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The Neopian Pizza Critic

by robbie_roxburgh


Good Day to all you Pizzaroo fanatics, Crust connoisseurs, and other aficionados of the wonderful world of pizza!

I, Erioniza the Cloud Cybunny, have dedicated my entire existence in Neopia to carefully sampling and critiquing all of the wonderful, unique, and in some cases downright bizarre flavors of pizza that can be found all over Neopia, and now my friends I pass on my findings so that you and your friends can have a helpful guide to finding that perfect slice to sate your rumbly tummy.

I will be giving you a few of my top personal selections, and also some of the just plain yucky!

To start out with we will begin with the top ten best types in my personal opinion. Bear in mind you may have other tastes, I can only say what i like and do not like.

We begin at number one with a traditional all around favorite, a simple slice of cheese pizza. Robust in its tomato sauce flavor and delectable strings of gooey cheese this is always a big hit.

Followed with a real gourmet treat, the Pepperoni and Mushroom Pesto Pizza Slice. A rather high-class twist to a classic favorite.

The pesto gives a slightly nutty flavour to the pizza while the pepperoni lends a delightful pop of spice, the mushroom adding to the intensely earthy quality of the slice itself.

Thirdly a personal favorite of mine, being the Pineapple Pizza Slice. I do love the sweet and tart punch of the pineapple mingled with the savory flavor of the tomato sauce and cheese. The only thing that would make this even better is perhaps some delightfully salty ham to contrast with the tartness of the pineapple.

Fourth in my personal top ten BEST pizzas, we come to the always popular White Pizza Slice. For those who dislike the acidity of tomato sauce, the white pizza is a delicious alternative! Traditionally a white pizza is simply a white based sauce, usually a garlic parmesan or a rich creamy alfredo, topped usually with chicken, sometimes some spinach and or mushroom are also added. A true culinary delight.

Fifth in this countdown we come to the Yummy Cloud Pizza Slice, It is absolutely divine. Light on the tummy too! I do not know how else to describe this pizza, truly.

Ranking in at number six, we have the Chili Cheese Pizza Slice, a spicy and delightful blend of messy chili and pizza, bring a fork for this one folks! And perhaps a large stack of napkins.

Number seven on my list we have a tie, the Cheeseburger Pizza Slice and the Cheesesteak Pizza Slice were both equally delicious in their own right, so much so that I had no choice but to name them a tie! With the Cheeseburger Pizza Slice you have all the delicious flavors of a juicy cheeseburger right in your pizza! The Cheesesteak Pizza Slice features the robust and well known flavors of the classic cheesesteak sandwich, the steak, cheese and green peppers and onions we all know and love.

Eight finds us sampling something a bit off the beaten path with the Artichoke Pizza Slice. For those of you who have never tasted the subtle sweet nutty flavor of an artichoke heart, I strongly recommend this pizza!

Number nine of course is the Tropical Fruit Pizza slice. A marvelous blend of tropical delights atop the savory pizza, c'est manifique! I personally enjoy the pop of the sweet and tangy fruits alongside the crisp crust.

And lastly on the TOP ten favorites, we come to the Garden Fresh Pizza Slice, A particular delicacy for the vegetarian Neopian! Absolutely divine to a Cybunny as myself! Though meat eaters might be more inclined to not like this one.

Now we must move to my ten WORST pizzas. A category in which one must wonder WHAT the chefs at Pizzaroo were THINKING!

First we come to the Dung Pizza Slice. Really this needs no explanation! Who really wants to eat this particular substance?

Secondly we have the Ghost Pizza Slice. I personally have no desire to even know what or how they came up with this one, but who wants a pizza you can't even hold onto? Let alone bite into or keep in your stomach!

Thirdly the Mutant Cheese Pizza Slice, I always wondered what they did with all those wheels of dirty cheese from Cheeseroller, I suppose this is our answer!

Fourth on the list of absolutely horrid pizza concoctions i have found in my sampling, and this one folks is self-explanatory... the Snot Pizza Slice . No further comment.

Ranking in at number five we have the Solid Stone Pizza Slice. I highly recommend not trying this one unless you are a Grarrl or a Skeith! Unless of course you have a penchant for breaking off your teeth.

Number Six brings us to the Squid Delight Pizza Slice. While squid is edible, I do not find myself wanting seconds on this particular culinary disaster.

Seventh on the worst pizzas in Neopia is the Blackberry Pizza. Unless of course you intend to make it a dessert, this is unappealing.

Eighth on the worst list is the Coral Pizza Slice. While it may be a delicacy for the Kiko and Koi, Most of us don't enjoy chewing something that feels like a rock.

Number nine is the Anchovy Pizza Slice. This is just my personal opinion but... Anchovies ... yuck!

And last of all on my bottom ten pizzas we come to the Grey Pizza Slice. Not good, Not bad, just... bleh.

And there you have it my friends. I truly hope this helps you all to find the perfect slice for you! Bear in mind these are my personal preferences and yours may vary. However taste them all for yourself and explore the wonderful world of Neopian pizza and other cuisine! Perhaps the next Neopian food critique will come from you!

I remain your faithful Neopian pizza critic,

Erioniza the Cloud Cybunny.

Bon Appetit!

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