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By Faeriegurl4lyfe *strikes out* By Hyrunaei
WARNING, READ WITH EXTREME CAUTION: so usually the writer notes go after the
article, but considering this special occasion I believe I must warn you ahead.
Do not take anything Ru says seriously to prevent severe confusion and Neomails
asking questions, it’s for your own good! Simply pass on to the next article
and no one would be harmed. Why does he take Butterflies… err… I mean Faeries
so seriously? Only Doughnutfruits will know…
So it seems like Butterflies don’t really have much to do with life in Neopia,
consider this article rewritten to fit your needs of capturing Faeries, and
maybe even teaming up with Balthazar?
Hyrunaei: We stopped the babbling now?
Faeriegurl4lyfe: Yes, go ahead.
Hyrunaei: Thank you – now on to my (much-better-piece-of-art-that-FG-couldn’t-write-even-in-a-million-years)
article.
Faeriegurl4lyfe: What was that?
Hyrunaei: Nothing…
FG had her fair share of Neopian Times Reporter tryouts, now it's my turn *coughs
to clear out throat*. Hello, my name is Hyrunaei. I am a baby Chomby of the
once sane Faeriegurl4lyfe, bringing to you the step-by-step guide in capturing
Faeries (as TNT was responsible enough to not create one by them selves, and
giving me this brilliant chance to get into the New Neopian Times). There are
more than enough Faeries roaming in the planet of Neopia, but the dark ones
are the must annoying, I’m sure you agree. Serving you the five-step guide,
buckle up and read ahead for my first article ever, ‘How to capture faeries’.
(Price Range: 55,000-56,000 – no one ever said hunting faeries is cheap
my friend).
Step one – Creating a Faerie Net.
Oh, look – what a surprise, an item Neo hasn’t invented *astonished*
Creating the Net is the first step in getting yourself your very own Faerie.
First thing you need is a stick: The most enjoyable way to get one would be,
of course, licking a Cherry Chomby Lolly, and keeping the stick. Another
way would be completing the 50th level of Illusens Glade and getting an Illusens
Staff, but personally I find the first way a lot easier (and much cheaper).
Now, we will be needing something round, hollow and small… Are you thinking
what I’m thinking? Usuki Hula Hoop would be perfect! On the actual net
subject – you could buy a Spyder and force him to create you a net, or
just grab your owner by the neck, stuff a Blue Yarn Ball in their mouth
and tell them to make you a net (remind them it needs to have small holes, not
long sleeves!). In order to glue it all together we will need some Bubble
Gum (as Neo decided its best not to release any glue for now). Chew it and
glue it all in the right places and voila - there you go – a net of your very
own!
Step two – Knowing your Faerie.
You would never be able to capture your enemy without knowing enough about
him/her, because of that I strongly recommend to read the all faerie books
around Neopia. You can never know too much about faeries, and your pet would
gain some intelligence points as well, it’s a win-win situation! Study it well,
young grasshopper – for you will need the information that is written inside
those pages to create your master plan (remember to always have back up plans
if anything goes wrong).
Step three – Hunting in your own terms.
It is very important that you will never give the faerie the upper hand, no
matter what. Make sure you always follow your plan and that the faerie is not
tricking you into only believing so. Lure her into an environment you know well,
no scratch that, not well – an environment you know better then your own paw!
There would be no way he would win this hunt *Mwahahahah [chokes on a Doughnutfruit]
Hahahaha*
Step four – Patience.
It takes time to capture a Faerie, running after her like a maniac (scratch
the ‘like’ to define yourself) will not solve a thing. You must learn to be
patient and never give up. If at first you don’t succeed – trace your steps,
see what you did wrong – and try again. And do remember – always follow your
plan, and keep your eyes open for any flip of purple wings.
Step five – Congratulations!!!
You captured your faerie! (And if you haven’t, repeat steps 2 through 4 until
you will) Either way: your job is done!
Now you can safely free your faerie and do the same thing over, and over, and
over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over,
and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over,
and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over,
and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again to
keep you occupied till the end of the day! Isn’t that fun?
NOTE: This activity is especially recommended for baby Chombies with crazy
faerie owners who think Doughnutfruits would rule the world one day… (I feel
for you, guys!)
Faeriegurl4lyfe: Wow… You actually read all that? I’m impressed…
Hyrunaei: Just because your articles were so horrible nobody could stand reading
them until the end, and running after the first three lines doesn’t mean mines
are!
Faeriegurl4lyfe: …I think its time for your bath now…
Hyrunaei: Oh no, you're not *pushes FG of her cloud and turns to you* Here
are the 800 Neopoints I promised, and remember: not a word on this to anyone,
or I'm blabbing about a certain Mediocre Avatar accident!
Now, I have to get out of here before she comes back, if she asks you where
am I-I went that way *points to Meridell*!!!
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