Where there's a Weewoo, there's a way Circulation: 179,513,175 Issue: 443 | 14th day of Hunting, Y12
Home | Archives Articles | Editorial | Short Stories | Comics | New Series | Continued Series
 

Top 10 Grooming Supplies to AVOID


by a_l2n_l2n_a

--------

We all know the proud owner of the Grooming Parlour tries her best to sell us products that keep us and our pets clean and pretty. This can be proven through many pretty Neopets who I cannot list in this article all at once, such as Lulu, Princesses Vyssa, Amira, Fernypoo and Lunara! Sadly, not all grooming supplies work miracles. In fact, there are some that do nothing more than damage your pets' fur, not to mention their self-esteem. What's worse is that while scrolling through the past issues of the Neopian Times, no other users had written articles on the dangers of some of these products! That's why I, a_l2n_l2n_a (you can call me Moonbeam), have decided to write this article. Oh, and if this article is being read by the Grooming Parlour Usul or someone else who is very close to her, let me say I'm sorry if your sales plummet. Sorry!

10.) Kau Milk Bath Bar

Item description: Best not to check the ingredients on this soap.

Why is it bad?: You know, there are pets who are lactose-intolerant even though their default pet-lookups do not mention such. With this bath bar being made of actual Kau milk, such pets could develop a terrible reaction to this soap. This is also not safe for baby pets who currently go on a diet of milk, for obvious reasons.

9.) Orange Mouthwash

Item description: Now your breath can smell like an orange.

Why is it bad?: Nobody likes the taste of orange juice mixed with mint, right? If you've never tried it, I suggest two things: one, that you never try it, and two, that you NEVER use this mouthwash. Upon looking at the contents on the back, it states two main ingredients that will make any pet cringe: mint extract and orange concentrate. Not that having an all-natural mouthwash fruit ingredient will make a difference, but you'll still hate the taste that will linger in your mouth for hours!

8.) Pea Flavoured Toothpaste

Item description: Perfect if you don't like the taste of mint. It does make your teeth green, though. :(

Why is it bad?: Who would want a toothpaste that dyes your teeth? Nobody, that's who. And what makes this toothpaste's reputation even worse is the taste. Sure, everyone likes peas, we can agree on that, but seriously, PEA-flavoured? Next time, go with bubble-gum flavoured.

7.) Cooler Than You Perfume

Item description: Whew, this will send a chill through the air.

Why is it bad?: You can't really call this item a perfume if it doesn't smell like anything. In fact, it's just ice-cold water! When you spray this on yourself or on your pet, please be extremely careful because you never know if your pet might catch Sneezles, or even Neomonia from the chilled air that is sent from this bottle.

6.) Detangle Comb

Item description: Unfortunately you have to detangle this comb before you use it... oh, wait... this comb will detangle you! Well, at least your hair.

Why is it bad?: This comb isn't really as bad as it is confusing to handle. For starters, look at the description; how could it untangle you altogether? How could you untangle this comb? And does it really untangle fur/hair? I really wouldn't take the risk, if I were you.

5.) Faerie Glitter Gel

Item description: A snazzy gel for your hair... or teeth. We are not sure. Give it a try and let us know!

Why is it bad?: This gel is one of the reasons why products should be tested before they're put on the market. If TNT doesn't know if whether it's for your hair/fur or for your teeth, then neither do we. And somehow, I don't know, and I want to find out. Ever.

4.) Gravy Shampoo

Item description: Nothing says clean like bottled turkey drippings!

Why is it bad?: Seriously, who in Neopia would want their hair/fur to be mistaken for a common holiday condiment? Well, someone who wants to dress up as a Gobbler for Halloween and wanted it to make it more convincing, but still, this shampoo is pretty much worthless in general. One more thing: TNT didn't call it GRAVY shampoo for nothing; it's made of real leftover gravy! Same goes for the conditioner, too.

3.) Invisible Nail Clippers

Item description: If you have a steady hand and can handle a bit of blood, these might get the job done.

Why is it bad?: These nail clippers are NOT for the faint of heart or the squeamish at the sight of blood. It's pretty obvious TNT was having fun creating these ridiculous items, this being one of them. Plus, when you need your nails/claws clipped ASAP and there isn't another pair of clippers in the house, where would you find this one? Don't try these at home, kids.

2.) Meepit Mirror

Item description: Admire your reflection and get freaked out by the staring Meepit at the same time!

Why is it bad?: *shudders* We all know Meepits are trying to take over Neopia as we speak. This mirror will make any pet who is afraid of those creepy little suckers have nightmares for weeks. Maybe even months. Who knows? It may even scar them for life.

1.) Snot Toothpaste

Item description: This toothpaste will have you running to your toilet with your hand cupped over your mouth!

Why is it bad?: At #1 in the countdown, the item description says it all. The thing being about this toothpaste is that you don't know whose snot it is. Maybe your neighbor's, Meuka's perhaps, or it could even be your own! Gross! This item is definitely a waste of neopoints if it makes your poor pet gag at the very sight of it.

Well, that's all the supplies to be avoided I have to list here. Once again, I apologize if sales drop at the Grooming Parlour, but there are some things that are just not worth buying.

 
Search the Neopian Times




Great stories!


---------

Wildfire's Friend
Can I keep it?

by 0okamiseishin

---------

Diary of Drama
"Seriously, I sit down for two seconds, and suddenly everyone surrounds me and chats up a storm!" I grumbled.

by drama4ever_6

---------

Professor Mootix
Eureka!

by molzypoo

---------

Splat a Slorg
Mmmmm...

by clockblock



Submit your stories, articles, and comics using the new submission form.