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Campaign Against Money Tree Pollution

by absdafabs


If I said the word ‘Money Tree’ to you, what images, I wonder, would be first to pop into your mind? Rotting driftwood? An old rotten left sandal? Or, maybe, it would be the very nutritious rockfish?

There is one thing these three items all have in common. Not only are they smelly and Fyora knows where they have been, but they are absolutely useless! None of them can be eaten, placed within your humble neohome or worn (not that you would want to!).

Dumping at the Money Tree is a growing issue within Neopia, and one that seriously needs to be addressed and dealt with. The Money Tree was created with the intention of it being a place where desperate, penniless Neopians, mainly newbies, could go to acquire an item of a little bit of worth or value to make the time of hardship just a little bit more comfortable for them. Yet now, they get there only to be forced to pick up revolting bits of dead fish. Images have even been emerging of some neopets, desperate for something to eat, attempting to chew the vile, rubbery sandal.

The main source of the problem appears to be the underwater fishing cavern in Maraqua, which was discovered just a few years ago. Neopians have donned their wellington boots and fishing rods to take up this new craze. The fish they catch may seem to be a desolate prize, but gaining a fishing level for your neopet is not to be sniffed at. These catches soon swim their way to the Money Tree, polluting its once blossoming branches, when their owner realises their uselessness.

I spoke to the fishing minister, Mr I M Afish, to see what he aims to do to improve this stinking problem:

Abs: So, just out of interest, what was the purpose of setting up the underwater fishing cavern?

Mr I M Afish: Here in Maraqua, we decided to create the fishing cavern due to our beliefs in the reintroduction of old traditions, fishing included, into Neopia.

Abs: Okay, but, when you came up with the idea, did you foresee any of the problems it would cause for the Money Tree?

Mr I M Afish: Absolutely not. I assure you, fellow Neopian, that I feel quite the same way about this issue as you do and, had there been a whiff of this smelly problem in the planning stages, I would have scrapped the whole idea.

Abs: It’s great to hear that you support my campaign. What are you planning to do about this important issue?

Mr I M Afish: Well, first of all, I would like to demolish the whole of Neopia Central, the Money Tree included, to avoid contamination.

Abs: Contamination? Is there something we are being kept in the dark about here?

Mr I M Afish: Well, you know, just in case there happened to be, and I’m not saying there is, any infectious items within the fishing water.

Abs: So, what exactly are the chances of this? They can’t be very high, surely?

Mr I M Afish: No, no. There’s only about a one in ten chance of this happening.

Abs: Oh, right. It’s not as if that is high or anything! Right, so after you knock down Neopia Central, what will be the next stage of your plan?

Mr I M Afish: I’m afraid that all neopets who have visited the Money Tree within the past two decades will have to be taken to a quarantine in the Ice Caves for a hundred years.

Abs: Surely there must be some alternative?

Mr I M Afish: Sadly not, it must be done. But look at the bright side, after that everything will be fine.

Abs: Hang on a moment, won’t fishing items just simply make their way back to the Money Tree again after it has been rebuilt? Would it not make more sense to just close the whole underwater fishing cavern?

Mr I M Afish: Certainly not! I would be out of a job and that just wouldn’t do. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have bigger fish to fry...

This chain of events would certainly see the end of Neopia as we know it and would cause widespread panic as owners and Neopets alike are whisked away to the Ice Caves for a century of tedious boredom.

Naturally, we do not want this disastrous catastrophe to occur so, if you feel any compassion towards your neopets, then please stop this pollution that is damaging our world! I spoke to the chief researcher at CAPIN (Campaign against Pollution in Neopia), who supplied me with these words of wisdom on how we can prevent this:

1. We need to boycott the underwater fishing cavern. If their trade is dramatically reduced, they are likely to understand that everybody is angry about this environmental threat and will spring into action to resolve the issues. Besides, who would want any more sea junk?

2. If you have any rubbish left in your inventory or safety deposit box that you want to get rid of, don’t donate it! There is a reason for the disposal system and that is to prevent issues like this arising.

3. If you have a spare few minutes, take a trip to the Money Tree and, if there are any pieces of rubbish lying around, pick these up and dispose of them properly.

4. Spreading the word of our campaign is of utmost importance! The more Neopians that know about it, the more likely we are to succeed in our aim to prevent this smelly waste issue remaining. Make sure you remind your neofriends daily that they should not under any circumstances dump their unwanted fishing hauls at the Money Tree.

So, will you join this campaign? Or would you rather sit by and relax while our neohomes, shops and lifestyles are bulldozed unnecessarily and our pets captured and imprisoned because we simply couldn’t be bothered to clear up after ourselves in a responsible and sustainable manner.

It’s your choice, but I know which side I am on!

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