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Meepits Are Not the Enemy!

by retrac446


That's right, I said it. Everybody always says, "Oh no, it's a Meepit, run," or "Meepits are freaky," or often, "Meepits work for Sloth/TNT." Everybody hates Meepits because they think Meepits are evil. Well, I've had enough of it! It's about time somebody stood up for the little guys. Meepits are cute and pink and cuddly, not evil, and I will tell you why.

First, I must say it is not all your fault for hating Meepits. There are plenty of reasons to hate Meepits. First there is Meepit versus Feepit. Meepits are the main enemy in that game. Why shouldn't you hate them, right? Wrong! The whole idea of the game is prejudice against Meepits. You may think that the Meepits are attacking the Feepits. Wrong again! The Feepits are attacking the Meepits, and the Meepits are defending themselves. Feepits are savages. Have you ever noticed the Feepits are in the Meepits' home territory? They are invading! That is why a bunch of Meepits celebrate when the Meepit wins, because their territory is safe again! And they cry when they lose because they know the Feepits will probably eat them for dinner. Yes, Feepits are petpet eaters. Feepits cry when they lose because they know their fierce Feepit overlords will kill them for losing. So don't play Meepit versus Feepit at all, so no one gets hurt.

Then there is Meepit Juice Break. This game shows Meepits in a relatively good light. And yet people are still skeptical. "Why should we feed the Meepits?" they ask. "They are evil and don't deserve to be fed." Meepits are not evil! And yes, they do need to be fed by you. Have you ever seen their stubby arms? They can't get the juice to their mouth. TNT was smart to pay people to feed them. As you can see if you play the game, they drop dead if they don't get fed. If people didn't play the game, the number of Meepits would dwindle. That's bad for the economy. Soon, Meepits would be extinct. Then people would think, "Gee, I wish that I hadn't thought that Meepits were evil and fed them. I sure do miss their little cute pink faces. (Starts crying.)" Ah, poor person. This is why you should play Meepit Juice Break to help the Meepits. Also, the tree is not some sort of secret Meepit base. This is the work of Meepit haters. The tree is to get up to the pipes. If it weren't for the tree, there would only be one pipe and productivity would slow and many more Meepits would die. Also, in case of an emergency, there is backup juice in the tree. The tree really helps the Meepits get fed. So help out the Meepits by playing Meepit Juice Break every day. (Zen mode helps more. More Meepits for less the price!)

Then there are the rumors that Meepits are for world domination and that they work for TNT and Sloth. These are just rumors! Meepits seem to be people's scapegoats when they can't think of a good conspiracy. (Technically, I'm also using them to start a conspiracy, but this is important. Meepits really are being treated unfairly.) It seems that these rumors have spread quickly, and now everyone thinks that Meepits are evil. But they aren't and they don't work for Sloth/TNT.

First, Sloth would never hire Meepits. For crying out loud, Meepits are happy and cute and pink! And Sloth is pure evil. Why would anyone of such evil status want to hire happy pink minions? It doesn't make any sense! Sloth doesn't have petpets on his army. (He hasn't gotten to the Feepits yet.) Sloth only controls mutant Grundos and, quite possibly, evil fuzzles. (Although they might just work for themselves.)

Then we get to TNT. Meepits do not work for them. TNT hates Meepits. Why else would they release hordes of Feepits on them, and then blame the Meepits for the destruction? They make everything hard for Meepits. They play a pretty key role in Meepit hate. They are the ones who help spread the rumors about Meepits. Fortunately, TNT has at least some remorse for Meepits. That is why they opened Meepit Juice Break, to help the Meepit population go stronger from the pummeling they had received. Plus, this way, they have more Meepits to pummel. (I was only kidding about the remorse part.) So obviously Meepits do not work for TNT.

There are other things contributing to Meepit hate. Their description, the "Offline: Hiding from the Meepits" status you can put on your user lookup, the Meepit chair, and the truly awful Meepapault. I can't imagine who would be heartless enough to fling a Meepit in the air as a Battledome weapon. The Feepits, maybe, but they are heartless anyway. Anyway, the "Offline: Hiding from the Meepits" is a joke; it does not mean they are evil. And I personally don't find the eyes freaky at all. As for the chair, Meepits don't have that many teeth. They only have the front one. There is also the fact that Meepits are scary petpets. This is wrong. Feepits should be scary petpets and Meepits should be normal petpets. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention the OTHER NEOPIAN TIMES ARTICLES! Ok, ok, calm yourself. But really, you can't go a week without reading some article or comic about Meepits being evil. The other articles about Meepits being evil really don't help.

Things don't look good for Meepits. They are pretty rare petpets because of everyone hating them. (Yet somehow not as rare as pet rocks. I'll never understand that. I don't think Feepits would find rocks as succulent as Meepits.) But there is hope. Hopefully this article will bring Meepit lovers together, against the Meepit haters and Feepits. And maybe some Meepit haters will stop hating Meepits because of his article. (I doubt the article will have any effect on Feepits. None of them can read anyway.) So just remember, Meepits are not bad, just misunderstood. So next time you see a Meepit say, "Aww, how cute," or "Good luck with the Feepits," or "Would you like some juice?" instead of "Meepits are evil!"


P.S. If you own a Feepit, sell it and buy a Meepit. If not, sell something else and buy a Meepit.

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