Neopias Secret War-How the Meepits are Taking Over

Eyrie in the background: Dun dun da!

Yes, the Meepit. The furry pink Petpet that Neopia was grown to love. Does your pet go to sleep at night with that little bundle of fur sleeping next it? Do you spend hours playing the beloved Meepit Juice Break? Do walk around all the saying MEEP? Do you give a Meepit shelter under your roof? If one of the symptoms above applies to you, or anything close to that listed above, -YOU- are in great danger!

Now you may be thinking, ‘How can my Cuddlywuddlykins125647637neo pose a threat to Neopia? She wouldn’t hurt a Mootix!’ Well think again! Meepits can and will use THE LOOK!

Eyrie: Dun dun da!

Please stop that. Now I am here today in my black clothes and very dark sunglasses looking like some spy person with our very own Jeran, Knight or Meridell, who was just fell for a Meepit attack last night. I’m I correct Jeran?

Jeran: *Snifs* Yes. Last night I was playing with my Meepit, Kass. Then, all of a sudden, Kass just started staring at me with his big hypnotizing eyes. Then, he made me buy him a fire and ice blade! *Sniff* That was all my Neopoints! Then, Kass bound and gagged me! I tried to stop him, but I was hypnotized by Kass’s stare! I was thankfully rescued by a guard who heard the racket coming from my room. That Meepit would have done me in! *Sniff* Kass was my bwestist friend! *Sobs into tissue*

You can see that the Meepit, Kass, has put Jeran, Meridell’s greatest hero, in tears. That is how dangerous they are. First, they act all kind and friendly, but then, they will turn on you like they did to poor Jeran. Their stare is hypnotizing. They can force you to buy items, steal asparagus, make fun of Sloth right in front of his face, and even

TALK LIKE A N00B!

Eyrie: Dun dun da!

Will you cut that out!

Now how many of you out there are addicted to Meepit Juice Break? This game is a very popular one among Neopians. But is it safe? The music is catchy, but is it like that for a reason? If you said yes, you are correct. The music is a way of drawing in players, who are then hypnotized by the Meepits and the music. And then, before you know it, you are a slave to the Meepits!

Eyrie: Dun dun da!

Okay, who is doing that! When I find out who it is I WILL force you to listen to Sloth Lyrics!

Eyrie: It’s the Meepits! MEEP!

Ah! *Jumps into nearest bush* Okay we’ll just get down to how to prevent Meepit attacks now.

How to identify a Meepit

A Meepits as a small, usually pink Petpet. They come in many other colours, even dung! Their eyes are very large and hypnotic. Their two front teeth stick out, giving them the buck tooth look. Better yet, here’s a picture

Scary huh? If your scared of that, your going to by crying for your mommy by the time I’m finished.

Preventing a Meepit attack

So now you know what a Meepit looks like. Now you need to learn to prevent an attack. First, identify all Meepits with in your neighborhood. You need to know what lives near you. Write down the location of the Meepits too. Don’t forget, there could be the dreaded INVISIBLE MEEPIT around too. Next, go to the nearest shop. Purchase the darkest sunglasses they have for each member of your family. Then buy some cheese.

Every time you or your pets are within 100 yards of a Meepit, put on the sunglasses. Meepits can’t hypnotize you when you have dark glasses covering your eyes. They can’t make eye contact, which is a key step in hypnotism. As for the Cheese, I just like it!

HELP! I LIVE WITH A MEEPIT!

Ware sunglasses 24/7. No more comments.

THE AFTERMATH OF A MEEPIT ATTACK

So you or somebody you know has already been attacked by a Meepit. There is only one solution left now; SELL THE MEEPIT! They go for around 600k on the trading post, and after you collect your earnings, that Meepit’s out of your life forever. Unless of course, that Meepit comes back to stalk you!

Eyrie: Dun dun da!

Okay, I am aware that there is a major dweeb behind me that needs to shut up. Release the Meepits on him!

Large crowd of Meepits: MEEEP!

Eyrie: AH! OKAY I’LL GET OUT OF HERE!

That’s better. Now we will hear from real people who have actually been attacked by Meepits! These stories are 99.9% true and .01% cheese, Read at your peril!

Dear Meepit Help Team,

I was brutally mutilated by a Meepit. I had just walked into the Petpet store, hoping to purchase a Petpet. I walked over to a Meepit’s cage and stuck my hand in to pet it. IT BIT MY FINGER! I THEN CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED CRIED AND CRIED AND CRIED…

-A cry-baby

Dear Crybaby.

Might I suggest you stop crying over small things! It was just a nip on the finger! That Meepit could have done much worse.

-The Meepit Help Team

Dear Meepit Help Team,

My Meepit Jeran made me hug a Jeran Action Figure! My reputation among my friends is now ruined! JERAN WAS MY BWESTIST FRIEND! HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO ME!

-Kass

Dear Kass,

YOU’RE DEAD! HOW CAN YOU BY WRITING THIS! I DON’T WANT TO SEE DEAD PETS!

-A Freaked out Meepit Help Team Member Who Does Not See Dead Eyries

Deer Meepit Help Team

Lik heelp me! Meepits ar lik making me buy hidden tower stuff! U better reply or face my fist o d00m!!!!!!!!!!!!1111oneone

-A Very Well Educated in English Person

Dear A Very Well Educated in English Person

First of all, you are not very well educated in English. You should be a called A Very Well Educated in Chatspeak n00b. Second, I do not except letters in chatspeak.

-A Meepit Help Team n00b Hater

If you want help on your Meepit related problems, send a letter to

7208 Help-I'm-being-attacked-and/-or been-attacked-by-a-Meepit so-I'm-writing-to-you-to-tell-you so-I-can-get-a-stupid-reply-back so-that-is-why-I’m-writing-you, Training Square, Mystery Island.

That’s all the time we have today, so see you next time!