Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 196,766,106 Issue: 940 | 16th day of Swimming, Y23
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The Surreal Recipes of the Cooking Pot


by pikachu315111

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Neopia is a world filled with surreal ideas. A city of magical beings that once floated on clouds, haunted woods inhabited by grotesque creatures, cities that are underwater and underground, and in the sky there’s a space station, moon colony, and a satellite that causes random events. But those are some of the more obvious examples; Neopia has plenty of more subtle surrealism. Take for example an unassuming cauldron on a tropical island which possibly has the strangest property of all: fusing objects together. I’m of course talking about Jhuidah’s Cooking Pot on Mystery Island, and I have a list of some of the odder recipes that can be mixed. Get your aprons on and mad scientist goggles fastened as we check:

     The Surreal Recipes of the Cooking Pot!

     

     “Mixing with the Cooking Pot takes knowledge and finesse,

     Who knows if you’ll end up with something surreal or a mess!“

     However just mixing the recipes together isn’t enough to satisfy my curiosity. So, with permission from Jhuidah, I’ve came up with a plan to turn the Cooking Pot and the liquid inside invisible so that we only see the items dunked in. This way we can see how the ingredients combine to form some of these recipes. I’ll do my best to describe what happens but luckily Jhuidah has agreed to help fill in any gaps I may not be able to get my head around. Ready Jhuidah?

     

     “I’ve been ready! You’re the one who keeps narrating to himself.

     You know that the invisibility spell only lasts for a couple of hours, right?”

     Recipe #1: Asparagus (Magic Potion + Sunflower Seeds)

     The Mixing: The Magic Potion’s bottle & cork dissolves as the liquid inside surrounds and gets absorbed into the Sunflower Seeds. The seeds then start to sprout, but instead of a sunflower, asparagus stalks grow from the seeds!

     My Comment: “The Magic Potion made the Sunflower Seeds into Asparagus seeds?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Makes sense, sunflowers are good absorbers of foreign elements so they would be able to easily soak in the properties of the Magic Potion. As for why the sunflower changed into asparagus, sunflowers specifically are good at absorbing toxins, so for it to absorb magic it would need to turn into a plant that can do that. It’s a little known fact the asparagus has an amazing magic tolerance, if you ever spill a potion try throwing some asparagus on it and it’ll slurp it all up. Though be mindful of the smell.”

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     Recipe #2: Banana Melon Blurb (Baked Fish + TeaLeef)

     The Mixing: All the vegetables that come with the Baked Fish dissolve except for two olives which attach to the fish’s eyes. The small berry and giant leaf of the TeaLeef splits apart. The berry at first appears to grow longer, but then breaks apart revealing a banana had grown inside it; the berry halves then attaching to the fish’s fins. The leaf grows purple flowers with twisty stems from its stem until falling apart, the pieces of the leaf turning into smaller leafs. The banana, flowers, and leaves adorn themselves around the fish (a flower attaching to the fish’s mouth), completing the dish.

     My Comment: “The Tealeef did most of the work there going through quite a few mutations, but why? The Asparagus at least had the Magic Potion that caused the morphing reaction.”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “But there was no morphing reaction. As you noted, the Tealeef is a very strange plant, it notably grows backwards. It’s not surprising it has some hidden features when it reacts to the magic of my pot. Also, pouring the Magic Potion alone on the Sunflower Seeds wouldn’t turn them into Asparagus; don’t forget my Cooking Pot is infused with magic which make objects susceptible to changes. What some of these changes are is out of my control, but some reveal hidden traits about the item. The TeaLeef’s trait of having an opposite growth is both emphasized and exaggerated: since the berry is technically the “stem” it grows a fruit and since the leaf is the “fruit” it sprouts another plant with a stem part. As for why it’s a banana and flowers is irrelevant; had it grown an apple and mushrooms it would have probably been called “Apple Melon Blurb”. It was named for what it became; not becoming what it was named. I also wouldn’t be too quick to assume nothing happened to the fish, note the Baked Fish itself is a Cooking Pot recipe with one of its ingredients being a Lemon and Lime Fish Pop. While the Baked Fish lost the fruity flavour it had while it was a fish pop, it looks to have retained some of that inside of itself which later was used to turn the fish’s body into being melon-like with this recipe.”

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     Recipe #3: BBQ Porkwich (Bread + Neopox Pizza)

     The Mixing: Two slices of the Bread cut themselves off as the rest of the loaf floats toward the Neopox Pizza slice. The tip of the pizza lifts up, pokes the loaf, and then starts chipping away at it; seemingly consuming it. As more of the loaf vanishes the pizza’s “body” starts to inflate and slowly morphs into a Snorkle shape! As it grew the number of red splotches on the pizza Snorkle increased. When it’s done eating the loaf that’s when the two cut Bread slices position themselves above and below the pizza Snorkle and began squeezing it. The green parts of the pizza Snorkle began to break away, gather together, and turn into a dark brown liquid. Meanwhile the remaining red splotches reveal themselves to be chunks of pork as they gather closely together on one slice of the bread. The dark brown liquid then covers the pork chunks before the top slice of Bread fits itself on top, completing the BBQ Porkwich.

     My Comment: “So were the red splotches on the Neopox Pizza originally chunks of pork? Also why did the green stuff turn into BBQ sauce? What is it made of? Did eating the bread have something to do with it? Speaking of which, what was that pizza turning into a Snorkle thing all about?!”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Don’t you criticize one of my favourite recipes! You’re way too focused on what happened to the pizza, the Bread was just as important. You obviously can’t break down a medicine into a food; you need a catalyst to change it. The Neopox Pizza is made of specially treated pork pieces, not enough to make a sandwich with, and a green mould on top of yeast-less wheat crust. To create more pork the pizza needs to grow so it's fed the remaining Bread loaf that reacts with the crust; as they’re both made from wheat you’re essentially expanding upon what’s there. So, as the pizza grows, more pork and mould is also created; it turning into a cute Snorkle is just a fun bonus! However, because of the rapid growth, the medicine coating of the pork gets absorbed by the mould. When the mould is completely removed the leftover carbohydrates from the bread ferments the mould making all the medicine dissolve away. What is left is a spicy sauce substance not too dissimilar from BBQ sauce. It no longer heals Neopox, but the benefit of it being made from medicine is that it increases your Defense by putting more meat on your bones; and you need it, you look as thin as a twig!”

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     HYBRID BERRIES:

     Recipe #4: Blunella (Blurf Gelert Cake + Oranella Slushie)

     Recipe #5: Munparaberry (Munuberry Slushie + Transparaberry)

     Recipe #6: Rahkleaf Melon (Glowleaf Melon + Rahketmelon Slushie)

     The Mixing(s): The Munparaberry and Rahkleaf Melon were the most “straightforward”. The fruit ingredient went inside the slushie, the slushie rapidly shook until the liquid’s colour changed to match the hybrid berry’s colours, and then all the liquid was sucked into the straw which spits out the hybrid berry; the empty slushie cup dissolving with its role done.

     However the Blunella doesn’t use a Blurf fruit but instead a Blurf Gelert Cake. It starts with the Blurf Gelert Cake drinking the slushie! Finishing the slushie, the Blurf Gelert Cake starts shivering and wincing. It tries rubbing its “head” with its ears, but then the wax of the candle freezes over as the fire (which didn’t get extinguished when put into the pot) quickly burns all the way down causing the cake to pop like a firework! An Oranelle and a batch of Blurfs spread out from where the cake was but are then sucked into the slushie cup. As with the other two, after shaking for a bit the slushie turned all the fruit into a liquid that gathers into the straw which spits out the Blunella, the slushie cup dissolving like the others.

     My Comment: “Okay, so it needed the slushie in order to be used as a mixer. But I don’t get why the Blunella recipe didn’t use a Blurf?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Did you not notice when the Blurf Gelert Cake popped it released a whole batch of Blurfs? A single Blurf wasn’t enough, multiple were needed. The Blurf Gelert Cake was the only Blurf food with enough Blurfs and a face to drink the Oranella Slushie. Drinking the slushie give it brain-freeze, freezing the candle letting the fire burn down it more quickly. And what happens when a fire reaches the end of a fuse? It makes what it’s attached to go BOOM! The Blurf Gelert Cake is no more but it freed not only all the Blurfs it was made of but also the Oranella it drank. All are then mixed together into the hybrid fruit. Let’s move on before I splat you in the face with a Blurf Mince Pie!”

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     SUDDENLY APPEARING DESSERT TOPPING:

     Recipe #7: Choccy Corn (Pheppacorn + Stick of Butter)

     Recipe #8: Cream Roll (Jam Pastry + Strawberries and Cream Baby Food)

     The Mixing(s): Both were pretty quick. For the Choccy Corn, first the Stick of Butter melts and slathers around the husk of the Pheppacorn. The paper wrapping of the Stick of Butter then wraps itself around the husk and starts to rapidly spin until it tears itself to pieces but reveals the buttered husk has turned into the chocolate dipping of the Choccy Corn.

     For the Cream Roll, the Strawberries and Cream Baby Food squeezes into the opening of the Jam Pastry which starts to twist around and become longer and thinner. Just before closing one of its ends the baby food plops out, tilts over the top of the pastry, and pours out a whipped cream topping before the jar dissolves away.

     My Comment: “The Pheppacorn’s husk, when mixed with butter, must have a chocolate flavour; it just needs to be mixed real fine thus needing the butter’s paper wrapping to spin around it like sandpaper. Not sure what happened with the Cream Roll, obviously the Strawberries and Cream Baby Food has cream in it but it would be mixed in with the strawberry; what happened inside the pastry that separated the strawberries from the cream to make the whipped cream?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “There’s more to it than that. Go ahead, you try finely mixing Pheppacorn husk and butter together and see what you get; I’ll give you a hint: it won’t taste like chocolate. No, more is going on and I suspect it has to do with the paper. Unlike other food’s inedible parts, the paper didn’t dissolve in the Cooking Pot’s water but ground itself to nothing. There must be something about the paper’s essence mixing with the husk and butter to get it tasting like or transforming into chocolate. As for the separation of the Strawberries and Cream Baby Food, the Cream Roll is bigger than the Jam Pastry so would need the strawberry part to fill the rest of it up. As the two sweets separated, the cream got whipped up leaving only whipped cream in the jar.”

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     Recipe #9: Deluxe Organic Salad (Flowers + Organic Red Grapes)

     The Mixing: The Organic Red Grapes pluck themselves off their stem, shooting inside the Flower’s vase, sometimes hitting a flower also bringing it inside the vase. When all grapes and flowers are in the vase, the vase starts to bulge as we see green leafs and pieces of grape peak out from the lid until the entire vase squashes and widens into a bowl containing the Deluxe Organic Salad. The grape’s leftover stem dissolves away.

     My Comment: “Not really a mystery how this comes together, but I do have a question for Jhuidah: WHY make a salad out of flowers?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “I didn’t make a salad out of flowers... I also used grapes! Alright, it’s like this: a common thing Neopets used to bring to me to mix were Flowers as they had nothing else to do with them. Customization didn’t exist back then so the only useful thing I could think to do with them was make them into a salad. The Flowers aren’t dangerous to consume and the grapes were a simple fruit to get a hold of. It’s a nice dish to bring to a group gathering; unless you know what it’s made of then no one suspects a thing. *wink*”

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     Recipe #10: Frump Soup (Hot Soup + Red Lipstick)

     The Mixing: The Red Lipstick starts out writing runes all around the Hot Soup cup. Once done, the lipstick dips the wax pigment tip into the Hot Soup and stirs it, the soup turning from a brown to a greenish-yellow colour. The lipstick container dissolves as the soup starts bubbling and half a melon raises from the soup! It completely covers the top of the cup, the whole thing then turns over and the cup dissolves away revealing the Frump Soup.

     My Comment: “This is even WORSE than the Deluxe Organic Salad!”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “You wouldn’t believe how many lipsticks there used to be. Once again, turning them into food was the only reasonable response. Luckily, you can write things out with lipstick, so I was able to use it to write out a spell that made a melon grow and the soup have a melon flavour. Admittedly I do regret the name a bit; I was being spiteful as the ones most often throwing lipstick into the Cooking Pot were rude woman demanding a more “tropical” item to accentuate their Mystery Island vacation experience. I guess now would be as good time as any to mention that my Cooking Pot IS NOT a place to throw away your trash! Take it to Bonju’s Culinary Concoctions; he thinks he can mock me by imitating, busboy never made any successful recipe that isn’t called a disaster.”

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     SUDDENLY APPEARING SANDWICH FILLER:

     Recipe #11: Grilled Smoked Meat Sandwich (Chunk of Meat + Stale Bread)

     Recipe #12: Grundo Stick Sub (Fresh Baguette + Grundo Stix)

     The Mixing(s): For Grilled Smoke Meat Sandwich, the Stale Bread splits vertically in half, becoming the top and bottom bread pieces of the sandwich. The Chunk of Meat tries to fit between the pieces of bread when suddenly a layer of cucumbers appear. The meat tries again when a layer of mayonnaise then appears. Each time the meat tries to slip in a new layer of filling appears: lettuce, dressing, cheese, ketchup, olives, BBQ sauce, etc. As the sandwich stacks high the meat begins to spin rapidly until finally slamming into the filling tower, knocking out and dissolving everything but the cucumbers, lettuce, tomatoes, and sauce of some kind. The plate then just rises up from the bottom of the Cooking Pot as a nice final touch.

     In comparison, the Grundo Stick Sub is less violent (if you don’t ask where the original “stixs” come from). The Fresh Baguette splits open and lines itself against the Grundo Stix. Looking like a filler-light meal, both Grundo Stix then bud another Grundo Stix which buds another one and another one until both are the length of the baguette! The Grundo Stix all break apart and line up on the baguette, forming the sub.

     My Comment: “I guess that explains where the Grundo Stick Sub get the additional Grundo Stix, but where did all the fillings for the Grilled Smoked Meat Sandwich come from? And why make all the additional fillings if it’s not going to have them a part of the sandwich?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Grilled Smoke Meat Sandwich asks the important question: what makes a sandwich a sandwich? Is it the many filling and condiment options; a few on their own or paired together? Or is it the main ingredient for which the sandwich is named after and, until it’s added, the fillers make it no more complete than just two pieces of bread? It makes you think, at least long enough for you to finish the sandwich and move on. I already get enough flack from Mira about the Grundo Stick Sub, just know no more Grundo are hurt in the making of the sub... unless you’re getting the Grundo Stix for the specific purpose to make the sub which in that case I think my Space sister may want a few words with you.”

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     Recipe #13: Hot Chocolate (Chocolate Milkshake + Hot Soup)

     The Mixing: The Chocolate Milkshake starts releasing ice cubes forming a bigger cube of ice while the Hot Soup has a flame shoot out of it and gather in a fireball roughly the same size as the big ice cube. The ice cube hovers over the soup as the fireball leaps over in a streak of flame right into the chocolate milkshake. As the transparent cup morphs into a white mug, I can see the milk chocolate boil turning into the Hot Chocolate. Meanwhile, the ice cube floats above the soup... and smashes down upon it, shattering in the process. After a rush of bubbles both ice cube and soup are gone, what remains of them dissolving away.

     My Comment: “Was thinking the milk and soup were going to mix together or the Chocolate Milkshake would cook itself in the soup, but I guess smashing the soup into oblivion works too. But why did the transparent cup change into a white mug?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Mixing the soup and milk would be too much of a mess; not to mention the smell. Easier to just remove the heat and cold and swap them. Though if it was just me I’d just buy some powdered chocolate, boil some water & milk, and make hot chocolate the old fashion way. But I guess sometimes you, somehow, only have a Chocolate Milkshake and Hot Soup and get in the mood for Hot Chocolate. Though rarely is anyone in the mood for cold soup. As for the cup’s colour and shape, have you ever carried a hot beverage in a glass cup? Even the cup knew if it was going to hold a hot beverage it better change too; it may not feel the heat but burnt hands tend to let go of things a few feet over hard floors.”

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     Recipe #14: Hotfish (Cornupepper + Fish Pop)

     The Mixing: The stick of the Fish Pop detaches and unravels itself, wrapping itself around the fish. The fish eats the Cornupepper and soon starts releasing steam smoke; this causes the green scales to peel back revealing a grey fish underneath. The heat causes the stick wrapping to puff up like a sheet of flatbread and the green scales crumple to look like lettuce. Once done cooking itself, the fish looks up and sprays a curved stream of a brown Cornupepper sauce (and shreds of cheese?) onto its back.

     My Comment: “So I’m taking that flatbread and lettuce aren’t going to taste like flatbread and lettuce. And where did the shredded cheese come from?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “I wouldn’t be so fast to make assumptions, but yes. It looks as fishy as it tastes because the flatbread and lettuce were once part of the Fish Pop. However, you won’t be noticing most of that as your mouth would be on FIRE from the Cornupepper sauce! As long as the texture is right you’d be surprised how you can fool your senses if you overwhelm them enough. That also goes for the shredded cheese, it’s actually shredded pieces of the Cornupepper but the texture matches cheese so you don’t really notice something is off as your mouth burns with the taste of fish.”

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     Recipe #15: Sliced Neggs (Orange Negg + Purple Negg)

     The Mixing: The stems of the two Neggs grow and weave together, becoming one stem. The Neggs then begin to squish together, flattening themselves while the combined stem becomes as dense as the Neggs. The Neggs now look like a layered pole of an ambiguous orange, green, and purple mass. Suddenly a plate appears out of nowhere and cuts each coloured mass into three pieces! The plate then positions itself underneath the tower of Sliced Neggs.

     My Comment: “That plate gave me a jump scare! I was curious where the green slices came from as the recipe only calls for an Orange Negg and Purple Negg, didn’t think about the stems.”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Not surprised, normally you don’t eat a Negg’s stem as they hold little nutritional value and can be hard to chew on. The stem has served its purpose, connecting the Negg to its mother plant to receive energy to grow until ripe enough to pick. But, what were to happen if you combined two Negg’s stems together and have both Neggs send back some of the energy? Well, you don’t need to wonder, as you’ve seen it! Some say the green slices taste just like a Green Negg!... though that’s probably because they think my Cooking Pot magically added a Green Negg because, like you, they also wondered where the green slices came from. Since the energy that thickened the stems were from the Neggs the stem does have that fruit-yolky taste, but no other hints of flavour making it more taste like a basic Negg than anything else. Certainly doesn’t have the citrus, lingering sweetness, or refreshing flavour of the Orange, Purple, or Green Neggs.”

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     Recipe #16: Snowy Winter Frame (Flower Ink Frame + Frosty Snowman Stamp)

     The Mixing: The Flower Ink Frame applies itself onto the Frosty Snowman Stamp. The snowman on the stamp looks around, gets annoyed at how cramped it is, and jumps out of the stamp. The snowman removes the frame by pulling at it causing it to fall around it, lying at the base of the stamp. But then the stamp tips over, squashing the snowman and falling atop the frame. The stamp then dissolves and the frame lifts up, revealing the ink have been covered by snow to form the Snowy Winter Frame.

     My Comment: “Rather unfortunate for the snowman. But how was the snowman “squashed” when they’re floating in the Cooking Pot? It looked like the Flower Ink Frame somehow created a floor?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “And that’s exactly what it did, at least around the snowman. And don’t worry about the snowman, it may not be a snowman anymore, but there’s a reason why the frame suddenly got up at the end; the snowman has fused with the frame! It works like this: The snowman needed to be out of the stamp so its snow could be used, so the Flower Ink Frame attached to the stamp to make it cramped. Now the snow needed to be applied to the frame, so the frame fell around the snowman, creating a “floor” so that the stamp could fall on top of it. The snowman turns back into snow and covers the frame while the stamp parts dissolve away. Explaining it doesn’t do it justice... and neither does watching it thinking about it; I think it’s a “feeling” thing.”

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     Recipe #17: Uni Bear (100 Percent Fake Uni mask + Fuzzie Bear)

     The Mixing: I gave Jhuidah an unimpressed expression thinking I knew where this was going. Jhuidah tapped me on my head with her mixing spoon and told me to just watch. I thought the 100 Percent Fake Uni mask was just going to tie itself around the Fuzzie Bear’s face. I was wrong. The two toys faced each other as the Fuzzie Bear bowed down to the Uni mask. The Uni mask tapped the Fuzzie Bear on the head with its horn and suddenly the Fuzzie Bear’s head vanished and attached to the Uni mask! The Uni mask taps the Fuzzie Bear’s remaining body parts one at a time (body, arms, and finally legs) until all parts are attached to it.

     My Comment: “... That felt a bit overcomplicated for something that looked pretty straightforward...”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “I’m sorry, is the toy called “Fuzzie Bear Wearing a 100 Percent Fake Uni mask”? NO! It’s called a “Uni Bear”; one singular toy. It needed to look like a Fuzzie Bear wearing a 100 Percent Fake Uni mask, but the mask couldn’t come off. It would be rather cruel to dump a whole lot of glue onto the Fuzzie Bear’s face, so the only way to achieve this was by the Uni mask becoming the face of the Fuzzie Bear’s body. Thankfully Uni horns are magical, and even though it’s a fake horn these are toys so they just made believe the magic was real. DISCLAIMER: Only when the Fuzzie Bear and the 100 Percent Fake Uni Mask are interacting with one another can they make believe they’re real because they’re both already make-believe. Any Neopian playing with the Uni Bear does not need to worry about make believing the horn using real magic though you can certainly make believe it does for fun.”

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     USUKI FOOD:

     Recipe #18: Usuki Green Salad (Lettuce + Usuki Cookery Set)

     Recipe #19: Usuki Head Stew (Cheerleader Usuki + Joint of Ham)

     Recipe #20: Usuki Rarebit (Grilled Cheese Sandwich + Traditional Welsh Usuki)

     The Mixing(s): Each recipe has it so that the Usuki toy turns the food into an Usuki food. For the Usuki Green Salad the Usuki Cookery Set comes out of its packaging and slips under the leaves of the Lettuce. The Lettuce then sheds its leaves revealing the core which is shaped like an Usuki and wearing the Usuki Cookery Set. Grabbing the packaging, with a flip of the wrist it turns into a plate and gets to work turning the pile of Lettuce leaves into the Usuki Green Salad, seemingly pulling extra ingredients from the pile of leaves. When done, it holds up its creation triumphantly before dissolving away, leaving only the Usuki Green Salad.

     Usuki Head Stew starts with the Usuki Cheerleader giving a cheer, suddenly throwing out a small bowl from its pompoms; giving another cheer, the bowl grow to regular size. The Joint of Ham fits into the bowl, bone side sticking out, as the Usuki Cheerleader jumps on the bowl’s rim and starts dancing around. The Joint of Ham’s bone starts following the Usuki Cheerleader, stirring faster and faster. A broth soon rises up as the meat slips off the bone, getting chopped to pieces by the stirring bone. However, the bone eventually collides with the Usuki Cheerleader causing her to lose balance and fall into the stew; she tries grabbing onto the bone but it sinks in with her. Few seconds later green peas rise up, the same colour as the Usuki Cheerleader’s uniform, and a metal spoon rises out and rests itself on the side of the bowl. The Usuki Head Stew is complete, but for a few seconds I could have sworn I saw the Usuki Cheerleader’s head appear behind a meat chunk, give me a wink, and dive down into the broth; all these surreal recipes are beginning to mess with my head.

     Usuki Rarebit has the Traditional Welsh Usuki take out a stick and uses it to split open the Grilled Cheese Sandwich. Lying down with the cheese side facing up, the Traditional Welsh Usuki does a traditional dance around the open Grilled Cheese Sandwich. With one hand she takes out handkerchiefs and throws them onto the cheese, meanwhile she holds the stick with the other hand and uses it to mix the cheese with whatever the handkerchiefs are made of. The grilled cheese turns into a cheese sauce. She uses the stick to put the sandwich back together, showing the bread has changed into an Usul’s face (or would that be an Usuki’s face?). The Traditional Welsh Usuki takes a bow and then dissolves away upon showing us the traditional way to make an Usuki Rarebit.

     My Comment: “Now that’s what I call a dinner and a show. It’s less of a fusion of the two items and more the Usuki toy makes the food?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “I’m a Faerie not an Usuki, how am I supposed to know how to make Usuki food? Who better to make Usuki food than an Usuki? Of course Usukiland isn’t just going to hand over their Usuki food recipes so we have to get creative. Usuki are very particular about what food they’ll reveal their secrets about, these are just three I found but each Usuki is said to have a favourite food they’ll gladly make for you... if you can animate them. Which my Cooking Pot allows to happen... but only when the Usuki are making their favourite Usuki food; otherwise they’re just toys floating in boiling, magical Faerie water. Usuki, Usuki, ever notice when you say a certain word a lot of times it starts sounding no longer like a word?... Usuki.”

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     NATURAL PETPET/ROBOT PETPET HYBRIDS:

     Recipe #21: Babik (Fleurbik + Zebba)

     Recipe #22: GX-4 Haseebot (GX-4 Oscillabot + Hasee)

     Recipe #23: Romeep 3t3 (Meepit + Roburg 3T3)

     Recipe #24: Zamillion (Gallion + Zoomik)

     The Mixing(s): The Babik is “grown” by the Fleurbik retracting itself back into its pot which grows slightly bigger as it does. The Zebba tries following the Fleurbik into the pot, just barely able to squeeze in, but the pressure is too much and the pot shatters. The Zebba’s body is covered in soil and moss as it pulls the bottom of the broken pot off its head. But instead of the Zebba’s head, it’s the FleurBIK’s head with the colours of the ZebBA; a Babik.

     The GX-4 Haseebot “morphs” by, well, do you know the coin trick illusion where if you quickly rub two coins together fast enough it looks like there’s a third coin in the middle of them? While they’re not rubbed together, the GX-4 Oscillabot and Hasee stand side-to-side and start jumping one after the other. They start slow but get faster and faster, until they look like a yellow and purple blur. When the blur turns completely purple does the jumping stop, and between where the GX-4 Oscillabot and Hasee stood is the GX-4 Haseebot.

     The Romeep 3t3 “merges” by the Roburg 3T3 detaching the top half of its head shell which hovers over the Meepit. The head shell then, as best I can describe it, “digitizes” the Meepit and uploads it into itself. The head shell returns to the Roburg 3T3, but instead of simply reattaching it closes the shell casing over the eyes of the Roburg 3T3. The shell casing opens back up with a Meepit’s face popping out having become a Romeep 3t3.

     The Zamillion “constructs” by the Zoomik first landing on the back of the Gallion. The Gallion then stands up, the Zoomik coming apart to fit around the Gallion’s body but as this point still in one piece. The Gallion spreads its wings and makes a jumping motion (of course it’s in the Cooking Pot so it’s still floating but in a more dynamic pose). Parts of the Zoomik come off and fit onto the Gallion’s limbs and head while it’s “floating”; by the time it “lands” back on all fours they have transformed into a Zamillion.

     My Comment: “I’ll admit, I was a bit worried that I was going to need to call the PPL, though still pretty strange. More importantly, I still can’t understand what happens to one or both of the Petpet’s minds now that they’ve become one?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Mira is better at explaining this robot stuff than I am, but I’ll try. As you can plainly see, both Neopets fuse together with the organic Petpet becoming a cyborg... or is it an android? (I explain the basic differences between a cyborg and android). Organic enhancements through robotics are cyborgs, robots made with organic parts are androids, and so a fusion of the two are... SO the half-Petpet, half-robot is mainly the organic Petpet in control. However, the organic Petpet doesn’t know how to run a machine, so the previous Robot Petpet still exists in the machine to help it run and perform better. (I conclude what Jhuidah is trying to say is that the Robot Petpet’s AI becomes an Operating System for the cyborg Petpets). Yeessss... that’s exactly what I mean by... what you just said there.”

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     PETPETS THAT TURN INTO OTHER ITEMS:

     Recipe #25: Edible Plushie (Gremble + Ghost Marshmallows)

     Recipe #26: Fishing Meepit Statue (Meepit + Fishing Kiko Gnome)

     Recipe #27: Ugga Chair (Uggatrip + Checked Kitchen Chair)

     The Mixing(s): The Edible Plushies are made when the Gremble eats the Ghost Marshmallows, chews on them for a bit, and spits them back out as the Edible Plushies. The Gremble then taps its feet together and vanishes.

     Fishing Meepit Statue comes to be when the Meepit takes the Fishing Kiko Gnome’s fishing pole. The Fishing Kiko Gnome’s eyes glow a deep red, suddenly vanishing in a blink on an eye. The Meepit is no longer moving as its now the Fishing Meepit Statue.

     The Ugga Chair forms by the Uggatrip taking a nap on top of the Checked Kitchen Chair. As it sleeps a visible dream cloud forms from the Uggatrip as we watch a dream of it where Neopets keep accidentally sitting down on it and jumping up in surprise bottom pain, each time the Uggatrip giving a chuckle. As it dreams this, the Uggatrip sinks into the chair, only its back plates and tail still visible. The dream cloud then pops as do the wooden chair legs which now are replaced by the Uggatrip’s legs. The Ugga Chair now starts walking around wanting to have Neopians sit on it.

     My Comment: “Well, at least the Edible Plushie isn’t actually a Gremble, though now I don’t want to eat it. But where did the Gremble vanish to? And are the other two Petpets still...”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Don’t worry, they’re still alive, and have even found a new purpose in life! The Gremble vanished to where all Gremble vanish when they tap their feet together... if you’re waiting for an answer I don’t know. I didn’t even know they could eat with that stitched mask on. But a Petpet that isn’t getting away soon is that Meepit. Kids, learn from the mistake this Meepit made: don’t steal from a gnome lest you wish to become one. No, I don’t know what happened to the Kiko gnome either; maybe it goes to the same place as the Gremble. Thankfully the Ugga Chair has no disappearing parts, the Uggatrip dreamed it was constantly being sat on and so it became what it dreamed. I wouldn’t consider being sat on being a happy dream but I don’t have sharp plates on my back; I wonder if the Ugga Chair still does it because it thinks it’s funny?”

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      + =

      + =

     SAND SCULPTURES:

     Recipe #28: Modern Sand Sculpture (Bottle of Blue Sand + Bottle of Purple Sand)

     Recipe #29: Star Shaped Sand (Rainbow Sand + Reject Star Shaped Sand)

     The Mixing(s): It’s well known that the most notable part of the sand sculptures you can make at the Cooking Pot is the exaggerated shapes the glass bottles change into. No mystery how that’s done as we now know that items in the Cooking Pot can change their shape. However, there are two sand sculptures which caught my eye.

     First is the Modern Sand Sculpture which has orange and pink sand in it even though it only uses Bottle of Blue Sand and Bottle of Purple Sand. When both bottles are placed in the cooking pot they become thinner and gently tap together. The top of the bottles and corks fuse together as the bottoms pull apart, forming a base and its triangular shape. The purple sand settles onto the bottom of the sculpture forcing the blue on top. The middle section of the bottle then has the purple and blue sand blend together turning pink. Trying to restore the purple colour, the sculpture pushes all the blue sand to the bottom, making the pink and blue on top blend into an orange colour. With all the blue sand on the bottom, the purple colour returns leaving us with how we know the Modern Sand Sculpture looks.

     Star Shaped Sand starts with both the Rainbow Sand and Reject Star Shaped Sand opening up, spilling out their sand, and the bottles swapping positions. Like with the Uni Bear above, I give Jhuidah an unimpressed look; and also like with the Uni Bear, she taps me on the head with her mixing spoon and tells me to watch. To my confusion, the rainbow-coloured sand and star-shaped bottle dissolve away leaving the sand of the Reject Star and a normal-looking bottle. The sand, a mess of colours, then starts separating into different colours: red, orange, green, yellow, blue, pink, and finally purple. When all the colours were inside and the bottle corked, the yellow sand in the middle forms into a star which pushes the bottle in five directions, forming it into the Star Shaped Sand.

     My Comment: “I get the sand colour mixing of the Modern Sand Sculpture, though why didn’t the blue sand start on the bottom and the purple sand on the top? And I’m completely confused why the Star Shaped Sand didn’t use the rainbow-coloured sand and the star bottle instead of doing things the hard way.”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Is it that confusing? Guess you have to be a Mystery Islander to understand the colour blending of sand. Luckily, you have a Mystery Islander right here to explain it! The Modern Sand Sculpture needed to have the blue sand start out on top because that was the only way it was going to get the orange colour. I’m assuming it’s easy enough to understand the purple and blue mixing together to form pink, but to get the orange it had to drain all the blue colour down. Now, according to the colour wheel, what colour is the opposite of blue? That’s right, orange! If it had started with purple on top it would have turned yellow and completely mess with the sunset feng shui colours the sculpture was going for. And while looking the most complicated, the Star Shaped Sand’s reason for getting rid of the rainbow-coloured sand and star bottle is simple: it didn’t have what it needed. Look at the colours of the Star Shaped Sand and Rainbow Sand, notice any difference? That’s right; the Rainbow Sand has no pink! Despite the sand from the Reject Star being a mess, it had all the colours; it just needed to separate them. As for the bottle, you saw how the Reject Star’s bottle messed up the sand. The bottle wasn’t shaped right, so in order to get the right shape this time around the normal bottle was used and forced into the proper star shape.”

      + =

      + =

     WEAK BOTTLED FAERIES:

     Recipe #30 - #36: Weak Bottled Faerie (Faded Bottled Faerie (x3))

     Weak Bottled Faeries: Unidentifiable Weak Bottled Faerie, Weak Bottled Air Faerie, Weak Bottled Dark Faerie, Weak Bottled Earth Faerie, Weak Bottled Fire Faerie, Weak Bottled Light Faerie, Weak Bottled Water Faerie

     

     

     Faded Bottled Faeries: Fading Bottled Air Faerie, Fading Bottled Dark Faerie, Fading Bottled Earth Faerie, Fading Bottled Fire Faerie, Fading Bottled Light Faerie, Fading Bottled Water Faerie

     

     

     The Mixing(s): The bottles dissolve leaving the vague outline of the Faeries surrounded by a faint glow of the color associated with their element. A pink portal then opens up which the Faeries go into and, once all three are in, it closes and a dark greyish-blue portal opens up which a random Weak Bottled Faerie comes out of before closing.

     My Comment: “Well, it wasn’t as bad as I was expecting. I’m guessing the pink portal led to a safe location in Faerieland for the faded Faeries to heal, but why doesn’t Faerieland just hold a Bottled Faerie exchange program?”

     Jhuidah’s Comment: “Because we then wouldn’t also get rid of the bottles. Balthazar’s Faerie bottles are a bane to us Faeries; they’re resistant to our magic, draws in all Faerie magic when an empty one is opened, and when a Faerie is inside limits their power and strength. It’s a cruel cage which purpose is to make a Faerie feel powerless. But finally, after all these years, the old bottles have weakened, and it all has to do with Faerieland’s fall. Yes, since the event that has been called the “Faeries’ Ruin”, a title which I don’t completely agree with but putting that aside, there hasn’t been as much Faerie magic as there use to be. The old bottles sustained themselves on Faerie magic, so without an abundant amount in the air the bottles feed off their captured victims. But with the captive Faerie’s power restrained they don’t have that much magic to give and eventually enter into a “fading” state that doesn’t give off any magic. It’s very tragic, but has now given us a chance to destroy the bottles. We can’t open the bottles while our sisters are in their “faded” state, at least not out in the open. My Cooking Pot not only has the magic necessary to dissolve the bottles but also provides our “faded” sisters with a quick magic bath to allow them to survive outside the bottles once more. It’s also able to pull items elsewhere from Neopia, so what better reward for helping us free our sisters than by “offering” one of Balthazar’s new Faerie bottles fresh off his shelves. They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but JUSTICE is a dish best served from the magical warmth of my COOKING POT!”

     

     And on that note the invisibility spell on the Cooking Pot wears off, first the floating mass of orange liquid reappearing followed by a big green cauldron surrounding it. Seeing how the Cooking Pot mixed items together had made me curious how some of the other recipes I thought were “simple” would actually mix; but I’m out of the materials needed to cast the invisibility spell I’ve had enough surrealism mixing for one day. I leave the Cooking Pot as I do with many mysteries in Neopia: with some answers, even more questions, and a hankering for some food not made from stuff randomly pulled out from the junk drawer (okay, maybe that last one is Cooking Pot exclusive).

 
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