For an easier life Circulation: 176,434,869 Issue: 339 | 18th day of Eating, Y10
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series

Rusty Old Can Infestation?

by _pooglegirl_


In pointless related trivia, 17.7 million rusty old cans have been fished up though!" Neopian Times Issue 329 (Editorial)

Where did these cans come from? Why is it that Neopians have fished millions of cans out of the underwater fishing cavern? Many people have searched, but none found the answers. So I went behind the scenes of Maraqua in search of the true answers to these questions.

I started my search in the most obvious place, the underwater cavern in Old Maraqua. When I went into the cavern, I decided to ask around to see what everyone knew, or if anyone knew anything at all about the cans and why there were thousands of them drifting through the dark, dreary lake water. First I asked the local fishermen, and according to them, the Maraqua council put the cans there so that there is a less likely chance of finding the real treasure hidden in the cavern. I find this story very unbelievable. Seriously, what useful or valuable thing could you find in that murky water? *cough*

Continuing my research, I decided to ask the local bait shop owner what he knew. His name still remains a mystery, so for now we will call him Sid. So as I asked Sid what he knew, he dropped his voice to a whisper (what was this mysterious man about to reveal?) and leant forward, whispering in my ear the following sentence. "A local company has been coming here late in the night time and chucking a whole load of old cans into the water; I haven't seen them do it, but some locals say they have seen it happen." After plenty of late nights, a stolen hat and three breadfish, I have been able to uncover the company dumping the cans. Local restaurant Kelp appears to be the culprit of all the illegal dumping. What were they using these cans for? That was my main query about that theory, but I have not yet been able to get a comment from the manager at Kelp about the dumping.

After spending a great deal of time fishing in the damp, musty cavern, I discovered that not only are there thousands of rusty cans floating around the water, but also thousands of rotten old boots. I just wonder where the owners of the boots are and what happened. But it made me think, why are the waters of Maraqua so polluted? Are Neopians being careless with their rubbish and causing all this destruction to the environment?

I decided to get my research team together and see if they could help answer some of these questions, we decided to take a survey from fishermen (and women) about what they caught the majority of the time. After calculating the results, I was astounded by the results. 29% of surveyed Neopians caught rusty old cans the majority of the time! What has happened to our pollution-free waters? Where are all the fish which should be in the water? I decided to venture deeper into the cause of all of the rubbish-filled waterways.

Following the lead from the bait shop owner, I signed up as a waitress at Kelp, hoping to discover more about the illegal dumping, and after a useless argument, defensive measures, and a bouquet of flowers, I was finally able to get the job. In my first few weeks working there, I was just a waitress, carrying food to and fro, dropping plates and doing the usual "Are you ready to order sir" routine. I didn't discover anything of interest. I began to doubt whether Kelp was the cause of this pollution. Though I guess a reporter has to do what a reporter has to do. Surprisingly, one night on my late shift, I overheard an intriguing conversation, a local citizen called Bruce, dressed in a fancy tuxedo, was discussing his shocking experience late in the cavern last night (I am still unsure as to why he was there at that hour of night, and have not been able to uncover the reason for this).

From what I managed to overhear in between serving customers, he seemed to have seen a masked group of waiters dressed in maroon coats and green bowties with large, black garbage bags flung over their shoulders at the wharf of the underwater fishing cavern. They proceeded to empty the bags into the murky water before disappearing into the darkness outside the cave.

Apparently Bruce was hiding in the shadows the entire time, though I wonder how a fish of that colour wasn't spotted; I mean, after all, he is fluoro pink. After checking the coast was clear, Bruce leaned over the wharf edge to see hundreds of rusty cans sinking towards the sandy bottom of the underground lake. A few minutes of awkward silence passed and Bruce left the cave. He continued on to Kelp for a late night meal, and to his surprise he was greeted by a waiter dressed in a maroon coat with a green bowtie before taking his seat. The waiter had no idea that Bruce had seen him earlier, and let's hope he never finds out, but then Bruce himself doesn't have a clue what he has unearthed, though many of his companions at the table that night did. After hearing this astounding story, I was of course shocked, as I expect you are, but that wasn't the end of my remarkable discoveries that night.

Later that night I was called into the kitchen to start washing the dishes before returning to my empty apartment. As I walked into the kitchen and began filling the sink with water, I noticed a can sitting on the bench top. I didn't have much time to read the label, as an enraged cook quickly snatched it and hid it in his apron pocket, but what I managed to read shocked me. Apparently, the "fresh" oyster appetiser at Kelp (one of the most popular dishes) is not actually fresh. They are actually canned oysters! Who would have guessed? Certainly not myself, or the customers at Kelp, and due to the popularity of the dish, Kelp must have used hundreds of cans to keep up with the demand of fresh oysters!

Still, I can't stop wondering how they have managed to sell more than 17 million cans worth of oysters, as that is an amazingly large number of oysters even for such a popular restaurant! Though I guess we will never know the answer to that question... Yet after reading this, you must be thinking that the residents of Maraqua and visitors must love their oysters a little too much, to have eaten that many since the restaurant opened. That, true as it is, isn't the only reason for that many cans. The company who makes the canned oysters, Seafood Delight, has been known to only fill their cans half full. Yet another mystery is why they can't fill them fully.

In cracking this mystery I have discovered even more mysterious things, hopefully I will be able to unearth the cause of them as well. Though I hope that after reading all this researched information, Neopians will reduce the amount of oysters they eat. This has been another mystery cracked by secret reporter Lucy; keep posted for more mysteries revealed in future issues.

Search the Neopian Times

Great stories!


Don't Let This Be Our Last Adventure
"Piracy. You and I... we've been doing this long enough I think..." Has Garin really had enough of being a pirate?

by peroxwhy_gen


Sloth's Plan
The paper, the wind and the destiny of Neopia.

by ladyxzeus


Leaves of Wisdom
He did not... no, he could not know everything!

by starlight_dancer7


Mutant Pets: Good, not Evil
I'll be interviewing mutants, non-mutants, and former mutants on their views on this issue.

by phonics21354

Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.