The Top Ten Most Dangerous Foods in Neopia
I’ve written this article to warn other Neopians about the dangerous and sometimes catastrophic nature of each of these foods. Many of them will attack you, bite you, or even attempt to eat you. Beware; most of these foods have a seemingly never-ending ravenous need to feed themselves. Attempting to eat them may cause insanity amongst those that escape the clutches of the ferocious food, or dangerous consequences. Even being near one of these feisty feasts can cause injury to those who are not aware of the true power of these foods. Thankfully, many of them are quite rare throughout Neopia but many also are not. Now here, ladies and gentlemen, are listed the top ten most vicious and dangerous foods of them all.
10. Disturbing Gelatin
Armed with sharp teeth and a ravenous appetite, Disturbing Gelatin can be a formidable food if not treated carefully. Although many may think that this food is merely ‘disturbing’, this purple blob is something to be scared of. When you’re not looking, the gelatine may roll its tongue out and scrape perhaps a loose item, or a finger, into its mouth. The gelatine’s mouth is filled with razor sharp teeth. Many Neopians have disregarded the Disturbing Gelatin as a dangerous food, but in reality, it’s more than disturbing.
9. Cranky Croissant
Although this lovely looking roll of pastry looks great for breakfast, think again. The razor sharp teeth can pierce even the toughest gloves. You may be thinking that this croissant would go great with a knob of butter or perhaps some cheese, but in truth the croissant thinks of you that way. Great care must be taken to calm the croissant before consuming it; Neopians have done this in a variety of ways, including singing to it or even feeding some food to it. The Breadmaster himself has been the subject of much speculation over the creation of such a flaky pastry, but no one has succeeded in stopping the baking of such a croissant.
8. Angry Candy
These bright, heart shaped pieces of confectionary may seem the perfect gift on Valentine’s Day or on such an occasion; however, these candies are constantly angry. Almost guaranteed to give your Neopet a one way trip to the hospital with a severe case of cavities or lost teeth, the Angry Candy demands to be treated as a greater thing than just candy. Simply eating one can lead to a lifelong phobia of candy. Many residents of Neopia have come to fear candy simply because of their experience of eating this pink, blue or green confectionary.
7. Oppressor Onions
Everyone knows that there is safety in numbers; unfortunately, these onions also know this. Travelling in packs of two, the Oppressor Onions will attempt to attack you and take you back to their leader, who is thought to be a larger Onion and is known to rule over all Oppressor Onions. As stated in the description, ‘you are at the mercy of the onions’; they will choose whether to attack you or let you go. Neopians stumbling into the Grundo’s Café often disappear without a trace after buying Oppressor Onions. There’s been much talk about the circumstances of the situation and if the infamous onions did it, but their leader and supposed hideout is yet to be found, along with the victims.
6. Angry Cinnamon Roll
The name of Cinnamon Rolls has been tainted forever by the Breadmaster’s creation. Although a comforting cinnamon bun iced with a sweet icing may be the dream of many Neopians after a long day, eating or attempting to eat the Angry Cinnamon Roll may lead to deadly or even fatal consequences. The nature of the Angry Cinnamon Roll is said in its name; it’s almost always angry. The Breadmaster has stated that there is a way to calm the terrifying Cinnamon Roll, but has never told its secret to any Neopian.
5. Ferocious Negg
Highly prized and well known for the training abilities bestowed upon a pet after eating it, the Ferocious Negg also has a dangerous side. These neggs are usually very mad, and will snap at anything within their reach. Their razor sharp teeth can catch limbs or tails unawares, and can cause serious injury. However, they not only bite. When consuming a Ferocious Negg, you are guaranteed to catch a random disease. Neopians cast the thought of this aside and feed it to their pets. In turn, they become super strong.
4. Aggressive Casserole
The Aggressive Casserole is made up of the stuff of Neopians’ nightmares. From the Haunted Woods, this creation brought a whole new meaning to casserole throughout Neopia. When attempting to eat this casserole, many Neopians were too slow to consume the meal; numerous reported cases of disappearing Neopians who were known to be eating this casserole have become well known. Although the Aggressive Casserole has no eyes, it does have a remarkable sense of smell. It is best eaten upwind, so the casserole won’t smell you when you attempt to eat it. However, the casserole will know when you try to eat it. Eating the casserole as fast as possible can mean the difference between you eating it, or the Angry Casserole eating you.
3. Beast Burger
Eating this burger is one of the ‘must do’ experiences of going to the Haunted Woods; the flavours of this burger are supposed to be totally unique to this place. However, it can be a totally different experience if you don’t eat it first. The tomato, beef patty, relish, salad and fresh bun topped with an olive may seem like a true delight in such a dark place where the burger originates, but in truth it is one of the most dangerous foods ever created. The flavour of this burger has brought many doom, as many savour the smell and taste of such a burger and eat the burger slowly. The burger in turn has taken this as an advantage and attacked the unwary eater. Always remember: when eating this burger, don’t rush to eat it. Rush as fast as possible.
2. Carnivorous Carved Pumpkin
The Haunted Woods are adorned with pumpkins during Halloween. Children run around outside, while unbeknown to them this pumpkin looms in the background, seeking its next meal. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the Carnivorous Carved Pumpkin, one of Neopia’s most feared and dangerous foods known. Almost always hiding in amongst its friendlier pumpkin cousins, the Carnivorous Carved Pumpkin is feared throughout Neopia. There is no way to detect its presence. Once the pumpkin comes roaring at you, there is no way to defend yourself. Its jaws have enough power to break a Jade Staff in two. Simply, RUN!
Obliteratoes are THE most truly terrifying food of the cosmos and Neopia. These spuds are feared far and wide, from the Space Station itself to the far reaches of Tyrannia. When Gargarox Isafuhlarg created these terrifying vegetables, Neopians thought he was crazy. Why would anyone want a food that would bring so much terror and fear throughout Neopia? Despite this, Gargarox went on with his plan. His creation brought nightmares to Neopians far and wide who have attempted to eat this extremely rare yet deadly meal. They don’t just do damage. They obliterate everything in their sight. Even one is enough to cause huge amounts of chaos, but like the Oppressor Onions, the Obliteratoes travel in numbers. Very few Neopets have tasted these spuds. Either they have somehow disappeared whilst eating them, or their owners have somehow disappeared. If you ever encounter Obliteratoes, run as fast as you can. Or you will be obliterated.
Overall, all these foods are extremely dangerous and Neopians should avoid any contact with them. Beware.