Voice of the Neopian Pound Circulation: 130,067,293 Issue: 259 | 29th day of Gathering, Y8
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Pirates Don't Take Bubble Baths

by kougra_helper_9157


The skies were dark and dreary even though it was morning, and the storm was heading back towards the Black Pawkeet. Talak opened the trap door in the deck and followed Garry, Jacques, and Garin down to the small bedroom. Garin had his arms slung around their shoulders, and was coughing and sneezing every which way. A little pirate slorg followed, leaving a trail of greenish slime.

      They laid Garin down on the ratty quilts and flung more blankets across him. Garin sneezed and looked around at the worried faces. Talak brought the slorg who was halfway down the steps over and set him on Garry's shoulder. Garry didn't mind the little ball of snot.

      Garin coughed again and sat up. "I'm *cough* fine! *sneeze* Let me go back up and direct my crew!" he said in a hoarse voice. Garin had been up late the night before in the cold and rain. Because of it, he had caught a cold. Jacques laid a hand on Garin's forehead and one on his own.

      "He has a fever," the red Kyrii whispered to Garry, the newest member aboard the Black Pawkeet. She was the smartest one aboard the ship, and had a hobby for curing sick pets, so she was perfect for the doctoring job on the Black Pawkeet. She wiped her pink paws on a handkerchief from her pocket

      "How about a bubble bath? That always used to make me feel better," said Garry with a sympathetic look.

      "Pirates don't take bubble baths, Garry. I know you've only been a pirate for a couple *sneeze* weeks, but pirates are tough. Not *cough* girly," he wheezed. The Kougra rolled her eyes and turned to Jacques.

      "I'll go make some of my mom's soup," she whispered to him. She ran up the stairs, slipping and almost falling on slorg slime. She scolded the slorg and shut the trap door. The thunder crashed again, making Talak shudder and look up.

      Garry was back in about twenty minutes, carrying a steaming bowl of... something. Jacques and Talak left, leaving only the Usul, the Kougra, and the slorg. Garry sat the bowl in Garin's lap. "What in the name of *cough* Fyora *sneeze* is this?" Garin questioned. The steam cleared up his nostrils and he smelled the soup. Disgusting. He thought he saw it move when it bubbled.

      "It's some of my mom's Curing Soup," she answered. Slimey wiggled his hooked tail and dropped from his perch. "It's made up of a couple of woo woo grubs, three tomatoes, a can of prune juice, and some Flaming BBQ Crisps. That gives it its spice. Oh, and I dumped a healing potion in there too. I used to eat this all the time when I was sick. I had nightmares every time I ate it, though."

      She picked Slimey up with one paw and set him on her shoulder again and continued up the staircase. Garin remembered how she acquired Slimey. It was a birthday present from Jacques. Garin smiled, remembering that day. Jacques had the biggest crush on Garry, though he'd never admit it. Slimey had been just a little green slorg when he gave it to her, but she used her last remaining Neopoints to paint him pirate. She loved Slimey like a child.

      "Oh, and you'll get better faster if you eat all of it. If you have nightmares, that means it's working."

      Garry fished a wooden spoon out of her pocket and tossed it to him. She shut the trap door as the thunder sounded, leaving the Usul and the moving soup. Garin sneezed and shoved a spoonful of soup into his mouth. He gagged and sputtered, but that awful taste didn't go away. He knew that this was probably the only way of getting better quickly, and he trusted the pink rookie pirate, so he closed his eyes, shut his nose with his fingers, and drained the soup. His eyes were watering by the time he was finished.

      He spat out a chunk of something that was in the soup and sneezed. He was cold and shivering, but he soon broke out in a sweat. That soup was unbelievably spicy. He felt tired, so he lay down and closed his eyes.


      But his eyes stayed closed for only a second, because the shouts of the crew on the deck brought him to his miserable senses. He sprang from his bed, shaky but sure-footed, and grabbed the sword hanging from hooks on the wall. He shoved open the trap door, sneezing as he went. On the deck, he saw Jim and Gordy fighting off another pirate together. Talak was beating a pirate Blumaroo with a mop, and Jacques was finishing off a purple Bruce. Benny the Bruce and Nathan the Blumaroo. That would mean... Scarblade was back.

      Garin coughed and jumped up on deck. He scuttled over to help Garry, the rookie pirate. "What are you doing out of bed?" Garry shouted over the thunder. She turned her attention back to a blue Lenny and clashed swords. Garin knocked his feet out from under him and left Garry to deal with him. He ran and slipped on the wet deck, causing his pants to rip at the knees, and pulled the wheel in the direction of land.

      The lightning flashed, casting a huge shadow on the ground around Garin. His shadow couldn't be that big, could it? Garin coughed as he let go of the wheel and turned around. Standing behind him was the only thing that would ever try to come between him and his crew. "Scarblade," Garin spat.

      "Ah! Little Garin is ill! Been out late playing with your 'crew' in the cold?" Scarblade asked, fingering his cutlass in its scabbard. His figure loomed over Garin; he couldn't remember Scarblade being that tall. Scarblade whipped his cutlass out of its sheath, and with lightning quick reflexes, he jabbed at Garin. Garin sneezed as he dodged and stabbed Scarblade in the chest, but to his surprise, the sword snapped in half as it struck him. Garin turned around and doubled over. He could sense another coughing fit coming.

      Scarblade shoved him hard onto the deck. Nobody had noticed yet that their captain was about to face a gruesome death. Scarblade bent down slowly and pulled a short, flat dagger out of his jacket. He held the blunt edge against Garin's hoarse throat and whispered a few words into his ear. Garin didn't catch it completely, but it sounded like he had said his name. Then the blade became burning hot and flexible. What kind of blade could do that? The rain kept on coming. Garin struggled against Scarblade's iron grip, but he couldn't move. The blade felt like it was on fire. Scarblade seemed to shrink about three feet... and turn pink.

      His ears rounded and his face became less sharp. Scarblade's putrid breath faded away and was replaced by a sweet, sugary smell. Garin opened his eyes. Above him was Garry, pressing a warm, wet cloth against his throat.

      "Ah! You're finally awake! You've been sleeping for hours! The towel on your neck's going to relax your throat." She walked over to the dresser and pulled out the soup bowl. Only this time, it was full to the top. She was going to make him eat more of the nasty concoction. Slimey sat on the edge of the bed, eyeing the soup suspiciously. He wiggled his hooked tail again and shook his head, sending his spotted bandana flying. Garin sat up and repositioned the bandana on his slimy little head. Slimey flashed his toothy grin in thanks, and slid off of the bed, leaving the quilt green and wet.

      "I see the soup worked. You were twitching and swinging an invisible sword with Scarblade. I heard his name a couple of times. It was only a nightmare. If you eat some more soup, you'll be well enough to order us around again tomorrow," said Garry sarcastically, bringing over the crimson, bubbling soup.

      Garin shoved the blankets off and stood up. "You know what, Garry? I think I will go take a bubble bath." He would do almost anything other than stomach that soup again.

      "I thought pirates don't take bubble baths."

      Garin sneezed. "They do now."

The End

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