anyway, this nasty thing is made of SNOT! Who would want this thing?! The regular Bogie is bad enough:

      Maldice: Hey, the Mutant one has SIX EYES. Six are better than two!

     Ella: Whatever, it looks creepy. What made it grow six eyes?! Something terrible in the drinking water?!

     Christine: A Mutant Petpet Paint Brush was used on this Bogie. That’s why it has six eyes now.

     Angie: Well, I’m glad I don’t have to care for that thing. NO WAY!!!

      ---Mutant Bython---

      Christine: An ordinary Bython consists of conjoined twins, but the Mutant Bython consists of conjoined triplets! See the regular Bython below:

     Ella: How does that even happen?!

     Maldice: In the magical land of Neopia, anything is possible!

     Angie: Whatever, these triplets look mean. The one head is sticking its tongue out and hissing at me.

     Ella: I could not imagine life as a conjoined twin, or triplet, for that matter!

     Maldice: Exactly! What if one twin wants to sleep, while the other wants to stay up and watch Neovision?!

     Ella: That’s a predicament that the vast majority of Neopia will never have to deal with.

     Angie: Are Bythons poisonous? I hope not...

     Ella: I don’t know, and I don’t see any volunteers to stick their hand out and get bitten to find out...

     Christine: I know, right? PLEASE don’t do that. Poisonous snake bites can be fatal.

      ---Mutant Clompkin---

      Maldice: Meet Noche, my Mutant Clompkin. Don’t worry. This one is tame!

     Angie: I’m still not petting her.

     Ella: It looks like she has tentacles. What are they used for?

     Maldice: Walking, since she doesn’t have feet like an unpainted Clompkin. She can also use her tentacles to grab things!

     Angie: She has three eyes... I guess that fits the definition of “Mutant.”

     Maldice: Hey, three eyes are better than two!

     Ella: Ordinary Clompkins only have one eye... Could they also be considered Mutants? See below:

      Angie: I guess so!

     Christine: I hear that Clompkins are very clumsy... Maybe it’s because they have only one eye.

     Ella: I could not imagine life as a cyclops... Fortunately, that’s not something any of us have to deal with.

     Maldice: I guess that it’s easier for Noche to see. Since she is a Mutant Clompkin, she has three eyes instead of one.

     Ella: Too bad we can’t ask her. I wish Petpets could talk!

     Angie: Agreed!

      ---Mutant Fir---

     Angie: So much for a jolly winter holiday... This thing looks decrepit!

     Maldice: This is exactly what a Mutant Petpet Paint Brush can do.

     Angie: At least a tree can’t bite... can it?!

     Ella: I’d still be careful. It has a face, arms, and CLAWS! Whoever heard of a tree like that?!

     Maldice: You haven’t ever visited the Brain Tree, have you?

     Ella: The BRAIN Tree... Yuck!

     Christine: Anyway, the Mutant Fir has eerie, glowing red eyes, and looks at home in the Haunted Woods.

     Angie: Um... I will befriend a regular Fir, thank you.

     Ella: Agreed!

      ---Mutant Meowclops---

      Christine: The regular Meowclops has one eye, whereas the Mutant Meowclops has two! Who’s the real Mutant here?! See the regular Meowclops below:

      Angie: Similar logic to the Mutant Bearog.

     Ella: The Mutant Meowclops has wild fur... It looks like it’s endured an electric shock!

     Angie: Not to mention the scared look on its face...

     Ella: What happened to the Meowclops’ big, fluffy tail?! The Mutant Meowclops looks like it barely has a tail!

     Maldice: I’ll tell you what happened. Someone painted it with a Mutant Petpet Paint Brush.

     Angie: We need to start a petition to BAN those ghastly brushes... and Transmogrification Potions as well!

     Ella: Good luck with that...

      ---Mutant Powtry---

      Angie: NOW they’ve done it! A head of broccoli personified... and it’s MEAN!

     Ella: Gee, I wonder what spell was cast on an ordinary head of broccoli to make it like this?! Don’t say the paint brush, since the Mutant Powtry can’t be made using the brush.

     Maldice: In Neopia, there’s a spell for everything, whether good or evil!

     Angie: You would HAVE to be evil to create THIS thing!

     Christine: Anyway, despite being a personified head of broccoli, the Mutant Powtry should not be eaten, since it’s still a Petpet.

     Angie: Don’t worry... I am going nowhere NEAR that thing!

     Ella: Agreed!

      ---Conclusion---

      Christine: So, which Petpet was everyone’s favourite?

     Angie: None of them... Vicious BEASTS!

     Ella: The Mutant Bython. It’s interesting that three Petpets can live in one body!

     Maldice: My Mutant Clompkin, of course.

     Christine: Anyway, every creepy Neopet should be able to find the perfect companion this Mutant Day. Until next time, dear readers!