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My name’s Zach. I’m a Darigan Ixi. I happen to have one
older sister, Dark_Lira, or Lira. (That’s Miss LYE-RAH to you. She doesn’t like
it mispronounced.) Lira is a Grey Wocky, but she’s quite bubbly. She speaks in
a drawling country accent sometimes, but everyone knows it’s fake. She’s also
not that much older than me, (3 months), but she loves to capitalize on this difference.
I also have one younger sister, Natasha, but she doesn’t bear any influence on
the story. One petpet Drackobunny, Safsaf. I go to a mediocre school that serves
revolting lunches and employs tedious teachers. We recently had our house destroyed
by some fault of Illusen’s, but had it rebuilt soon enough. But anyway.
Today, at school, a crime was committed. Now
stop looking at me like that, it’s not like my school is located in an extremely
bad part of Neopia. No, it wasn’t a felony, nor a misdemeanor.
You see, over the past few weeks, things have
been steadily disappearing from desks and backpacks. Garrett lost one of his
pens. Ryan came in from recess and found that his eraser was missing. Mandelini’s
best notebook disappeared, along with three months of algebra notes! And almost
everyone had had their food pilfered by an irksome lunchbox thief. I was mad,
but not mad enough to do anything about it. The victims had gone to Mr. Cynamaun
already, but he hadn’t done anything about it either. I kept an indifferent
attitude toward the purloining.
But that all changed when my pencil box disappeared.
I mean, REALLY! One or two pencils I might have
overlooked, but a whole pencil box, full of things I NEEDED? No way! I had some
Neopoints saved up in a sack in my room, and I began to devise a plan.
* * *
Of course, Lira and I, being about the same age, were in the same class. She
hadn’t been a victim of the thievery yet, but sure enough, the next day, she
came home complaining that her pencil box was also gone. I followed her up to
her bedroom, and slipped inside. Lira looked up from her seat on the sofa by
the window, and put down the magazine she was reading.
“What’dya want, Zach?” she drawled in a monotone.
“Listen,” I said, “I need to talk to you about
the stealing that’s been going on.”
Lira’s shoulders seemed to straighten up a bit,
and she motioned for me to take the seat across the coffee table from her. I
did.
“You were stolen from, right? Well, guess what.
So was I. And I think I know how to catch the thief in the act.”
Lira perked up a whole lot more, and her dark
purple wings flapped a little. “Really? How? Tell me! When I find them I’m gunna-”
Lira made a violent motion in midair. I smiled.
“No way. Remember last time?” I asked, recalling
the time she had punched a Skeith for speaking impudently to her. The enormous
thing SAT on her! Her slight frame was almost crushed by his colossal girth.
A vessel of Essence of Everlasting Apple had cured her of fighting forever.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. But it makes me
so MAD! I had my best pens, pencils, even that eraser that I had to camp out
in the school supplies store for. It’s just not fair!”
“You’re telling me! Do you know how much that
Lord Kass set COST!?”
“But anyway. What’s your plan?” Lira asked.
“Well. Remember that time I got a job for Jeran?”
“Ohhh, yeah! You had to wear that stupid outfit
that made you look like a two-week old and pass out Giant Spyder Awareness Flyers
at the Meridell Common. Hehe, I still have pictures of that...”
“Ummm, yeah. Anyway, the point is, it earned
good Neopoints. I didn’t spend those, you know.”
“So?” she asked, frowning.
“Soooo,” I said, “We could use the Neopoints
to buy something new, something that this kleptomaniac won’t be able to pass
up. Then, we’ll station ourselves in the classroom while everyone is at recess,
and catch whoever it is red-handed!”
Lira frowned. “But I have stuff to do at recess.
Like hang out, you know?”
I probably would have turned purple, if it weren't
for the fact that I already was. I compensated for this horrible injustice by
taking a large gulp of the cherry juice that I keep on me all the time and spit-spraying
it in Lira’s face.
My sister looked at me with a placidly furious
expression that I had only seen on her once in my life, and that was immediately
before she had performed a terrific impression of a volcano. (The fact that
she had been painted Fire at that time probably helped.)
“Rrright. Sorry. Wipe face, rub back, feed grapes,
anything more, your highness?”
“Actually, now you’re just getting on my nerves,”
said Lira, pushing me away with one paw. “But I do like this idea you have.
Forget what I said. Count me in.”
* * *
“Now. Lira, if you could have anything in Neopia right now, what would it be?”
“A ticket to Kreludor.”
Do you see what I have to put up with?
“Li-raaa. We have to get the item TODAY. I’ve
been poring over “Uni Girl” magazines and “Wild Rumpus” catalogues for days,
but all I’ve figured out is that the Red Racing bike gets better air than the
black one and that gold blush is the new pink lipstick.”
“Well, THAT can’t exactly come in handy-”
“I’m glad we’re beginning to see eye to eye on
this issue, Sis.”
“-because gold will TOTALLY make those of us
with darker complexions look like Bozo the Quiggle Clown.”
“Gee, thanks for your input.”
“Any time, little brother.”
Lira and I, not speaking, entered the Shop Wizard’s
building. We saw the Wizard sitting behind a desk, wheezing at a Pink Uni.
As we approached the desk, the geriatric Jubjub
smiled and said in a croaky voice, “Ah! Young ‘uns! What can I do for you, my
dears?”
“Can you run a search on mechanical pencils,
please?” asked Lira.
“Stencils? We haven’t had any of those in a long
time, a very long time... Let me see..”
“I said PENCIL, not STENCIL!” yelled Lira, adding
under her breath, “Moron.”
“Lentils, you say? Well, we have some nice Lentil
pasties at a few shops... hmmm, if I can just reach those papers..”
“Oh, forget it,” sighed Lira, and turned to leave.
“Slorgs? Will those be regular, pink, blue, Faerie,
or something else?”
Lira turned back at him. “Pink,” she said simply,
and then grabbed me and walked away, dragging me behind her. We heard a thump
behind us and I turned and saw that the Shop Wizard had gotten tangled in his
cape. His cap had fallen down over his eyes and he had landed on the floor.
I tried to suppress my laughter, but, I’m afraid, a few giggles escaped. (And
of course, for a male Darigan Ixi, giggling is not exactly a terrifically dignified
thing to do.)
Once we were out of the building, I turned to
Lira. “Way to go, genius,” I said. “The Shop Wizard’s deaf and now, possibly
crippled. And, you might have hurt his feelings.”
“Oh, yeah right,” she said. “Like that old crumpet
could have heard a single thing I said. Besides, there are other ways of obtaining
a ridiculously expensive purple mechanical pencil.”
“There are?”
“Of course. It’s called the black market.”
“Um, excuse me if I’m wrong, but I sincerely
doubt that a costly writing tool is a very hot item.”
“You’d be surprised.”
Lira led the way to a cavern in the Catacombs.
She knocked three times on the door and a dark-haired girl poked her head out.
“Lira!- I mean, password?”
Lira sighed. “Vina, you just said my NAME.”
Vina shook her head. “Password?”
“Fine. Cheesy Weewoo. Happy?”
Vina smiled. “Come on in. Staying long?”
“Sorry, I can’t today. This is about the you-know-what
for the you-know-who at the you-know-where.”
Vina led us into a shadowy room filled with cushy
armchairs and people. LOTS of people. I recognized some of my favorite celebrities,
but before I could whip out a paper and pen, Lira had dragged me away, hissing
something that sounded vaguely like “Don’t... embarrass... me” in my
ear
We arrived in an even darker room where people
walked around the floor, advertising items for sale and offering to trade beauty
contest votes. Vina opened a drawer and pulled out a purple mechanical pencil.
I took a sack of Neopoints out of my pocket, and we traded at just the same
moment.
“Pleasure doing business with you,” said Lira.
“Same here,” remarked Vina. “You sure you can’t
stay for a cup of Pinanna Cappuccino?”
“I wish I could,” lamented Lira, “but since I
have Zach with me...”
“Oh yes,” said Vina. “See you tonight then.”
As we exited the Catacombs, my eyes were unaccustomed
to the bright light in Neopia Central. I asked Lira, “Why was it so dark in
there?”
“Well, that IS why they call it the BLACK market,
you know.”
* * *
When we got to school on Monday I was extremely excited. Lira and I had decided
to both hide in the classroom during morning recess. Lira had stopped at the
bakery on the way to school and purchased a large, sweet cake that she was going
to say would be for dessert at lunch.
As soon as I entered the classroom and had my
things put away, I took out the pencil and started to boast.
“Look at this new pencil I just got! It cost
two whole month’s allowance-” -I wasn’t about to tell anyone about that job-
“-and it’s brand new! The eraser retracts and it’s very, very cool! If I weren’t
me, I would definitely want it very badly!” I knew I sounded kind of fake, but
if it did the trick...
Across the room, Lira was also playing up the
good aspects of her scrumptious dessert.
“It’s really creamy, and really sugary, and VERY
sweet. Mmm, I can’t wait to take that first bite at lunchtime...”
Lira looked across the room, and winked at me.
I winked back. Our plan had been put into action.
Finally, finally, FINALLY the bell rang
for recess. I went into the coat closet and closed the door just to the point
where I could see out, but nobody could see in. I heard Lira speaking outside,
explaining to the teacher that she had left something inside and she had to
get it. Then I heard her enter the room and Mr. Cynamaun left.
Lira took her spot underneath the teacher’s desk
and not thirty seconds afterwards, we heard someone else enter the room. I peeked
out and my eyeballs nearly fell out of my head.
The pet standing over my desk, stuffing the pencil
into her jacket pocket, was none other that LiAnne- a beautiful Pink Uni and
one of the most popular students in the class. She was charismatic, graceful,
and gorgeous.
I hated her.
Anyway, I watched LiAnne shove the pencil into
the outside pocket of her coat, and then move to Lira’s desk. Just as she was
about to take a bite of the cake, Lira and I sprung out from our respective
hiding places.
LiAnne was shocked. Her eyes grew wide and her
mouth dropped open. “I-I- d-d-don’t-” she sputtered.
“Oh, I think you’ve explained quite enough. After
all, as the horrible cliché goes, actions do speak louder than
words.”
LiAnne was quiet for a second, but the next,
she exploded.
“UGH! I JUST CAN’T STAND YOU TWO! THE PERFECT
BROTHER AND PERFECT SISTER, ALWAYS DOING THE RIGHT THING! YOU GUYS ARE
SUCH JERKS!
I moved, but Lira was faster. Quick as the flash
of light from the Lab Ray, she grabbed one of LiAnne’s legs and flipped her
into the air. I gaped at my sister’s athletic prowess, as did LiAnne. Lira pinned
LiAnne to the floor and said, “You’ve been stealing stuff from everybody the
past few weeks. Do you deny it?”
LiAnne gasped and said “No.. I don’t... but just
let me explain...”
Lira nodded and said, “I’m listening.” She got
up from where she was crouched on the floor and stood, paws crossed, next to
me.
Of course, that was the moment that Mr. Cynamaun
chose to enter the room.
* * *
I guess, on reflection, that it did not look like a terrific scene: LiAnne
with a shocked face, Lira, arms crossed and a closed-mouth, proud smile on hers,
and me, with what I imagine to be a rather befuddled expression on mine. Luckily,
Lira happens to be the teacher’s pet, and was able to explain rather well what
was happening. LiAnne was immediately sent to the principal’s office. I guess
that she was suspended for a few days, but the next week, she was back, and
things started disappearing again.
I guess some people just never learn...
The End
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