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Space Faerie: Just an Ordinary Neopian?


by unknown_xx

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VIRTUPETS SPACE STATION— I was standing on line for my turn at Grundos— Food that is ... quite literally out of this world! I heard the usual jabbering and chattering of the Grundo folk that populate a good half of the station. I had my eyes set on a Caramalised Blunkabean. It was the perfect shape and size and I knew that this one had more minerals than the others. I quickly made a grab for it, but a red-gloved hand beat me to it.

How rude, I thought to myself. I had been standing in line waiting for my turn for a full two minutes, and this creature dared snatch my lunch?! That’s preposterous! I looked up at the bearer of the red gloves. I almost dropped my tray which was laden with other foods such as Chocolate Éclair Paste and Cherries Jubalee! It was she! The Space Faerie!

Quickly, I took out my Flexible Pencil and Yellow Notebook and asked the Space Faerie for a moment of her time. She was not taken at all by surprise, and I realized it was probably due to her telepathy.

Space Faerie: Yes. It’s true.

Unknown: Is it true? Are you telepathic?

Unknown: *shudders* Eek! How did you do that?! Just to make things simpler for one another, would you please answer my questions after I ask them.

Space Faerie: I get that a lot. You mortals are a complex race…

Unknown: I apologize if it’s such a strain…

Space Faerie: It’s not.

Unknown: So, erm, what’s with the red gloves?

Space Faerie: Is there something wrong with my red gloves? *eyes glow*

Unknown: *hesitates* Uh. No. Of course not.

Space Faerie: You may as well tell me. I can unmask your thoughts, remember?

Unknown: Right… Well… It’s just that red was so two years ago. Now, it’s green, pink, and purple.

Space Faerie: I see. Excuse me for not being up to date with this concept you mortals call “fashion.”

Unknown: Yeah. Well. About that… Why the blue hair? *scribbles in notebook*

Space Faerie: Oh! So it’s fine for Jhudora and Fyora to have purple hair, but I can’t have blue hair?! The hypocrisy! *folds arms*

Unknown: No, no. You misunderstood…

Space Faerie: Oh?

Unknown: Okie dokie. Let’s just leave the color and clothing questions…

So. Uh. Where are you, exactly, from?

Space Faerie: *points to self* Uh. Space Faerie! Space being the key word… Duh!

Unknown: I’ll not even bother…

Space Faerie: Funny. I knew you’d say that.

Unknown: Would you just stop it with that?!

Space Faerie: Ah, yes. My apologies. To answer the question that is currently formulating in your mind, however… Yes, this whole telepathy thing does get boring. In fact, it’s quite annoying that Dr. Frank Sloth still thinks he can evade me.

Unknown: Oh, yes. I can just imagine…

Space Faerie: And that Illusen girl! Don’t be fooled by her kind nature… The girl bears evil thoughts. You don’t even want to know what she does with all those quest items! By the way, have you ever tried reading Illusens Novel? She is so self-possessed!

Unknown: Mm hmm.

Space Faerie: Those other faeries are so conceited. That Taelia! She claims to be protecting Terror Mountain! Ha! Have you ever wondered what sort of fur that coat of hers is made of?! Well, I’ll just let you know that it’s certainly not synthetic!

Unknown: That’s horrible. *scribbles ferociously*

Space Faerie: The only remotely normal faerie would be the Fountain Faerie, but she shows lack of modesty in dress…

Unknown: *nods in agreement*

Space Faerie: You’re just agreeing because you’re intimidated, aren’t you?

Unknown: Erm. N-Yes.

Space Faerie: I thought so.

Unknown: So what do you do in your spare time when you aren’t rescuing Grundos, saving the space station or Kreludor, or fighting Dr. Sloth?

Space Faerie: Well, I am quite the bookworm. I believe that is the correct term used for someone who enjoys reading… My favorite books include Mathematics in Space, Adventures in Space, and Space and Magic.

Unknown: Ah ha! *holds up finger as if declaring something*

By the way, do your eyes always glow like that?

Space Faerie: Yes. *bats eyes*

Unknown: I was just wondering… Why do you not have larger wings like many of the other faeries?

Space Faerie: I was waiting for that question. You see, wings are used to propel one through air. Space is a vacuum and there is no air, hence there is no use for wings. These things are just there to make my life more difficult. Have you any idea of the maintenance required to keep them looking nice?

Unknown: I can just imagine…

Do you mind if I ask you a somewhat personal question?

Space Faerie: Being that I already know what it is, go ahead.

Unknown: *growl* Okay. What were you doing at the Virtupets Station? I mean, what were you planning on doing at Grundos— Food that is ... quite literally out of this world!?

Space Faerie: Well, in case you are so ignorant that you are unable to figure it out for yourself, I was trying to purchase my lunch!

Unknown: *ponders* That would make sense… Well, thank you so much for your time and I hope to see you around Neopia sometime. Please, enjoy your lunch break.

Space Faerie: Well, I’m not exactly going to have it anymore; the shop’s empty now.

Unknown: *looks around* That would probably be my fault…

Space Faerie: In that case! The Space Faerie wants you to get her 'Caramalised Blunkabean'!!

Unknown: *mutters* This would have been so much simpler if only I hadn’t interviewed her…

There you have it, folks! The mysterious Space Faerie! Please join us next week as we explore the other enigmas of Neopia! As for me, I need to go to the Quest Boards and get someone to find me a Caramalised Blunkabean. *bounces away*

Author’s Note: This interview was inspired by an actually Space Faerie quest. Unfortunately, my real encounter with her involved me spending 50,000 Neopoints and receiving the equivalent of a visit at Coltzan’s Shrine in return.

 
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