This is a prequel to how Rimmer became a Holopet and a Moon Goddess Guardian.
_A_J_Rimmer_ the brown Grundo walked into his bunk frowning.
He had in his hand a book called "Learn to Speak Diddler in Just 4 Weeks" He
read it aloud over and over. The Grundo wore a green Virtupet's uniform that
had the Virtupet's symbol on the chest pocket. His Diddler, Holly, followed
On the top bunk, which was covered with Zurroball
posters, sat a Green Grundo. This Grundo wore a stained yellow Zurroball tee
under an open Mystery Island Shirt, stained green uniform pants and a black
hat. His brown dreadlocks stuck out the back of the hat.
These two Grundos worked on the Virtupet's Space
Station as Neocola Machine repair men. It was their job to keep them working
for the other Grundos and Dr. Sloth.
"Rimmer, you're never going to learn to speak
Diddler," the green Grundo said.
Rimmer just ignored the other Grundo and kept
reading the book aloud to himself. Holly buzzed by as if to try and help.
"It says it takes four weeks and yet you've been
reading it for, like, four years. Get over it, Rimmer." The green Grundo shook
his head and he laid back on his bunk. His petpet Meowclops, Frankenstein, jumped
into his lap.
Holly spun around and buzzed, "Yeah, Dude." Rimmer
looked down like he had no idea what the Diddler said. Lister had to hold in
Rimmer put the book down and scowled. "I'll have
you know, Lister, that I have learned how to speak Diddler. I've only been reading
it aloud to broaden you."
"Sure, Rimmer," Lister laughed.
Rimmer sat on his bunk that was under Lister's.
"Why are you here Lister? The Grundos were freed a long time ago. You no longer
have to serve Dr. Sloth. As you know, I stay because I always wanted to serve."
"I still need the Neopoints. One day I hope to
move to Maraqua," he said happily.
Rimmer's face looked so confused. "You do know
that Maraqua is under the ocean, Lister."
Lister looked confused for a second too, and
then smiled. "Yeah, but it's cheap."
"So, do you plan to grow gills of some kind then,
Lister?" Rimmer chuckled.
"No…don't worry about me, Rimmer. At least I
don't do everything Dr. Sloth tells me."
Rimmer just frowned. He always did what he was
ordered to do. It was something that he felt he had to do. It made him feel
like he was worth something. "At least I take orders. It's more than I can say
Soon over the P.A. System they could hear, "_A_J_Rimmer_
to Dr. Sloth's office at once!"
Rimmer jumped off his bunk and headed out without
even looking at Lister. Holly buzzed as fast as the Diddler could go behind
Once at the office Rimmer walked in. He did a
funny salute to Dr. Sloth and said, "Yes, Sir. Is the Neocola Machine of the
Dr. Sloth grinned a wide and scary grin. "Why,
yes it is. I need you to try this can." Dr. Sloth handed the brown Grundo a
can of Neocola.
Holly again spun around and buzzed. "Don't try
it, Arnie. It's a trap." Rimmer frowned but didn't listen.
Rimmer took the can with a nod. He wasn't sure
why Dr. Sloth would want him to try it. It was an order and he had to obey.
Rimmer took a swig from the already open can. Right away he felt strange. It
was as if the space station was spinning. The can fell out of his hand as he
fell to the floor.
"How do you feel, Rimmer? The can had a Rainbow
Swirly Potion in it. Not sure how it got there." The doctor began to laugh.
Rimmer had changed. Only a few things were noticeable
right away. His uniform was no longer green. Instead it was brown and had a
gold crescent moon the upper left arm and on the tie. His forehead now had a
white "H" on it. He also now had a gold crescent moon birth type mark on his
belly. The biggest thing that had happened was the worst.
Rimmer tried to touch Holly but his hand went
right through the petpet. This caused Holly to leave in a hurry. Rimmer stood
up and saluted Dr. Sloth. Dr. Sloth smiled. "It is time for you to leave us,
_A_J_Rimmer_ , I no longer require your services and neither does the station.
Go on the next shuttle to Neopia and have a good life."
Rimmer frowned and left the office. He found
his way to his bunk. "What happened to you, Rimmer? You look like death warmed
over. Hol is frantic," Lister said. The Diddler was spinning around Lister with
his lights flashing. Lister jumped from his bunk and tried to help Rimmer. The
brown Grundo fell right through Lister. "Gah!"
"I'm not sure, Lister. All I know is I was fired!
Me fired! Even you've never been fired," Rimmer shouted.
Lister didn't know what to make of all of this.
His bunk mate was go-through-able, fired and had a new uniform. It made no sense
"I'm sure it will all be okay, Rimmer. I'll take
you to Neopia if you want," Lister offered with a smile. At that moment Rimmer
hated that smile. He never thought he could hate a smile as much as that one.
The slob was keeping his job but he was fired. It wasn't right to Rimmer.
Lister, with Frankenstein, Rimmer and Holly all
went on a shuttle to Neopia. It was all Rimmer could do to keep from crying.
He didn't know what he was going to do now. All he knew was how to fix Neocola
Machines and to serve Dr. Sloth.
"Good luck Rimmer! Take care of him Hol,' Lister
"I hope you get to move to Maraqua, Lister."
The brown Grundo managed to say with clenched teeth. Lister waved as the shuttle
took the green Grundo and his petpet back to the Station.
"What now, Holly?" Rimmer asked his petpet.
Holly buzzed and beeped, "We find the Moon Goddess
"We…what? I lied to Lister! I don't really speak
Diddle!" Rimmer yelled and tried to kick Holly but his foot only went through
the petpet which caused him to fall.
"As the Diddler said, you find the Moon Goddess,"
an odd voice said. Rimmer picked himself up and saw a Lenny holding an old browning
book with a gold crescent moon on the cover, Zafara and Lupe looking down at
Holly buzzed happily. "That's what I said."
"Moon Goddess?" Rimmer asked not knowing who
they were or what was happening.
* * *
Back at the Space Station Dr. Sloth looked at
a mutant Grundo. "Keep an eye on that little Grundo. He may lead us to General
Methos and to the Moon Goddess."
"Yes, Sir!" the Grundo said, and walked away.
"I'm glad there were two copies of this," Dr.
Sloth said as he looked at a book that looked like the one the Lenny had.