The Inside Story of the Rock

Picture this: You and your pets are strolling along in *INSERT WORLD HERE* when you are absentmindedly kicking your feet upwards for some strange unknown reason, and suddenly your foot goes smack bang onto something solid and the object goes falling through the air and crashes heavily to the ground. It doesn't sound like an ordinary thing you find when you go walking. It's a petpet rock.

Yes, it may seem like rocks are plain and ordinary petpets, but let me assure you, they are much more than that. Because of the lack of knowledge users have for these err... delightful creatures, I have spent some of my Neopian life researching them.

In case nobody here knows what a pet rock is (which some do not because they are particularly good at Hide and Seek), they are a petpet. The most normal colored rock is grey with a few dents here and there. For some reason, they actually have a face (two strokes and a line). NOTE: If ever in doubt, never go trust the TNT learn to draw section for the pet rock.

Now, something that has utterly amazed me is that people think rocks are just, well... rocks. But look beneath the rough surface... they are much more. Pet rocks like to spend their time sitting still, watching, not talking and funny enough playing. After observing rocks for quite a few weeks now, I have finally managed to write up a time table of what an average rock does every day.

7:00 am NST- Wake up, wait for owner to wake up

7:30 am NST- Is force fed by their owners

8:00 am NST- Sits in the sun

8:30 am NST- Continues to sit in the sun

9:00 am NST- Shuffles over into the shade

10:00 am NST- Sits in the shade

10:30 am-12:00 NST- Sits in the shade

12:30 NST- Prepares to be force fed lunch

1:00 pm NST- Is force fed lunch

1:30 pm- 3:30 pm NST- Plays Hide and Seek with owner (they are very good at camouflaging... especially on Mystery Island)

3:30 pm- 5:00 pm NST- Tries to find its way back to owner (owner gave up searching ages ago)

5:30 pm NST- Watches the grass move

6:00 pm NST- Force fed dinner

6:30 pm NST- Sits and watches moon and stars

7:00 pm- 8:30 pm NST- Sits, watching for signs of Dr. Sloth returning

9:00 pm- Goes to sleep

10:00 pm NST- Woken up for midnight snack

Yes, that's what an average rock does all day, but let me assure you, on special days they do special things. On these 'special days' the rocks change their time table slightly. This is what will happen.

Birthday- When it's someone's birthday, the rock climbs up to the roof top in the kitchen or dining and waits for the cake to be brought in and when 'Hip hip hooray' is said, the rock jumps off from the room and splatters onto the cake.

Christmas- The rock is painted Christmas via the petpet puddle then hides under the Christmas tree and watches for the Santa Pet to arrive. When he arrives, the camouflaged rock jumps out and sneaks into the gift bag, which then follows a ride through the night with Santa in his sleigh then splattering onto the Christmas presents under the tree.

Halloween- The rock is painted Halloween via the petpet puddle then when trick or treaters come, it splatters into the pets' trick or treat bag and eats all the candy. o.o

Easter- The rock splatters into chocolate and eats all the Easter eggs before the Easter egg hunt begins.

Petpet Appreciation Day- The rock smiles and acts innocent while its owners splatter into everything that belongs to the rock.

Okay, the rock doesn't sound very sweet splattering into everything it gets in its sights on but that's mainly what it does. Now don't get the wrong impression of them, they can be very sweet as well. Here are some of the things I have caught rocks doing for their beloved owners.

1) Messy Art. The rock had rolled itself into some sort of... paste and rolled all over the garden to spell the words 'I LOVE YOU'; well, that's what the owner thought because it looked a bit like 'I OLVE YOU'.

2) Helping Owners- A few times, owners have rushed trying to get through a door before it closes, but their little rocks roll as fast as they can and slide into the gap and hold the door open.

3) Petpet racing. This is a famous sport for some pets and racing may seem hard for a rock but it isn't. Well, when it's downhill racing it's not! A special rock (which doesn't want to be named in case it causes great celebrity status) has won the race 10 years in a row!

4) When rocks are bored, they make great garden decorations

Now reading this article, don't you just want to go out and buy one? Well, you really should consider. These wonderful little petpets all need a home... no one really can understand them. Give them a chance (they are around 99,999 NP) and you'll see how great and um, playful they are.

Here's a little care guide in case you do choose one as your future petpet.

What to do to keep your rock happy:

1) Please do not graffiti or draw on your PET rock.

2) Learn the skills of force feeding your rock 5 crumbs of bread for each meal.

3) Leave it in a bowl of water for 10 minutes (fill it to 1/3 the rock's body).

4) Let your rock stay in the sun for at least 5 hours a day.

5) Do not leave your rock in your backyard at night! It's scary for them.

6) Try not to leave your rock alone for too long - pets tend to find that they are really good weapons e.g. slingshot bullets.

7) Love your rock!

8) Don't cheat when playing Hide and Seek (like rolling your rock in paint beforehand so you can follow the trail etc.).

9) Wash your rock two times a week (warm water).

10) Don't leave them alone in Tyrannia. (I'm serious, Grarrls and Skeiths use them as catapult missiles there.)

They are rather nice to hug, solid and smooth and slick... if they haven't been in the backyard for the whole night. Rocks tend to get all stiff and cold and have icicles stuck to them if they are...

Thank you for taking your time understanding about rocks. The rocks also really appreciate it. I hope it has changed your mind so that next time you go walking through Neopia... watch your step!

PS I would love to thank all the rocks which allowed me to follow them for a long time to gather enough information about them.