The Limbo Queen Versus The Self-Proclaimed Limbo King
Borovan slicked back his dirty blond locks, slipping
an extremely nifty pair of sunglasses on in between his ears (but he would never
say “nifty”—that was just such a grandma-like word… So we’ll start over.)
Borovan slicked back his dirty blond locks, slipping
an extremely cool pair of sunglasses on in between his absolutely perfect ears
(hey, why not add something to confirm the fact that Borovan is one hundred
percent good-looking? Great-looking, even). His lips lifted from an impeccable
set of pearly gnashers, and he pushed back the dark lenses in an incredibly
good-looking way. Giving a devilish, good-looking wink, the good-looking young
man slid (very attractively, mind you) under the limbo bar. The not-so-good-looking
crowds burst into admiring applause (but were they clapping on his mad skills,
or his mad handsomeness?).
Borovan tossed his gorgeous tresses, waving to
the squealing young female Neopets and their glowing Owners. Even the guys were
cheering—Boro was an awesome limbo-er, and a fantastically charming character.
Only one girl was not screaming in support and affection. One very pretty girl.
An Aisha, she was. And not an unknown-loner-in-the-corner type of Aisha. She
was actually quite a bit more known than our dazzling protagonist. Unfortunately,
she was not infamous for something she’d done—more like something that, so many
years ago, she had been unable to do.
Kyishi. The Queen of Limbo. What rage and shame
she’d had to put up with at the Gadgadsbogen limbo competition such a long while
back. Now, she had returned. And she wasn’t going to put up with oily amateurs
who only go to contests to flaunt their looks. Anyways, she didn’t really think
he was that handsome. Not really. Only sort of a little bit. But don’t tell
anyone. She’d get mad.
Anyhow, the emerald-skinned Aisha looked on with
mounting disdain as the absolutely strapping (don’t tell Borovan that I said
that—he’d think it was too uncool) young fellow actually stripped out from his
black leather jacket, took off his shirt, and started flexing his muscles!
Of all the things one could do to disgrace the name of limbo, this was up there
with saying that Morguss created it. He was flashing his teeth, perfect, sapphire
spheres hypnotizing the spectators… When he saw her.
Borovan went slack-jawed as his eyes met Kyishi’s,
and he flexed his biceps extra hard—just for her. Admiration bubbled in his
blood: this Aisha was going to fall in love with him, no matter what he had
to do. He smoothed his hair, and took long, slow strides towards her. She’d
take him in an instant. She’d fall into his arms and cry joyous tears. Borovan
leaned close to her face, his breath hot. She’d…
SMACK! A rock-hard paw whipped the adolescent
in the face, sending his body careering backwards, until he lay, utterly stunned,
on the sandy ground. His eyes screwed up, and he brushed off his bare, ripped
“What?” asked Borovan, obviously not comprehending.
“What just happened? Did you… Did you..”
“I slapped you, you greasy Snorkle,” snapped
Kyishi, absolutely disgusted with the boy. “You’re lucky I didn’t try to severely
injure you and your idiotic head.”
Borovan massaged his cheek ruefully. “I’ve never
been slapped before. Ever. I’ve always been the one on the sidelines, watching
ugly people get slapped.” It took more than a moment for him to regain his composure,
and the stands had erupted in laughter. The girls were glaring at Kyishi; the
guys were laughing openly, happy to see the show-off rejected by the one girl
that he wanted.
Kyishi rolled her eyes, and, with a deft kick,
engulfed Borovan’s leather jacket in hot sand. “This is no game, grease-ball.
This isn’t Babaa’s-play. This is real. This is my life. I’m not going to let
some chunk of greasy grease try and seduce me. You idiot.” Borovan blinked.
She thought he wanted her to lose? There was only one option, then: he mustn’t
let her win.
The spectators were roaring for more limboing
to be done with. Kyishi tossed her jade tresses, and narrowed her eyes in concentration.
She practically glided towards the bar, back bent so much that her hair brushed
the sand… The rod was ever closer, she was ready, she was confident…
“Y’know, I really am a nice guy,” Borovan yelled,
side-stepping to block Kyishi’s way under the pole. “I can buy you flowers,
and chocolate, and do a bunch of romantic stuff that girls like. I like walking
down the beach at sunset, in bare feet, and having bubble baths, and being a
really sensitive, sweet guy who can make you feel good about yourself, and tell
you you’re pretty every day of the week. You wouldn’t slap me then.”
He looked up from under his long eyelashes and into her aggravated face—he was
outright challenging her to give him a chance.
“I don’t care if you’re as handsome as Chet
Flash himself—just MOVE.” But Borovan would not. His lip quivered, his eyes
doubled in size, a lock of hair drooped beside his cheek. And do you know what
he did then? He moaned. He moaned like a little whining Puppyblew, whose Owner
had decided to sell him. He moaned like baby Lupe who was hungry and thirsty
and had to go to the bathroom—all at the same time. He whimpered and whined
and sniveled. And Kyishi burst out in a fit of sniggers.
“Oh, you’re just too much! Are you some kind
of cheesy joke? With your white teeth, and your square jaw! Somebody, alert
the media! There’s a mindless clone of the perfect man running around Neopia,
and he doesn’t know how to act around female Neopets!” She giggled and snorted
and chucked and guffawed and chortled, and made every weird kind of wheezing
sound that’s possible to make without passing out. Borovan raised his eyebrow.
“Does that mean you like me?”
But that just made situations worse. Kyishi’s
knees buckled, and she collapsed on the ground, rivers of hoots and cackled
careening from her wide open mouth. Tears dribbled from her eyes as she rolled
and kicked out in complete, overwhelming amusement.
“You ARE joking, right?” she choked, barely
managing to say anything at all through her gasping laughter. Borovan cocked
his head, completely puzzled.
“Why would I be joking? Hey… Do you not think
I’m an okay guy or something?” And Kyishi erupted in yet another bout of snickering,
the surrounding crowd joining in on her crowing. Borovan stood stationary, not
knowing what was going on. What was going on? “…You don’t like me, do
you?! Why didn’t you just say so, then?!?! That’s so… So MEAN. I don’t know
how I can ever forgive you! That’s it, sister! You’ve lost your chances with
So the self-proclaimed “Boroster” snatched his
leather coat from the sand, and stomped off into the horizon. And, if you’re
ever wandering aimlessly near said horizon, don’t be surprised if you bump into
a hopelessly lost young man, who doesn’t quite understand the possibility that
someone wasn’t entranced by his good looks.
Author’s Note: I’m sure NO ONE could resist Adam’s charms. ^_~
This story is, from the deepest depths of my heart [insert sappiness here],
dedicated to none other than the extremely famous Buddifer, Bude, Buddy33774.
XD He's teh r0XX0rz. This was originally written about him, not Adam. xP Anyways,
don't worry-- we're actually friends. I'm not just some loser raving fan girl
who writes stories about other people. ... Or AM I?!