Monotony Mayhem: How To Survive

"I see tons of Neopians run out of here, screaming. I don't know what drove them mad... whether it was their own intolerence or the wheel itself." -Chuck Chomby

"Oh, yeah, it causes hysteria. I live right next to the wheel, so I hear all sorts of teeth grindin'." -Olin Omelette

Others argue that the Wheel of Monotony is fine, and the insanity is fictional.

"No one goes crazy while waiting for that wheel. Everyone is perfectly patient for their Neopoints, blessings, items, or whatever. The rumors are utter nonsense." -Gretta Grrarl.

"I'm sleeping most of the time. I couldn't care less. Besides... I live in Meridell. And hearing doesn't really get better with age, y'know...." - The Turmaculus

Oh well. Whether you are patient for the Wheel of Most-Likely-Not-Ony, I have made a complete list of how to pass the time. Enjoy!

1. Read an article on how to pass the time when spinning the Wheel of Monotony. *cough* cough*

2. Play other games with your Neopets so that you will not be completly broke after paying the wheel's 100 neopoint fee.

3. Adopt a Grundo -- they need your tender, loving care. After all, it's not easy being an alien outcast... or having suction cups.

4. Eat an Ultimate Burger. Between the fat and grease rests a layer of love.

5. Visit the Money Tree. It's always fun learning that someone took a rare item while you were "pondering".

6. Complete Jhudora's Quests. Her insults are oh-so friendly.

7. Grab some omelette. Run. No one will know it was you.

8. Hop over to Jelly World. Wait... Jelly World? I must be hallucinating. Everyone knows that there is no such thing as Jelly World!

9. Find a way to get that avatar you've been drooling over. Then, get a towel to clean up your slobber.

10. Give your Neopet a makeover with Gold Eyeshadow, Skunk Lipstick, an Aisha Scarf, a pair of Wellington Boots, a Blue Kacheek Group Hat, Bowtie, and any other mix-matched items that you can think of.

11. Cross your fingers and hope that your Neopet will not get made fun of (see number 10).

12. Wish for a Baby Paint Brush at the Wishing Well. Then, listen carefully for the maniac laughter coming from inside the well.

13. Donate to a gallery or shop. *wink* Look at mine *wink*

14. Vote in the Beauty Contest and marvel at the other Neopets' stunning beauty. Then go wallow in self-pity.

15. Check the Stock Market and act like you know what you're doing.

16. Learn to speak Petpet.

17. Go around the Neoboards, poking people in their virtual spleens. If you get called a n00b, neomail me.

18. Invite random people to your guild. It will annoy them to no end.

19. Book your Neopet a stay at the Neolodge. But, under absolutely no circumstances should you make a reservation at Cockroach Towers. They will be scarred for life. Trust me.

20. Stop by to the food shop and memorize the shop keeper's greeting.

21. Suck up to the Soup Kitchen Faerie. She may have a heart of gold, but she can be pretty hard on the wealthier Neopians.

22. Submit an article to the Neopian Times and give me EVEN MORE competition than I already have!

23. Beg for a Cybunny.

24. Dream about owning a two-hundred dubloon coin.

25. Finally, after doing all of these things, see if the wheel have stopped spinning.

Congratulations, you have survived the tedious Wheel of Monotony. So, how long did it take to spin? One hour? Two? Maybe more? However long, I'm glad that you weren't bored. Look for my next article soon. Bye!