Now with 50% more useless text Circulation: 190,988,487 Issue: 588 | 29th day of Running, Y15
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

TextQuest vs. 4.1 -- April Fools!


by rielcz

--------

>Loading...

>>Loaded

You are highly stressed out. Why? It is none other than April Fools, and many of your friends have already come to pull some kind of prank on you.

You decided to make yourself some hot Borovan to try to relax you. Do you warm it for:

A) 30 seconds

B) 60 seconds

If Answer A) The milk is still too cool. This upsets you even more and you throw your cup toward the grounds, the glass shattering into many pieces on your linoleum floor. You decide to try again, but you have no more cups in your cupboard. Perhaps you should buy some.

Your score: 0 -- I hope you can do better...

If Answer B) The milk is the perfect warmth. You place in a most delectable piece of asparagus and have, quite miraculously if I may add, created some perfect looking Borovan. Good for you!

You seat yourself down in your comfy living room chair and, while you take a sip of your drink, gaze out of the window. You notice a red Aisha in a checkered dress bounding up the path to your house. You instantly recognize her as your acquaintance Susie. Setting down your Borovan, you hop over to the door and open it before she even gets on the step.

"Hey!" she calls as she runs faster. And then, she trips and falls, screaming as she tumbles down. "Can you help me up?" she finishes, her arm outstretched.

A) You choose not to help her, assuming this some form of April Fools prank.

B) You help her up as any friend would do, despite this likely being a prank.

If Answer A) You don't help her. My, you're not a very nice friend. The "Nice Police" -- a group which may actually be a prank unto themselves -- spring out from behind one of your bushes and arrest you. It may be unjustified, but you're helpless under the "Good Guys Court of Law."

Your score: 1 -- You're as good as a common Mootix...

If Answer B) You grab her paw like any nice friend would do. And then you get a severe shock from a hand buzzer. Yep, you were right all along -- this was just some April Fools prank.

You laugh at the trick despite it being totally unfunny from your point of view.

"April fools!" Susie yells in your face before waving a quick bye and leaving your yard, probably in search of some other poor soul to torment. Whoever it is, you hope they don't have heart issues. Like... an elderly Bruce. Pranking an elderly Bruce in such a manner today would be bad.

You return to your chair, now more nerve-wracked than ever. "It's OK," you mumble to yourself as you slowly rock back and forth -- you are being driven insane by this most wretched pseudo-holiday.

But then, you get an idea...

A) Let's go to the local disco joint down the street!

B) Come on! It's April Fools! Why not just go and prank your friends?

If Answer A) Yeah! It'll be like Y1 all over again! You leave your house in search of this fabled area devoted to the good times of the past. And, somehow, you manage to find the place without seriously injuring yourself. Good for you!

You try the door. What? Locked? That can't be right. You then realize there is a sign posted on the door:

"I'm sorry, but we are now closed on all pseudo-holidays. Sorry for the inconvenience."

Wide-eyed, you wail out a loud, "NOOOOOOOOOOO!" to no one in particular.

Perhaps you should have tried the Y2-themed restaurant right down the street...

Your score: 2 -- Congratulations! You are a prime number...

If Answer B) Yeah! You have to go and arrange the most elaborate scheme known to Neopian history; a prank so dark and convoluted, your friends will fear you to such an extent they will never pull an April Fool's Day antic on you again.

But now, what is the perfect plan? You take another sip of your oh-so-heavenly Borovan. And then another. You begin to feel sleepy... perhaps you should doze off for a short while and think of a prank later...

A) You fall asleep for a short while.

B) You fall asleep for a short while.

If Answer A) And, several hours later, you wake up. The haze that comes along with sleep gradually dissipates, and you come to the stunned realization that all your stuff is gone.

How absolutely wonderful! You assume this another prank, but then hear on the radio (that just happens not to be stolen and on for some reason) that the Aisha Thieves have been around, stealing stuff on their annual "April Fool's Attack!"

You sigh. "Curses," you mutter under your breath as you realize you should probably go down to the police station to report your things missing.

Your score: 3 -- You are an oscillating tower fan. Why? You always enjoyed your fan -- it was given to you by your mother when you moved out. And now its gone, poor you...

If Answer B) And, about half-an-hour later, you awake to a mind bursting with thoughts about how good your Borovan is. Haiku dedicated to your brew fill your mind;

My, this Borovan

Is very good, perfect for

Drinking and pranking

Pranking? And then it hits you -- you will somehow find a way to get all of your joker friends to hang, rather in a dangerous position if I may add, above a giant vat of the hottest, creamiest, most tantalizing and asparagus-filled hot Borovan you'll ever make...

Awesome!

But, where will you host this giant vat (and your epic prank)?

A) The Lost Desert

B) Roo Island

If Answer A) Oh yes, Lost Desert for the cup! Remember those epic discussions? Surely your friends will as well and they'll gladly go along with it. Wait, the Lost Desert didn't fare so well in the cup last year. Well, what else do they have? Pyramids, Gebs -- but those are just miniature and alive pyramids -- sand. Destruct-o -- wait, that's Tyrannia.

Hmm...

You invite your friends, and no one shows up.

Hurrah!

Your score: 4 -- You're a square, man!

If Answer B) Roo Island! It's the perfect place, isn't it? It's a been a year since it was re-done and redecorated, with new things springing (like the shop, get it?) up every now and again. There's always something nifty there...

And it's even incredibly easy to get to from Neopia Central, too; just go to the Coffee Shop through the arts district in the Catacombs, and when you exit it you'll be on Roo Island! An amazing feat in paradoxical technology!

You send every one of your friends an instant Neomail, masking yourself as the fabled King Roo. You even buy a few King Roo stamps from the Post Office to increase the authenticity!

Pretending to be Roo, you tell your friends about a giant vat of brown liquid in the center of the glade close to the Games Room, disrupting the normal flow of "Gummy Dice" that usually takes place there.

All but a select few (who were supposedly "busy" that afternoon -- busy pranking, no doubt) accept the challenge, ready to be there within a two-hour time frame.

Hooray!

Now you just need to go and set up your Borovan...

A) You buy some Borovan and a giant vat!

B) You make some Borovan and build a giant vat!

If Answer A) OK! Where are you going to buy Borovan from? The Food shop? The Coffee Shop? You decide to look around. The prices at both places seem so heavily inflated for what you get. Ah, well, the prank is most certainly worth the cost!

Now, for a giant vat... Perhaps one of the stores in Neopia Central would sell something as eccentric as that. After looking around, you find something that will do just fine at Fine Furniture (it appears to be some sort of bathtub, but much too big for actually putting in a Classic Neohome). You purchase it, spending the rest of the NP you have, and ask if they can deliver it to Roo Island. What? Deliveries cost 10% of the product?

Darn. You appear to be out of cash. Oh well.

Your score: 5 -- The halfway point! Still, do believe 50% is a grade to be proud of?...

If Answer B) You go down to the Food Store and ask the Chia there if he has any extremely cheap milk. He says he has some Vanilla Milkshakes that are pretty cheap, and they can be used as a substitute for milk. He wonders why you want them, and you, the boastful person you are, describe the entire scheme.

He adores it! He tells you that he's recently been getting pranked by a couple of teenage punks. If you message them and get the fiends to go along with your Roo Island gag, he'll give you all the Vanilla Milkshakes you want for free!

You accept; the pranksters decided to go along with it. And then you get free milk! Hoorah! The Chia even says he'll ship the supply over to the glade on Roo Island you described free of cost.

Now, a giant vat... heck, all you need it a ton of Metallic Motes and some Strong Forever Glue, both extremely cheap items found in the shops of fellow Neopians. To the Marketplace! With the help of a perhaps slightly deranged JubJub dressed in a child's wizard Halloween costume, you find said items for extremely cheap (and a few Blue Wheelbarrows to carry them in) and rush back to the Food Store.

The Chia is surprised to see you back. You tell him you were collecting parts for your vat. He gives you a puzzled look and tells you he sent over a giant metal dish he thought you would use.

"You have a giant metal dish?" you inquire, dumbfounded.

"Yes," he replies, "I used it when I made a giant supply of Green Jelly."

A) "Finally, another believer in Jelly World!" you exclaim.

B) You shake your head quickly and reply, "But, there's no such thing as Jelly World."

If Answer A) Immediately, a team of Meepits enter the doors of the giant burger and ransack the place, finishing their mission -- tying the two of you up and placing duct tape over your mouths before carting you away -- in approximately 3.14159 seconds. Hooray! Pie! A shame those darn Meepits stole all the pie in the store, however.

Your score: 6 -- ONG U LIEK GONNA GET EATED BY TEH MEEP MEEP U11U1DERP1UU...

If Answer B) He shrugs and you hurry out of his shop, quickly taking your motes and glue; you don't want to be around when the Meepits come after him.

Returning to your Neohome, you grab all of the hot chocolate powder and asparagus you have -- you've been hoarding the ingredients for a while -- and load them on top of the other supplies in the wheelbarrow. You rush down (quite literally, I may add) to the Coffee Shop in the Catacombs. The Shoyru barely has the time to ask what you want to order before you rush back out the doors and arrive on Roo Island.

You dash to the clearing you said the event would take place. Yep, the jelly-shaped vat is there, the many Vanilla Milkshakes floating around, combined together and heated to the point of steaming, in its metal cavity. Excellent!

You take your hot chocolate powder and dump it all in, can by can. It's tedious, but worth it. And then the asparagus -- ah, the vegetable makes the plan come to fruition...

Now, all you need it a net... But, oh my! You forgot it! What do you do now!

A) Go back to Neopia Central, to the Gift Shop, and to buy a Smug Bug Net Trap!

B) Look around here for a net.

If Answer A) You run and wait in line at the dock for the ferry that takes tourists back to the shore. You wait, and wait... but it never comes. Oh, accursed transit system!

Your score: 7 -- Do you think you're lucky? Apparently not...

If Answer B) You look around for a bit and then note your wheelbarrows full of Metallic Motes and super glue!

You think if you can use these in any way... and then it hits you. The Metallic Mote can change into different shapes! You go and ask them all if they can band together and morph into a net. Because you asked so nicely, they went and did just that!

Not just any net, either -- the spring-set loaded one, where, as soon as its stepped on, it tightens into a ball, capturing those inside. However, you tell your new net not to retract until you give the command. Your mote net sets itself on a high tree branch, many feet above the vat.

Very soon, your "guests" arrive. Good, your slightly obscure directions weren't too much for them. Regardless, they all look rather confused.

"Where's King Roo?" one of them asks.

"Hey, why do I know half you people?" Another says, to the nods of several others from the crowd.

You wait until they start wandering and looking around. When they're all above the net, you jump out from behind a bush you had hidden yourself and proclaim to the motes, "NOW!"

Before any of those pranksters know what's going on, the motes have them tied up and squished in their net. You laugh menacingly.

"This is my revenge!" you yell out to them as the net slowly lowers over the vat of steaming hot Borovan. "This is what you get for pranking me!" You conclude by mumbling, "Or the Chia," under your breath.

Everyone is filled with horror. "We're sorry!" they all shout. "Untie us!"

You think hard about the decision...

A) You decide to let your friends out.

B) You make them suffer the ultimate April Fools revenge...

If Answer A) You command the motes to let go of your friends on the soft grass beside your prank. They thank you. Alas, the pranksters very quickly (because of teamwork -- let that be a lesson to you kiddies *wink*) have you tied up in the same situation. Dancing merrily around you, they commence some form of ancient chanting.

"DARN YOU, APRIL FOOLS!" you yell into the open air, loud enough the entire island shakes at your bellow, just as you hit the hot Borovan below...

Your score: 8 -- Wow! You got pretty far. A genuine congrats (providing you make it out of the rich Borovan alive)...

If Answer B) You roll your eyes at their pleas for help. "No! This is payback for all you've caused me..." you trail as you gaze menacingly up at their helpless bodies.

The lot of them huddle together out of fear as the net continues to lower...

and lower...

and lower......

and lower.........

Until...

You yell, "STOP!" to the motes right as the very bottom of the metal touches the milk below.

Your guests look shocked, an expression that quickly resolves into elation. They are saved! Saved by the one who was about to doom them!

You command the net to let your friends drop on the soft grass beside the vat. They all get up, dust themselves off, and walk up to shake your hand.

"Great prank," one of them says.

"Awesome," said another. "And thanks for not going to far." The Kau winks at you.

Finally, Susie comes up. "Wow, that really was a most elaborate prank -- you disguised yourself as King Roo, and then... somehow used hot chocolate to try and get some form of revenge?" She laughs. "Man, we'll all have to try hard next year to beat that!" She smiles and walks away.

You smile too. Wait, what!?

A) It appears as though the prank has backfired.

B) It appears as though the prank has backfired.

If Answer A) You crouch into a ball and start to sob. Now, they'll all work harder next year to get you.

A Techo walks by carrying a skateboard. "Dude," he says in a skater-punk accent, "it's OK. Whatever it is, it'll get better." He offers his hand out to help you up.

Stifling sobs, you take it. And then you get a severe shock.

"April fools dude!" he laughs as he goes and walks away.

You feel the need to run up to him, take his skateboard, and bash his head several times... Nah, you'll just find out who he is and send him a Battledome request. At least doing that would be on the up and up...

Your score: 9 -- So, you had some fun, right? And who knows, maybe you'll turn out to be a Battledome Champion. Anything is possible...

If Answer B) You start sulking. Suddenly, however, you come to a stunned realization -- that whole "pranking" deal was kind of fun... nay, very fun.

You ponder this thought. If all your friends are going to try and one-up your prank next year, you had better do a better job then they! You start thinking of ideas for next year's prank...

Totally awesome!

Your score: 10 -- The top score of the game! A huge congrats. I hope you had fun playing! And remember -- revenge is sweet, but ice cream is sweeter. Yay! Let's all go to the Super Happy Icy Fun Snow Shop for Brucicles to celebrate your win!

Play again soon!

>>EXIT

>>N:\

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

So Says the Slorg!!!
Why I am not allowed to have good things from Random Events.

by supercheezee

---------

Misadventures of a Neopian Times Reporter X
"Sooooooooo," I said, drawing out the word because I was nervous. "Why does Buzz want to see me today?"

by kristykimmy

---------

Shadows of the Past
"Do you think we can make up for mistakes in our past?"

by blackghoulmon

---------

Everyone Loves the Undead: Part Six
"People are transforming into monsters, and it's only a matter of time until they get here!"

by herdygerdy



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.