30 Gross Foods for a Terrible Party

     I have put together a list of the thirty grossest foods that will keep your guests from wanting seconds. That is, if they even show up at all once they hear of this horrifying menu. So take heed! Or take notes. Depending on who you are inviting to this gathering.

     Wiggling Grub Surprise

     The surprise is your horror!

     Chocolate Covered Onion

     Chocolate makes everything better! Unless it’s a raw onion. No sugar coating that. Or chocolate coating that. Even though you did put chocolate on it?

     Coconut Ketchup Stew

     Cracking open a coconut is difficult, but often rewarding. But why you would want to pour hot ketchup into that is beyond me. You go through all that work just to ruin it? Talk about poor payoff.

     Blueberry Beetle Cracker

     The crackers are probably fine on their own, but topping them with a live bug is a little horrifying. But maybe if you’re lucky, the beetle will just walk away, leaving you with the cracker. Of course, you don't know what the beetle left on the cracker for you. Maybe it's best you don't ask too many questions.

     Dr. Backwash

     Putting the word “doctor” in it doesn’t help – this is just someone else’s spit in a bottle. And, quite frankly, I don't think he is a real doctor either. You might want to contact the Neopian Medical Board over this if you end up with it.

     Strawberry Ice Cream with Balsamic Vinegar Syrup

     Strawberry ice cream is good. Balsamic vinegar with strawberries are good. But just because strawberries can go well with both on their own doesn’t mean all three should meet up like this. It's too many sensations.

     Scab Cake

     A freshly picked scab between two victoria sponge. You can get it extra crusty or extra gooey if you ask. Just make sure the chef has been outside recently for that extra spice.

     Ant Soup

     Not sure what kind of broth it is, but those chunks floating around are kind of wiggly on their way down.

     Ham and Hair Sandwich

     Even if you could get beyond the toupee in the middle, the unknown slimy green substance on top is unsettling. Or was it there before it was handed out? Hard to tell.

     Delectable Mould Garden

     Mushrooms are fungus, everyone knows this. But this takes it a step too far for me. Let's dial it back a little on our trip to the forest.

     Jellied Eggs

     Everyone loves deviled eggs. No one likes ummagine jam in place of the regular filling, however. This jam belongs with peanut butter, and the eggs belong with each other.

     Ketchup-Flavoured Milk

     Mixing ketchup in your favourite milk or milk alternative? Sounds… great. Although it would be a great prank on April Fools' Day if you put it in a strawberry container. That's a lot of work for such little payoff, though. Definitely not what we want for a party either way.

     Chewed Gum Ice Cream Cone

     Ice cream with gum in it is a delicious treat. But when it is pre-chewed? It’s a little suspicious. Would this even pass a health inspection under these conditions?

     Fantastic Fly Pie

     Adding “fantastic” to something doesn’t make it so. This is a big bowl of flies. Some may even still be alive and after the other food on the table.

     Cheese Covered Caramel Apple

     Sweet and savoury is quite popular… but cheese and caramel? Slathered on an apple? Maybe not that.

     Mac and Cheese Ice Cream

     “No dessert until you finish your dinner” has never been more of a threat. Maybe it's okay I go to bed hungry.

     Toe Nail Soup

     Crunchy yet chewy and a hint of cheese. This soup has everything. Perhaps too much even.

     Eyeball Sushi

     Sushi is a delicacy of many cultures. But leaving in the eyeballs so it can watch you while you eat it? Not eyedeal.

     Corn and Jelly Ball

     Corn is good, jelly is good. But combining the two? Maybe. Maybe not. Depends on the flavor of jelly I suppose. Definitely not a sweet one. Maybe pumpkin for a nice fall vibe? Oh, I'm getting off track. This is supposed to be bad!

     Maggot Pizza

     The only way to make pizza gross is to add anchovies. Or pineapple. Or maggots. So I guess there are a few ways.

     Dung Cream Sandwich

     This cold stinky pile of dung will not make you feel better on a hot summer day. It will probably make you worse.

     Hot Dog Flavoured Yogurt

     Yogurt can come in many flavours, and hot dogs can have many toppings. But yogurt shouldn’t come in hot dog and hot dogs shouldn’t be topped with yogurt.

     Peanut Butter and Jelly Egg Cabbage

     Peanut butter… nice. Jelly… great. Egg… fantastic. Cabbage… tasty. Wait, what do you mean all together? You've lost me again.

     Ketchup Caramel Squid Delight

     Blending calamari and ketchup? Not too terrible for those with less refined palettes. But topping it with caramel? You may have gone too far.

     Smoked Tuna on Chocolate Toast

     Chocolate toast is its own nightmare but then adding smoked tuna? Multiple competing flavors.

     Peaburger Delight

     Not sure this is the future vegetarians wanted.

     Worm Infested Cheese

     A surprise that no one wants.

     French Flies

     Chips, fries, whatever you call them… they are delicious. Dipped in ketchup, ranch, or something more sinister: flies.

     Chocolate Beef Custard

     Many love beef. It’s in a lot of food for carnivores. But blending it with chocolate and topping it with whipped cream? That seems like a recipe for nausea.

     Strawberry and Cream Fish Pop

     A fish pop is gross enough, but making it taste like strawberry and cream? Dinner and dessert all in one, but not in a good way.

     Well, that's it. I hope you didn't lose your appetite too much. But now at least you know how not to host a dinner party.