Questions for "The Snowager"

Most refer to him as “The Snowager”, but you can’t honestly say you know for sure if that’s his name or not. I mean, his name could actually be something simple like Bob or Icey, or perhaps Mr. Grumps since he obviously does not enjoy a bit of companionship when you care to drop in and say a polite old, “Hello Chum! How are the toys festering today?” But of course, that is quite reasonable for a big old icey monster. But is he really a monster? Is he really a mean wanna-be-villain that just happened to come by an, erm, luxurious home out in the middle of a freezing cave. I mean, come on, the guy’s gotta have some odd reason for residing in a place where no one would dare to stop by for afternoon tea. What possibly could his plans be to take over Neopia? Is he an undercover sidekick to the menacing Dr. Sloth? If so, then why has he waited for such a long time to make a move on Terror Mountain. After all, he lives right in the heart of it!

I’ve also always wondered his side of the story... was he really always a mean and grumpy toy hog? And where did he get all those toys? Did he rob Santa’s Sleigh back in year two? That would explain why some of the items you are lucky enough to retrieve from him are soo out of style. But that still doesn’t explain other bamboozling questions one may have.

Some other questions have also entered my mind that I’ve wanted to ask if I were to, say, stumble upon the Snowager in a good mood. My first few questions would obviously be what his name was, and then I would move on to some more interesting topics; like where does he get all of his loot and perhaps, if I have not been eaten by then, where he was born. I actually kind of answered the last question in my mind about him being born. I figured it’s gotta be, oh, I don’t know... somewhere, say, Icish? But then again, he may have been a lab ray experiment gone wrong. Or maybe a petpet lab ray? Whatever the causes are for his... being here... it’s still puzzling to wonder why he sleeps only for a mere two to six hours a day, and at different times. Perhaps he was once a Meowclops? That would explain the napping schedules, but never would it explain him being a snake-like figure...

And what about all the toys and loot he has stored up? Perhaps instead of a wanna-be-villain, he was once a wanna-be-pirate who sailed out on a rickety old ship to the Krawk Islands to raid some helpless victim from his glorious treasure. Or maybe he was a crew mate ordered to walk the plank but suddenly he pulled out a sword and said in a piratish accent “Aye, ye’ll have to do better than that, Cap’ain Arf.” Or... maybe he’s just been a really good thief who hasn’t been caught? *scoffs* Yeah, sure, I could see the headlines of the Neopian Times “Wanted: The Snowager and his icy comrades [whoever they are]. Report immediately to an official Terror Mountain officer. Beware, he will eat you if you dare take his rare and out of style toys!” And then a snazzy snapshot of the Snowager's head pasted on the paper. I’ll even wager that the signs would be posted all over Neopia about this “Toy Hog” and how you should stay away from him and his goody loot. Of course, some little boy or girl will probably sneak away from home and try to save Neopia because of all the great stories they’ve heard about King Altador, so perhaps putting him on display isn’t the wisest idea...

He could be a toy factory maker for the toy factory. But then you’d wonder why he seems to have a bountiful supply of toys that never diminishes... so maybe the cave he lives in is an ancient old abandoned toy factory?

For another mind-boggling thought, what if he is actually just a wise old Neopet whose lived for centuries even before the known existence of Neopia and is just grumpy because he is super old? O.o

There’s also the interesting fact that he could (not saying he is!) be a “toy pincher.” You see, instead of a neopoint pincher where they scarcely use a neopoint unless the must, he is a toy pincher, commonly known to most as a toy hogger... He steals or makes or retrieves or... whatever he does with his toys... just so if the Stock Market in Neopia crashes, he has plenty of toys to still get by. But then again, that’ll probably never happen.

So maybe we’ll never know... or maybe some great hero will come by who is brave enough to ask “the Snowager” these intriguing wonders. Nevertheless it’s always interesting to imagine an answer to such perplexing puzzlements of Neopian mind. And whiles these questions are still remaining in your head, visit the Snowager and see if he is interested in a cup of tea. Maybe you’ll be brave enough to ask these questions. Or maybe this will just remain another Neopian mystery unsolved.