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You Are What You Eat: Save our Chias!

by pandora


For years now, it has become a known fact that it is, in fact, possible to transform your average, run-of-the-mill Chia into a glorious chocolate Chia, simply by feeding it enough chocolate. This fact was stated by The Neopets Team themselves, back in an early edition of the Neopian Times. However, while this may be true, it has apparently caused much suffering to countless Chias across Neopia, who have been forced to eat chocolate for the most part of their lives! Here you will read an interview with Cocoa the Chia, a young neopet who has lived a life deprived of needed proteins, vitamins, and nutrition.

Hopefully this will be something all owners can take away from!


My name is Cocoa, I am a Chia, I am thirteen years old, and have lived nearly my entire life on a diet of chocolate.

All of my friends were out-of-their minds jealous of me, once upon a time. I'd sashay into school with a lunchbox brimming with candy-bars and chocolate cybunnies and delicacies you could only dream of. I'd go to the Chocolate Factory almost every day with a large plastic bag in my hands, and stuff it with almost everything in sight. My sister, Britney, a pretty blue Uni, would scrunch up her nose in distaste every time I'd come home with my chocolates, prattling on about fat-content and how unhealthy I was. My little brother, Timmy, a Tuskaninny, would try to sneak into my room and steal a few of my little treasures.

Those were the good ol' days.

Now, years later, it's all come back to haunt me. The sweet sanctuary of my lunchbox has now become a dreaded chore, each nuance of chocolate, each flavor, have gone numb on my taste-buds. It's sickening. Britney still chuckles teasingly when she notices what I'm eating for dinner. Timmy still tries to steal my candy, and Fyora knows I'd let him if it weren't for my owner---

Anna. She's a sweetie, she really is, but at this current age and time in my life, sweet isn't exactly a good thing in my book. I was her first neopet, back when she was only six years old. She is a teenager now, complete with platinum blonde highlights and Jazzmosis band T-shirts, but she still is working for her most childish, whimsical, and heartfelt dream:

A chocolate Chia.

Ever since she found out it was possible to transform a Chia into a living, breathing, three-dimensional sundae, she's been buying books and reading articles and everything in between to make me into one. It was one day, years ago, when she had been skimming the Neopian Times, that she came across the key to her dreams.

In one of the editorials, she claimed to have read that if you feed your Chia enough chocolate, it will literally become chocolate.

It seemed so simple, so perfect.

'You are what you eat!' she'd tell me, proceeding with shoving a pint of chocolate pudding down my throat.

And today, I stand, with a lifetime's worth of chocolate in my system and I can tell you, with a 100% certainty that this is not true.

I've tried everything. Anything was better than gorging myself on all of this chocolate. I was always upset, always longing for chomby chips, bacon, anything and everything that was not chocolate. I am even guilty of having sneaked into the Health Food store, begging the shop owner to have mercy and just give me some stinking asparagus!

Of course, Anna found me right before the old Chia, pity and--was it understanding?---in his eyes, was about to hand me a bushel of veggies. That day, she had dragged me to the Chocolate Factory for our daily visit, asking me to pick out whatever I wanted.

I wanted to to tell her that I wanted a tomato. Some corn. Most pet owners would be thrilled, but not Anna.

Nothing worked with her. Nothing.

When the secret laboratory ray came out, I begged her to buy it and just zap me out of my misery, as I had known of a few Chias who had become chocolate through this method. She refused, saying she didn't want any harm to come to me. When perfectly good Neopians put chocolate Chias up for adoption, she would never even bother, declaring the only chocolate Chia she'd ever want was me. She used the same excuse for when pet trading became allowed, and I had fallen on my knees, pleading for her to just trade Britney ("You annoying little pastry!" my sister had hissed at my idea) and get it over with.

I realize now that I might be doomed to live a life of chocolate torture. It is not a happy thought, mind you. All of you little baby pets who are running around, shrieking in jealousy, don't be. Eat your broccoli. Eat your lettuce. Enjoy your mushy, albeit disgusting prune baby food. Don't eat too many sweets, you'll regret it. I, Cocoa, am a chocolate Chia in every sense but appearance. Owners, don't do this to your pets. Maybe try for a blueberry Chia, or a pepper Chia. I don't know. Just remember to feed your pets healthily. Thanks you, and goodbye!


Neopians and neopets alike will be glad to hear that since reading this, Anna, Cocoa's owner, has decided to abandon her shameful journey towards a chocolate Chia, stating that, "I've loved Cocoa since I adopted her as a little yellow Chia, and always will." What a heartwarming end to this lovely neo-family!

Do not lose the message of this story! A healthy Chia is a happy Chia. They are what they eat. Feed your neopets daily, give them nutritional portions, make sure they eat their vitamins and minerals. If you or a loved one knows of a Chia suffering from lack of nutrients like Cocoa has, in order to obtain a special pet color, contact us or a trusted Neopets Team member immediately. Or send in some asparagus. Do not be shy, you can be making an unhealthy Chia very grateful!

Tune in next week for You Are What You Eat, edition 2, "Save our Skeiths (and Grarrls)"!

Until then, Pandora, over and out!

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