NEOPIA CENTRAL - Different owners have told me terrible stories on how their
precious neopets have wanted so badly to be painted Faerie, that they've actually
came up with their own ideas. I know what you`re thinking: How can that be terrible?
Uh, maybe reading this article was a bad idea. *prepares to hit back button*
Okay wait! Keep reading, please! Anyway, this is terrible because all the different
experiments have ended up to be one thing: The Neopian Hospital. See, isn`t
that terrible? *crickets chirping* Anyway, to prevent your neopets from trying
to fly, I`ve compiled a list of different methods the common neopet would use,
and a few ways to prevent them.
This is probably the most popular, and one of the most dangerous ways your
neopet can try to fly. They usually jump out of windows ranging from the height
of the first story... to, the eleventh. Also, most neopets use feathers and
paper to make a flimsy set of wings for themselves. Here`s how to prevent it:
1. Hide all the paper and feathers in locked drawers. Most girl neopets
will avoid making wings if they can`t make them pretty by using proper supplies.
2. Super glue all the windows shut. This should work very well, as long
as you make sure to buy yourself an AC for summer.
3. Lay out trampolines and foam mattresses around your yard, covering
every inch of grass. Too bad your lawn might turn into a fun playground for
all the neighborhood pets.
4. Sit down with your neopet(s) and tell him or her (or them) that jumping
out of windows in order to fly isn`t a good idea.
EXPENSIVE FLYING LESSONS
Another way your neopet might try to fly is by forcing a Pteri to teach them
how. Pteri aren`t stupid, so they would most-likely require a large sum of neopoints.
This would be costly, considering your neopet would probably keep taking lessons
until it learns to fly. That would go on forever. Here`s how to prevent it:
1. Demand your neopet to never talk to any Pteri. This probably won`t
work, because there are lots of other flying neopets out there.
2. Keep your neopet indoors.
3. When your neopet goes to each flying lesson, make sure it is wearing
lots of protective padding, and don`t forget to tie squishy pillows around its
4. Schedule lots of other activities. That way your neopet won`t be
able to go to flying class, because it will have to go to cheese hat making
SOARING WITH THE WIND
Some neopets might tape themselves to kites and ask someone else to hold onto
the tail and run, then let go. Trees are often a tough obstacle to get around,
so your neopet might end up slamming into one. Here`s how to prevent it:
1. Every time your neopet comes home from neoschool with a kite that
it made, run around screaming, then quickly burn a fire with it. When your neopet
starts to cry that you destroyed its art project, cheer him or her up by bringing
out a bag of ghost marshmallows and toasting them over the fire.
2. Refuse to let your neopet play with any of their friends that own
3. If you`re poor, then forget preventing this idea, just volunteer
to be the one at the other end of the kite, and steer your neopet toward the
Money Tree. You`ll be rich in no time!
4. Try to pass a law that kites should be banned from Neopia!
What I mean by "Helium Travel" is your neopet might discover a way to fly that
from a child`s point of view, is fool-proof. So, your neopet would tie two or
more helium balloons to themself (outside of course) and float up into the air.
This could be very dangerous because for one, the balloons will only hold your
neopet for a certain amount of time before they pop, sending your helpless pet
to the hard ground. Number two, your neopet could start off in Neopia Central,
and end up in the Space Station in a month... very dangerous. Anyway, here`s
how to prevent it:
1. Pop every helium balloon in your household, and forbid your pets
from getting one and bringing it home.
2. Sit down with your pet(s) and show him or her (or them) a movie on
how trying to fly with balloons is extremely dangerous, and what the outcome
will most-likely become.
3. If your pet brings home a helium balloon, at night when everyone
is sleeping, dress up like an Aisha thief and steal the balloon before it becomes
an influence to any balloon-flying-like behavior.
4. If you`re REALLY desperate, steal a potato from Potato Counter, bake
it, and run around your neighborhood with it on your head, singing:
BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA, BLA,
This will got you no where, but I just felt like putting it.
* * * * * * *
If all else fails, why not get your neopet`s mind off flying by buying it a
petpet (preferably one WITHOUT wings). The responsibility of the petpet will
hopefully distract it from trying to fly, and everything will be perfect. Here`s
a list of high-maintenance (your neopet has to have a lot to do to get its mind
off flying), petpets:
1. Warf. These little guys are extremely cute, and will be a nice companion
for your pet. They might not require as much work or responsibility... too bad,
they really are cute!
2. Doglefox. They are cute, hyper, compassionate, a great companion...
everything your neopet would want!
3. Pfish. This type of petpet is a definate prankster! They`ll be a
handfull for any neopet, but extremely fun for a fun-loving one!
4. Babaa. If your neopet tends to be a bit shy, why not match its personality
with an adorable Babaa! These petpets will hide under your pet`s bed when they
get scared, and your neopet will often have to work out a way to get them out.
5. Noil. The Noil is a fun-loving, bouncy companion that`s personality
is very colorful! They get along with most pets very well, and are the farthest
thing from lazy.
6. Floud. Flouds are very interesting creatures. Their description
states that generally, they just do nothing but float around. Not much work
for your neopet... right? No, not right. Your neopet would have to watch them
constantly, making sure they don`t just float out an open window or door. Also,
Flouds are what you could call extremely allergic to carrots. Besides watching
just where they float, your pet would have to make sure their Floud doesn`t
get into a bag of carrots.
7. Primella. Primella are delicate, beautiful petpets. Your neopet
would have to supply them with lots of care in order to keep their scales looking
absolutely fabulous! They make a great entry to any petpet show! (Another thing
to keep your pet`s mind off flying!)
8. Symol. The Symol is sweet and cute, but they might be a lot to handle
for your pet. They LOVE to burrow in places they shouldn`t be... your pet would
have to keep them in line, or else you`ll have burrows in everything you own.
9. Jinjah. Your pet would have to supply these athletic petpets with
a lot of running space. They just need to run, run, run all the time!
10. Felf. Similiar to the Pfish, Felfs are very mischeivous. They love
playing practical jokes on people and pets... so watch out!
Well, this concludes my "A No Flying Zone" article! I hope you`re satisfied,
and I hope your neopet will be safe, and you`ll know just what to do if it decides
it wants to fly! Once again, this is cibercat9000 signing off!