Horrors of the Bathroom
"What is it?"
"It looks like some kind of Halloween prop. Is
it Halloween already?"
"No, you dork. It's February! Besides, Kat knows
what she's doing…right?"
Four pets were in a bathroom with their owner,
all staring at a weird new toilet their owner acquired for a bargain. Apparently
these days, Kat was very interested in finding stuff for lower prices…and her
pets obviously didn't like the new addition to their Neohome.
"The name fits the item," said Fluffy the white
Aisha. "Spooky Toilet." Sure enough, she and her siblings could see that the
horrible gray and black toilet did not only have huge teeth that displayed themselves
when anyone raised the cover, but also horrible red lips that did not complement
the creepy aura emanating from the thing.
Angel hid behind his owner. "It's evil," he whispered.
"I don't like it."
"Come on, guys," said Kat earnestly. "Now how
bad can it be? It's not like it will drown, bite or smite us, right? It's just
The split Poogle behind her whimpered, "Yeah,
it might eat us!"
Five minutes later, Glitter looked up from where
she was reading the latest issue of the Neopian Times. The faerie Acara stood
up and hovered towards the door of the bathroom. She turned the knob gently
and found herself staring at a normal-looking ensemble…normal except for the
"Well, it doesn't hurt to try, right?" she said
to herself, lifting the lid. It looked like a huge ugly mouth waiting to swallow
up the next one who'd sit on it. Glitter saw a small ripple in the pool of water
move gently. She thought nothing of it, until the water slowly began to swirl.
The Acara was mesmerized by the flow at first, until the toilet began to shake.
She gasped and backed away towards the wall in
horror. "What's going on?" she whispered, as if talking to the toilet itself.
The rattling caused some water droplets to rise and drop, causing Glitter to
panic even more. She zoomed out of the bathroom in fright, and back into the
living room, crashing into her older brother Sweet on the sofa.
"Glitter, what has gotten into you?" he asked
as the faerie Acara toppled on him, causing the Kacheek to drop the action figure
he'd been playing with a few moments ago.
"Toilet…possessed…undead…ALIVE!" she managed
to choke out. Sweet's younger sister was shivering violently and her eyes had
a haunted look in them.
Immediately Sweet pushed Glitter aside and picked
up his Lost Desert Dagger. "I knew that thing was trouble," he said grimly.
He and the faerie Acara tiptoed closer to the
dreaded bathroom. The striped Kacheek slowly approached the door and turned
the knob gingerly. At last they were in, and Sweet raised his weapon for defense,
bracing for the kill.
"Do you see it?" asked Glitter, who was cowering
behind her brother.
Sweet turned to her. "It's all right, sis. Your
stupid imagination just went wild, that's all…as usual…"
The Acara rounded on him. "But I didn't imagine
it! It really happened!"
"Yeah, it did, all right. It happened in your
mind!" The Kacheek started to laugh. "Oh, Glitter, how wild can your imagination
get? That toilet wouldn't hurt a Buzzer! Besides, I think I'm going to like
it because it's so handy for scaring cowardly little sisters!"
She opened her mouth again to complain, but closed
it instantly as she glanced at the Spooky Toilet. "Uh, Sweet…" she began.
"What, is the bathtub going to come alive and
take us for a spin around the block?" he said mockingly. "Come now, bathroom
stuff will never - "
He was interrupted by a loud rumbling sound.
The floor underneath his feet began to shake violently. The toilet began emitting
gurgling sounds and the water seemed to bubble up from within.
"This is not good," said Sweet, his eyes focused
on the turbulent toilet. "Maybe it wasn't your imagination after all, Glitter
"OF COURSE IT WASN'T!" she yelled, hovering as
far as possible from the spooky thing. "Now what do we do, genius?"
He drew the Lost Desert Dagger. "I say we fight
it!" He jammed his weapon straight down into the swirling waters and the gurgling
ceased. Sweet exchanged a look with Glitter as the tremors stopped as well.
"Did we win?" she asked sheepishly, looking at
the dagger in the toilet.
Suddenly growling came from nowhere. She and
the striped Kacheek stared at the trembling toilet. The water began bubbling
around Sweet's prized possession and started to very closely resemble a fountain.
They were too struck dumb to move.
And before they could even think of moving, a
huge jet of water shot right out, like being fired from a cannon. Glitter screamed,
and Sweet pushed her away from the flowing rage of the toilet.
"It's after us! Don't let it take me!" she cried.
"We're not going to let it take anyone!" her
brother yelled as it spewed another burst of bubbling water, so that the floor
was now an inch flooded. He grabbed the Acara's paw and ran out of the door.
They found Angel the Poogle and Fluffy standing right there.
"We thought we heard noises," explained the white
Aisha. "So Angel and I decided to investigate."
"Quit investigating and help us stop the bathroom
menace Kat bought for a bargain!" shouted Glitter, pointing to it, which was
now blasting more water jets like a timed fountain. It was trembling again,
and so was the bathroom floor.
Angel shuddered. "What do we do?"
"Maybe we should plug it!" said Fluffy.
"Tried it…with my poor Lost Desert Dagger," moaned
Sweet as he got sprayed with the toilet's wet ammo.
The Poogle's face fell. "But most toilets hate
getting plugged up!" he said loudly, over the howl of the wind that began to
blow into the window. "And now we're getting special effects along with the
obnoxious thing from someone's bargain store!"
"Maybe we need a different approach," said Glitter.
"Should we take Sweet's dagger out?"
"YOU do it!" said Angel, watching the toilet
"Fine!" The Acara stepped forward, breathed a
bit, and plunged her paw into the bowl. She began to tug with both paws, with
Sweet grabbing at her waist. Soon the weapon was out of the crossfire and back
in the Kacheek's grip.
"What's next?" asked Sweet. "Everything's trembling,
windy, wet and that toilet won't stop making its impersonation of a fountain!"
Fluffy gasped. "Fountain…fountain…THAT'S IT!
Sweet, grab your old Kacheek Extinguisher! It can attack with fire, right? Good!
Now, go!" At her words he waded over to the door and shut it before the hallway
got flooded as well.
Glitter turned to her older sister. "But what
do we do now? We're left here with a mutated bathroom necessity that will drown
us in minutes if we don't do anything!" A huge spout of water emanated from
the bowl and fell, splashing them all before she could finish her sentence.
Angel kicked the toilet. It spit up a smaller
jet and drenched the Poogle. He hopped up and down on one foot and muttered,
"Well, that didn't work, but it works if you want some pain in your toe." Fluffy
and Glitter traded a look.
"We're doomed," declared the faerie Acara, flopping
down onto the flooded floor. "I can't go for help through that window, it's
"We don't have to," said the white Aisha. "Because
we've got Sweet! He's back!"
The three siblings saw their big brother run
in with a bright red weapon in his paws and yell, "This toilet's going down
in two shakes of a Goldy's tail!" The striped Kacheek directed the nozzle of
the extinguisher towards the bowl, where the water was still slopping and churning
wildly. It made Sweet a little sick to watch the turbulent little ocean within,
but he flipped the switch and let loose with a blast of fire.
Angel let out a big whoop. "Go Sweet! That thing
doesn't have a chance!"
Glitter nodded and added, "I just hope he knows
what he's doing."
The trio watched in amazement and trepidation
as the spout of water slowly died down. Even the quakes and wind came to a screeching
halt as the Kacheek continued blasting the toilet with the weapon. However,
it was the toilet that had begun to shake as the violent waters calmed. Fluffy
quickly pulled Sweet away from the trembling horror.
"I think it's going to blow!" yelled the white
"Take cover!" added Glitter, hopping into the
bathtub and covering her ears. Sweet and Fluffy backed away against the dripping
wall, and Angel scrambled under the sink, shivering with fright.
With a deafening, shattering noise, the toilet
exploded, sending water everywhere. Surprisingly, instead of flying bits and
pieces from the aftermath, the nervous, frightened pets saw a pile of wet gray
ashes, still smoking slightly.
Everyone's mouths hung open at the sight. "Is
it safe?" whimpered Angel, crawling out from his hiding place. "It could suddenly
eat us up!"
"Get real, ashes can't eat stuff!" said Fluffy,
walking over and bending over the remains of the horrific incident in the bathroom.
"What's going on? Why are you all in the - hey!
Why is everyone and everything dripping wet?" Kat peeked inside and stared,
wide-eyed at the state of the bathroom, her pets and the new toilet.
"It tried to attack us!" cried Angel, running
and throwing his paws around his owner's knees. "We stopped it and now the toilet's
all in ashes!"
"Have your imaginations been running loose again?"
asked the girl, her eyes shifting from Glitter and Fluffy, to Sweet and his
"But - " the faerie Acara began.
"Kat - " added the white Aisha.
Their owner shook her head. "Well, whatever it
is, one thing's for sure. We're getting a new toilet."
Her pets cheered. Glitter flew and did a somersault
"Let's go find a good bargain on a second-hand
one!" said Kat, walking back outside the bathroom.
Sweet, Fluffy, Glitter and Angel all froze in
their tracks and stared at the retreating back of their owner.
"Can't we just get a nice Fancy Toilet instead,
with double the price and double the safety?" groaned the split Poogle.