Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 182,700,471 Issue: 464 | 8th day of Collecting, Y12
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

How to Make Your Owner Get You What You Want


by ixinnia

--------

Have you had your eye on that new Usuki doll? Perhaps those wonderful shoes everyone in Neoschool is chatting about? Or maybe you just want something awesome that only your owner can afford? Well, have no fear! Now you can get whatever you want! I'm shop_till_ya_drop, but you can call me Sho. My owner is a bit... cheap, sometimes, and I really love getting new things. My birthday recently passed but can you guess what I got? Nothing. Well, nothing from my owner, at least. Here's my guide on how to get things from your owner.

15. Use chatspeak and act like a n00b until your owner has to give in.

Well, sometimes it works. Unless your owner has n00b spray on hand. If they do, just run.

14. Act completely different from yourself.

Are you a dark and mysterious girl? Act all girly, sweet and look cute! If you're sporty and at the same time girly, be lazy and tomboyish! Your owner will be so weirded out and then they'll have to give you what you want! Right? Just tell them if you get the item you want you'll be yourself again!

13. Listen to music your owner hates. And then play it loudly. Really loudly. So loudly that the Neopian Fire Department have to come because it sounds like an alarm.

Okay, maybe not THAT loudly. Just loud enough to get your point through. Maybe your owner hates Twisted Roses? What about Jub Zambra and the Cobrall Charmers? As long as your owner hates the music, you just play it!

12. Steal their nightlights.

Well, if they still sleep with nightlights. My owner doesn't, so if they don't have nightlights, steal their light bulbs so there's no light in their room in the night time, and then fill it with stinky socks, fake vomit and other really gross things. However, next time you set foot in there, there could be REAL vomit.

11. Offer to cook their meals forever, and burn them all until you get what you want.

Okay, this might not work, but it possibly could if your owner hates getting burnt food in the morning, afternoon and evening!

10. Say "PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE" in a really annoying tone of voice.

Perhaps even add puppy eyes. It actually does work, because when their ear drums are just about shattered, they'll give in. However, if they have ear plugs, knowing you'd do this, just like my owner, I'll move on to number 9.

9. Say you will break/destroy/blow up/bite/or violate their favourite possession if they do not give you what you want.

Is it a one-of-a-kind gift by their best Neofriend? How about a stuffed animal from years and years ago? Of course, this does not work if your owner doesn't have a favourite possession. If you're the good-angelic-sweet-nice pet of your family, this might not work as your owner would know you wouldn't do that. If so, we'll have to move on to number 8.

8. Do something your owner hates until they give in.

Is it hogging the bathroom all morning? How about playing really loud music by Twisted Roses? Is it letting your petpet destroy everything? No matter what it is, as long as it annoys your owner, it's sure to work! And, if it doesn't... I don't know what to say except "moving on to number 7".

7. Steal all their Neopoints and try buying the item you want... until you get caught.

And then when you get caught, give the Neopoints back saying that "you've changed". Maybe your owner will be impressed with you confessing, and even buy you what you want. If they don't, write them a letter telling them how you're "so deeply sorry" and how you "will do all your chores". Then once they give you the item, just be lazy again and hide the item somewhere only you know about. If your owner finds it, I'll move onto number 6.

6. Get good grades in Neoschool.

Or at least try to. This will only help if you actually want to do work, so if you don't, skip this one and go to number 5. If you really want to read on, study for your tests (yes, I said it), pay attention in class, stop spit-balling at the teacher, don't pass notes, be a good student and just in general don't get in trouble at Neoschool! Then maybe your owner will buy the item you want!

5. Wish on a star that your owner will actually listen to you for once.

It might not work, but it just might! Unless that "star" happens to be Dr. Sloth.. Moving on!

4. Buy a Hypnotic Scroll.

It might even work and you can tell your owner to buy the item you want! If they snap out of it too easily, then I'm afraid we have to go to number 3.

3. Capture a faerie to try and harness its magic.

This may not work, but if it does, then you can simply poof up the item after you are done getting the magic. Or just run while the faerie chases you, and of course, read number 2.

2. Tell your owner that their mom/dad/family member is coming over.

They will be SO freaked trying to get the place ready and while you go shopping to "help" your owner prepare for their family member coming over, sneak to the Shop Wizard or the Trading Post to get the item you want. Then use the remaining Neopoints to buy the supplies, and watch as your owner runs around preparing the place.

1. If none of the other ideas work, there's only one more left to try. Get a Meepit army from a cousin/some stranger/a friend to make your owner get the item you want.

Seriously, that's my last idea. This idea also works for scaring away neighbours, strangers, siblings, teachers, classmates... you get the idea.

Well, those are my ideas for how to make your owner get you what you want. 'Til next time, Neopians!

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

An Eternity Unbreakable: Part Nine
The final aspect of Salis' terror had been undone...

Also by 777lehuanani

by ludmilia


---------

Speak no More: Scamanders
GREAT JAMBALAYAS, NEO!

by laehlani

---------

The Spardel on the Street Corner
I don't know why I felt the need to do it. I've always been fiercely independent, not liking to rely upon anyone else, and not liking anyone else having to rely upon me.

by crazy_holly_ii

---------

"Petsitting" Part 3
Kids, don't do this without an adult's supervision... hehe.

by kanalusa



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.