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The Age Old Question


by chazer_rem

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The Age Old Question.

Dear Neopians,

I have written in today to discuss a very serious issue. Indeed, it is an age old question, almost a taboo, that no Neopet has ever dared to answer, or even question.

Yes, I am here to talk to you about MAGAX.

More importantly, about how he can fly.

Now, I’ve heard many a rumour circulating about this issue, and have decided to be that Neopian, the one that questions... Nay, answers, this bizarre occurrence.

MAGAX, if you’re out of the loop, is a Wocky who features in two Neopian games -MAGAX: Destroyer and MAGAX: Destroyer II. There seems to be little documentation of his origins (that, and I have not looked particularly closely), but word of mouth tells me he was once an atrocious villain, hailing from the Haunted Woods, bent on destroying the world. He was rival to none, not even the great Sloth. Except his master, Hubrid Nox, of course. You must be well aware of Nox by now, what with this faerie business occurring. He is the one blocking our access to the beloved Poogle Races, how could you not know of him!

Just in case you are just that behind, Nox is a famous warlock who employs the undead in order to perform his terrible deeds. But MAGAX, now turned good, attempts to vanquish him at every turn.

And yes, every letter in his name is capitalised. I haven’t made numerous mistakes.

Now, we have all seen an example of MAGAX’s skills in MAGAX: Destroyer II, but, this game offers no satisfaction for the curious Neopet. We see MAGAX, propelled forward, defeating Cybunnies, Scorchios and even Hubrid Nox himself.

But how?

Rumour one: He’s attached to a string.

This was suggested by Marisol__1, a very concerned Neopet who seems to be lacking sleep over this terrible problem.

Yes, well, it is a possibility. There could be a secret pulley hidden behind those ominous clouds, with some poor, sickly Grundo bolting around in a wild panic, shifting MAGAX to and fro. But, if this were the case, surely we would see some sign, some glint of the wire in the moonlight at least once in the ten levels.

You see, such ropes catch light when it hits at certain angles, and what with MAGAX moving around constantly, there would be a little chance of such a gleam being missed by the careful eye. (Plus, the Grundo Union for the Ethical Treatment of Grundos in the Workplace – GUETGW - would be on him in an instant).

Plus, how would MAGAX issue commands to this loyal servant? His arms, eyes, legs do not move during his battle, and the only time he moves is when... Well, when he changes directions, moves downward or moves upward. But he performs these so quickly and efficiently that he could not possibly be sending the signals at the last possible moments! It would just be unthinkable!

I have done much research into this concept, my eyes burning as I scrutinized MAGAX’s every twitch (there are not that many, he is a very still Wocky), and I believe this is much to fanciful an idea to be the truth.

Rumour two: His tail acts as a propeller.

While this seems like a legitimate reason, what with MAGAX’s lithe form and tiny paw to body ratio, I’m afraid to say it is simply impossible. Unlike the evil Scorchios whose wings bat up and down furiously, or Nox himself, whose cape is of such pompous proportions that it can keep him afloat for brief appearances; MAGAX’s tail stays completely stationary during his whole flight. I kid you not! It just remains in that tense position, much like MAGAX’s concentred expression.

It has come to my attention that his tail could be moving at supersonic speeds, too fast for the delayed eye to notice. But if this were the case, wouldn’t MAGAX be flying at a much faster pace? Would he even be able to turn going so fast? I think not.

So, unfortunately, this concept was not much of a challenge.

Rumour three: The faeries granted him the power of flight, as they adore him ever so much.

I didn’t even bother with this one.

Rumour Four: The power of suggestion.

I’m sure we have all attempted a wish at the Wishing Well at some point in out lives, and a lucky few of us have been granted our wish. Perhaps, MAGAX is much like us. He moves into his flying position, hands up by his face, tail extended; eyes closed.... And pow! He begins to fly! It’s like his own personal Wishing Well, purely for him, granting this power so that he might vanquish evil and restore his reputation!

Imagine that power! That strength!

...However, this too seems to be much too fanciful, and so I must regretfully tuck it away into my dreams.

Plus it leads to many other questions, and I am short of time.

Rumour Five: A semi-automatic, diminutive, Wocky coloured jet pack.

This one was sent into me by a brilliantly sarcastic Neopet, Azmodelle.

Unfeasible! I retorted when he told me. Such technology does not exist, after all.

But, apparently, it has a Virtupets logo on it.

It must be legitimate then.

This, Neopians, is what I propose is the real reason for MAGAX’s abilities. I- hang on, I’m getting a neomail.

...

...

...

Hmm... “I believe you are very much wrong”? What? What a preposterous claim!

...Let me read on.

“He has powers from Hubrid Nox. Duh,” you say? What! Impossible! This.... “Common knowledge”, you say? Discovered back when MAGAX II was released?

“Go read the Neopedia Entry” ? Well, I... I guess...

...

...

...

Well... I... I feel quite mortified now..

It’s good I have some cleaning to do! I’ll just... erm... err... yes.

Mr. Earl Squirrelson, Executive Chief of pointless Neopian claims.

 
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