A Waffle Paradise Circulation: 171,606,722 Issue: 178 | 18th day of Awakening, Y7
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Horrors of the Bathroom


by precious_katuch14

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"What is it?"

     "It looks like some kind of Halloween prop. Is it Halloween already?"

     "No, you dork. It's February! Besides, Kat knows what she's doing…right?"

     Four pets were in a bathroom with their owner, all staring at a weird new toilet their owner acquired for a bargain. Apparently these days, Kat was very interested in finding stuff for lower prices…and her pets obviously didn't like the new addition to their Neohome.

     "The name fits the item," said Fluffy the white Aisha. "Spooky Toilet." Sure enough, she and her siblings could see that the horrible gray and black toilet did not only have huge teeth that displayed themselves when anyone raised the cover, but also horrible red lips that did not complement the creepy aura emanating from the thing.

     Angel hid behind his owner. "It's evil," he whispered. "I don't like it."

     "Come on, guys," said Kat earnestly. "Now how bad can it be? It's not like it will drown, bite or smite us, right? It's just a toilet!"

     The split Poogle behind her whimpered, "Yeah, it might eat us!"

     ***

     Five minutes later, Glitter looked up from where she was reading the latest issue of the Neopian Times. The faerie Acara stood up and hovered towards the door of the bathroom. She turned the knob gently and found herself staring at a normal-looking ensemble…normal except for the Spooky Toilet.

     "Well, it doesn't hurt to try, right?" she said to herself, lifting the lid. It looked like a huge ugly mouth waiting to swallow up the next one who'd sit on it. Glitter saw a small ripple in the pool of water move gently. She thought nothing of it, until the water slowly began to swirl. The Acara was mesmerized by the flow at first, until the toilet began to shake.

     She gasped and backed away towards the wall in horror. "What's going on?" she whispered, as if talking to the toilet itself. The rattling caused some water droplets to rise and drop, causing Glitter to panic even more. She zoomed out of the bathroom in fright, and back into the living room, crashing into her older brother Sweet on the sofa.

     "Glitter, what has gotten into you?" he asked as the faerie Acara toppled on him, causing the Kacheek to drop the action figure he'd been playing with a few moments ago.

     "Toilet…possessed…undead…ALIVE!" she managed to choke out. Sweet's younger sister was shivering violently and her eyes had a haunted look in them.

     Immediately Sweet pushed Glitter aside and picked up his Lost Desert Dagger. "I knew that thing was trouble," he said grimly. "Come on."

     He and the faerie Acara tiptoed closer to the dreaded bathroom. The striped Kacheek slowly approached the door and turned the knob gingerly. At last they were in, and Sweet raised his weapon for defense, bracing for the kill.

     "Do you see it?" asked Glitter, who was cowering behind her brother.

     Sweet turned to her. "It's all right, sis. Your stupid imagination just went wild, that's all…as usual…"

     The Acara rounded on him. "But I didn't imagine it! It really happened!"

     "Yeah, it did, all right. It happened in your mind!" The Kacheek started to laugh. "Oh, Glitter, how wild can your imagination get? That toilet wouldn't hurt a Buzzer! Besides, I think I'm going to like it because it's so handy for scaring cowardly little sisters!"

     She opened her mouth again to complain, but closed it instantly as she glanced at the Spooky Toilet. "Uh, Sweet…" she began.

     "What, is the bathtub going to come alive and take us for a spin around the block?" he said mockingly. "Come now, bathroom stuff will never - "

     He was interrupted by a loud rumbling sound. The floor underneath his feet began to shake violently. The toilet began emitting gurgling sounds and the water seemed to bubble up from within.

     "This is not good," said Sweet, his eyes focused on the turbulent toilet. "Maybe it wasn't your imagination after all, Glitter - "

     "OF COURSE IT WASN'T!" she yelled, hovering as far as possible from the spooky thing. "Now what do we do, genius?"

     He drew the Lost Desert Dagger. "I say we fight it!" He jammed his weapon straight down into the swirling waters and the gurgling ceased. Sweet exchanged a look with Glitter as the tremors stopped as well.

     "Did we win?" she asked sheepishly, looking at the dagger in the toilet.

     Suddenly growling came from nowhere. She and the striped Kacheek stared at the trembling toilet. The water began bubbling around Sweet's prized possession and started to very closely resemble a fountain. They were too struck dumb to move.

     And before they could even think of moving, a huge jet of water shot right out, like being fired from a cannon. Glitter screamed, and Sweet pushed her away from the flowing rage of the toilet.

     "It's after us! Don't let it take me!" she cried.

     "We're not going to let it take anyone!" her brother yelled as it spewed another burst of bubbling water, so that the floor was now an inch flooded. He grabbed the Acara's paw and ran out of the door. They found Angel the Poogle and Fluffy standing right there.

     "We thought we heard noises," explained the white Aisha. "So Angel and I decided to investigate."

     "Quit investigating and help us stop the bathroom menace Kat bought for a bargain!" shouted Glitter, pointing to it, which was now blasting more water jets like a timed fountain. It was trembling again, and so was the bathroom floor.

     Angel shuddered. "What do we do?"

     "Maybe we should plug it!" said Fluffy.

     "Tried it…with my poor Lost Desert Dagger," moaned Sweet as he got sprayed with the toilet's wet ammo.

     The Poogle's face fell. "But most toilets hate getting plugged up!" he said loudly, over the howl of the wind that began to blow into the window. "And now we're getting special effects along with the obnoxious thing from someone's bargain store!"

     "Maybe we need a different approach," said Glitter. "Should we take Sweet's dagger out?"

     "YOU do it!" said Angel, watching the toilet belch again.

     "Fine!" The Acara stepped forward, breathed a bit, and plunged her paw into the bowl. She began to tug with both paws, with Sweet grabbing at her waist. Soon the weapon was out of the crossfire and back in the Kacheek's grip.

     "What's next?" asked Sweet. "Everything's trembling, windy, wet and that toilet won't stop making its impersonation of a fountain!"

     Fluffy gasped. "Fountain…fountain…THAT'S IT! Sweet, grab your old Kacheek Extinguisher! It can attack with fire, right? Good! Now, go!" At her words he waded over to the door and shut it before the hallway got flooded as well.

     Glitter turned to her older sister. "But what do we do now? We're left here with a mutated bathroom necessity that will drown us in minutes if we don't do anything!" A huge spout of water emanated from the bowl and fell, splashing them all before she could finish her sentence.

     Angel kicked the toilet. It spit up a smaller jet and drenched the Poogle. He hopped up and down on one foot and muttered, "Well, that didn't work, but it works if you want some pain in your toe." Fluffy and Glitter traded a look.

     "We're doomed," declared the faerie Acara, flopping down onto the flooded floor. "I can't go for help through that window, it's too small."

     "We don't have to," said the white Aisha. "Because we've got Sweet! He's back!"

     The three siblings saw their big brother run in with a bright red weapon in his paws and yell, "This toilet's going down in two shakes of a Goldy's tail!" The striped Kacheek directed the nozzle of the extinguisher towards the bowl, where the water was still slopping and churning wildly. It made Sweet a little sick to watch the turbulent little ocean within, but he flipped the switch and let loose with a blast of fire.

     Angel let out a big whoop. "Go Sweet! That thing doesn't have a chance!"

     Glitter nodded and added, "I just hope he knows what he's doing."

     The trio watched in amazement and trepidation as the spout of water slowly died down. Even the quakes and wind came to a screeching halt as the Kacheek continued blasting the toilet with the weapon. However, it was the toilet that had begun to shake as the violent waters calmed. Fluffy quickly pulled Sweet away from the trembling horror.

     "I think it's going to blow!" yelled the white Aisha.

     "Take cover!" added Glitter, hopping into the bathtub and covering her ears. Sweet and Fluffy backed away against the dripping wall, and Angel scrambled under the sink, shivering with fright.

     With a deafening, shattering noise, the toilet exploded, sending water everywhere. Surprisingly, instead of flying bits and pieces from the aftermath, the nervous, frightened pets saw a pile of wet gray ashes, still smoking slightly.

     Everyone's mouths hung open at the sight. "Is it safe?" whimpered Angel, crawling out from his hiding place. "It could suddenly eat us up!"

     "Get real, ashes can't eat stuff!" said Fluffy, walking over and bending over the remains of the horrific incident in the bathroom.

     "What's going on? Why are you all in the - hey! Why is everyone and everything dripping wet?" Kat peeked inside and stared, wide-eyed at the state of the bathroom, her pets and the new toilet.

     "It tried to attack us!" cried Angel, running and throwing his paws around his owner's knees. "We stopped it and now the toilet's all in ashes!"

     "Have your imaginations been running loose again?" asked the girl, her eyes shifting from Glitter and Fluffy, to Sweet and his two weapons.

     "But - " the faerie Acara began.

     "Kat - " added the white Aisha.

     Their owner shook her head. "Well, whatever it is, one thing's for sure. We're getting a new toilet."

     Her pets cheered. Glitter flew and did a somersault in midair.

     "Let's go find a good bargain on a second-hand one!" said Kat, walking back outside the bathroom.

     Sweet, Fluffy, Glitter and Angel all froze in their tracks and stared at the retreating back of their owner.

     "Can't we just get a nice Fancy Toilet instead, with double the price and double the safety?" groaned the split Poogle.

The End

 
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