Petpets I Would Feed to Florg the Mutant Chia

     Which brings us to Florg. If you didn’t know, Florg is a huge Mutant Chia that was experimented on by Dr. Sloth. He turned enormous and now has an insatiable appetite for delicious Petpets. Some would call Florg a monster.

     Now before anybody panics, this article is entirely hypothetical. No actual Petpets are being harmed here, and sorry-not-sorry in advance if one of your favourite Petpets is listed here. But, if Florg came to me asking for some new snacks and I had to make a few difficult decisions, then this would be it. Which Petpets will be Florg’s breakfast, lunch, and dinner?

     Frowny

     This is kind of self-explanatory, but if you’re not sure, just look at the name! Frownys genuinely look like they have never experienced happiness a single day in their entire existence. They constantly appear disappointed, exhausted, and mildly offended by life. I totally get it, same, Frowny, same. Frownys are literally known as the saddest Petpet ever.

     Why I’d feed a Frowny to Florg: As sad as it is, a Frowny probably wouldn’t even put up a fight or attempt to run away. It would just accept its defeat and fate. Florg probably wouldn’t even know how to react to a Petpet that is not putting up any resistance; would the hunt even be fun? Florg might even feel a little bad himself for eating the Frowny. I wonder what sadness tastes like?

     Cubett

     Cubetts are fish-shaped exactly like a cube. Doesn’t that alone already feel weird and suspicious? Cubetts aren’t the brightest Petpets, but what they lack in brain power, they make up for in love. I don’t know, those big round eyes and little smile are a little disturbing! And then it’s just floating there. Just a cube. A cube. Think about that for a second.

     Why I’d feed a Cubett to Florg: Is it just me, or does it feel like feeding a Cubett to a Florg seems kind of satisfying? The cube shape is like a nice piece of Fried Tofu. And Cubetts are fish! I’m sure Florg probably loves fish! Cubetts aren’t the smartest; they wouldn't even know what’s happening, and just creepily smile at Florg adoringly. Ignorance is bliss!

     Noil

     Before any Noil fans attack me, let me start off by saying that Noils are normally adorable, fluffy, loyal, and super playful! However, if you ever read the book, The Hungry Blue Noil, you know that Noils can change dramatically when they are hungry and angry. Their barks become overly critical and condescending. They suddenly have maximum pride and act as if they are the smartest Petpet in the room, and no one is better than them. The changed personality is not entirely their fault, and they might mean well, but it can get very exhausting.

     Why I’d feed a Noil to Florg: Look, Noils are safe on a normal day. But when they reach their hunger threshold, it can get very annoying and overwhelming. I wouldn’t blame you if you were tempted the same way I would be. The permanently unimpressed and superior attitude will get on your last nerve, which means it’s snack time for Florg. Honestly, even Florg himself might get too frustrated and decide the meal isn’t worth it.

     Jinjah

     Jinjahs are adorable little gingerbread Petpets, usually seen around the Month of Celebrating. Tiny frosting details, cute candy decorations, festive energy- doesn’t that sound delicious already? There’s just one caveat: Jinjahs love to run!

     Why I’d feed a Jinjah to Florg: I think this is pretty obvious; Jinjahs are delicious gingerbread Petpets! Sorry in advance. Florg would enjoy them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert; you can’t go wrong! And best of all, since Jinjahs are very athletic and love to run, it would be a challenge for Florg! Florg loves to chase and hunt for his Petpet meals so he could feel victory.

     Pickulsaur

     Pickulsaurs are like a fusion of a dinosaur and a pickle. They live near burger forests and tomato sauce swamps. Not going to lie, they look a little weird, but at the same time, oddly yummy?

     Why I’d feed a Pickulsaur to Florg: I personally love pickles, and I’m sure Florg probably has a craving for some sour snacks every now and then. A pickulsaur would be the perfect choice for such a craving! They are probably full of flavour and just the right amount of sour and savoury. Florg would be so thankful and satisfied.

     Abominable Snowball

     Abominable Snowballs are little snowman Petpets! They are cute and adorable, but unfortunately, they can only survive when the weather is cold.

     Why I’d feed an Abominable Snowball to Florg: I think Florg would love eating an Abominable Snowball; it would probably taste like a snow cone treat! Great for dessert or a snack! We all have that sweet tooth and want a cold treat occasionally! And honestly, these Snowball Petpets wouldn’t make it past the wintertime anyway, so Florg would technically be helping out. It’s a win-win?

     Meepit

     That blank stare. They cannot be trusted. I refuse to believe that Meepits are innocent and harmless. Everybody has that suspicious feeling when they see a Meepit, and you cannot tell me otherwise. Don’t let the cuteness fool you!

     Why I’d feed a Meepit to Florg: Future proofing and self-defence. Meepits are planning some huge world domination plan, and we have to start the fight back somewhere. On second thought, it might not be the best idea to feed Meepits to Florg. Meepits may use Florg to their advantage. Please disregard this choice.

      Neopia has so many Petpets that come in so many different shapes and forms. Florg has so many options to choose from; some might be delicious, some not so much! This is just a very, very hypothetical personal list! Which Petpets would you consider?

     And to any Meepits that might be reading this, I was really just kidding!