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The Art of Potato Counting


by susankidwell

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If you have ever been in Meridell, you have most likely stopped by the Potato Counter shack. I mean, why not? It’s a quick and easy way to earn a few neopoints, right? WRONG. Potato Counter is by far one of the hardest games in Neopia, aside from Fashion Fever. Those darn clothes always get me...

Anyways, since Potato Counter is just so hard, I, being the great reporter that I am, decided to help you with all your potato-counting woes. Having trouble counting, seeing, etc. with potatoes? It’s all right here!

History

Potato Counter started up a few years ago when Farmer Alton Moughbry decided that he needed a little help counting the many potatoes he grows on his farm each year. So he rounded up all his farmer friends, and they came up with the idea of having tourists come and count his potatoes for a small reward. Alton built a shack to host his game in, and soon enough it became the most popular game in Meridell.

Nowadays, Alton has a bit more fun when tourists come to count his potatoes, sometimes giving them never-ending satchels of spuds, not letting them leave until they finish counting them. However, it still remains just as popular as it was back in the days when Kacheeks were Badeeks and you could go to your friends’ theme parks.

How to Play

Potato Counter is very hard to play. First of all, you need to be sure you have your eyes and your brain with you. Without eyes, you won’t be able to see potatoes, and without a brain, you won’t be able to process the fact that you are seeing potatoes. After you’re sure you brought along your eyes and brain, you go up to Farmer Moughbry and ask politely if you may please count his taters. He will on most occasions reply yes to this, and then he will present you with a satchel of potatoes. You will then proceed by dumping the potatoes out onto the ground by turning the bag upside-down. Once all the potatoes are on the ground, use your eyes to count the potatoes. After you have finished counting potatoes, use your mind to remember the number and tell that number to Farmer Moughbry. If you got it right, the farmer will reward you with some neopoints and you will go on your merry way through Meridell. If you got it wrong... well, I’d rather not think about that. Not a fun experience.

Counting Basics

If you wish to play Potato Counter, you must first know how to count. I know, I know, this is where that game gets me all the time. So to help with any problems you may come across when counting, I have made a list of numbers from 1 to 72.

I can just see your face right about now. I can just hear you asking me, “Why 72?” Well, duh—because 72 is such a darn spiffeh number, that’s why!

Anyways, without further ado, here is the list:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72

“What if I come across a bag with more than 72 potatoes in it?” is what you’re asking. I just know it, because I just know that kind of thing. Well, if you come across a bag with more than 72 potatoes in it, you’re in trou-ble. Because, well, since 72 is so spiffeh, I never bothered to figure out how to count any further than that. Sorry ‘bout that...

Potato: What’s That?

In case you have no idea what a potato is, I will go find my trusty old dictionary and tell you what it is. Just so you don’t start counting the patches on Farmer Moughbry’s clothing instead.

Alright. My trusty old dictionary says that a potato is “A South American plant widely cultivated for its starchy edible tubers”. How interesting.

You want to know what a potato looks like, is that it? Yes? Here you go:

There. A happy little potato. There are other varieties of taters, so don’t go just counting potatoes that look like that, as you will have skipped most of Farmer Moughbry’s potatoes and you won’t get your big cash prize!

An Interview with the Farmer Himself

Because I felt like I needed some insider information, I tried to schedule an interview with Farmer Moughbry. However, Farmer Moughbry was unavailable every single time I tried to reach him, I had to resort to an interview with one of his potatoes.

Susankidwell: Hello there.

Potato: *silence*

S: I SAID HELLO THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!1!1!

P: Oh. Hello.

S: Oh. Hi.

P: Yes?

S: I’m here to interview you. So... what’s it like being counted?

P: ...

S: So...

P: Um. I just kinda sit there.

S: How come you can talk?

P: I just... can. Any more questions?

S: Yes. What happens after you get counted?

P: The farmer has us counted a couple more times. After about ten to fifteen times, he sells us off to Merifoods.

S: Do you know what happens there?

P: No, and I’d rather not think about it.

Farmer: C’mon, Potato Number 79872464, your turn to be counted!

S: Hey, I thought you said you were on a business trip today...

F: Time to go! See ya!

Well... that didn’t go too well.

The MONEY!

Each time you count the potatoes correctly, Farmer Moughbry will kindly reward your efforts with 75 Neopoints. Although now that I think about it, I wonder how he knows that you counted them correctly? Oh well, I won’t get into that. I’ll try to take some time out of my... busy schedule... to write a rant about that.

Anyways, I have no clue where he gets the funds to pay you off, but somehow he has millions stashed away somewhere that he uses to pay you to count potatoes for him. The payout for this game if you count correctly every single time is 225 Neopoints. Enough to buy, um, more potatoes at Merifoods! Yay for potatoes!

In Conclusion

In conclusion, Potato Counter could very well be the hardest game to play in the history of Neopia. Throughout the course of this article, we have learned many useful subjects such as the history of Potato Counter, how to count to 72, and a potato’s view on being counted. If you would like any more information on this completely interesting and not boring at all subject, go play the game for yourself. Seriously, did you think I was going to recommend you something stupid like reading the Neopedia or searching for other articles on the subject? Really. I’m not that dumb.

Well, I hope you have learned how to be a better potato counter. I wish you luck on all your potato counting excursions!

 
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