Heart Of Hope

     Here lies a reason among many

      ~**~

      Valentines Day. You can't believe how much time has passed. You stare at your username papers and sigh. Biting down on your lip, you trudge through the busy Neopia Central streets. What do you know about love and caring? After all, you have left your pets hungry and starving for months. If only you could change things to how they once were.

     Flitting with the edge of a yellow Neomail, you shake with more than just the chills running up your spine. Climbing up a well-worn path, you head to a small house. Nearing the plaque, you almost go for it, almost knock. But even then, you know you can't. Biting down on your bottom lip hard, you turn tail and run.

     A figure watches your retreating form.

      ~**~

      Catching your breath in heated huffs, you slip into a nearby café, clutching the brass knob. A few curious people look over but avert their gaze when you glance around. Frilly red and pink paper hearts strung over a grey, bland wall are the only signs that it is the day of love. Finally, as your breathing turns normal, you stumble to the counter, order a hot cocoa, and manage to fall into a seat. You take out the well-worn Neomail and reread it for the hundredth time. It goes as follows:

     "My dear sweet Xweetok brood,

     How goes it in the wonderful land of Neopia? Are you keeping each other safe? I am sorry I can't or won’t or... somehow will never return. In the sickness of sadness, maybe you'd be better off without me. But it pains me so much to separate from you. I just want to say I do love you all. I just don't know if I can be the owner you deserve. I always keep you in my thoughts. If I ever get the courage to reach out, past my fears and insecurities, I will let you know.

     Till then, with love,

     Purple."

     You take a shuddery breath, you teardrops staining the page some. Not knowing what to do or where to go, you get up to pay for your drink when you hear a small, meek voice come from the doorway.

     "Purple?"

     Tuliaria, a Biscuit Xweetok is standing there, wearing nothing but a well-worn green scarf, ringing her tail through her paws. Staring at the floor, she opens her mouth to say something but stops when she sees your shocked face. Panic and bile building in your chest, you ignore the sharp glances and murmuring voices bubbling around you. Blowing past your pet, you slam down your amount due and run out the door, sobs building and leaving your throat.

     As you push past the streams of people and creatures, thoughts of your cruelness and cowardice echo through your mind. It was a mistake to come back to Neopia after all this time. Ignoring the shouts of protests, of your own self-loathing, you finally manage to find a secluded bench. Collapsing onto it, you bury your face in your hands and cry.

     A freezing biscuit paw grabs your hand firmly. You gasp as you see Tuliaria, her teeth chattering in the cold winds. As she tries to open her mouth all that comes out is a deep, deep cough rumbling from her thin chest. Tears sting your face; the snow is falling heavier now. But as you go to take her paw, you see her knees begin to crumble. Just before she collapses you manage to grab her. Falling with your knees to the ground you can tell she has a high fever. Despite her shivers, she is warm. Too warm.

     Your scream for help attracts a green Elephante. Seeing the chaos before him, he quickly flags down more people and pets to come and alert the proper authorities.

      ~**~

      Beep beep

     Beep beep beep

     You slouch in your chair, trying to get a little sleep in the two hours you’ve been here. The doctors say she has severe Neomonia, but with some time, rest, and medicine, she’ll make it. They say it was good she was found and brought here, or it could have been a worse scenario.

     The yellow Lenny who admitted Tuliaria gave you a long look as you filled out the paperwork.

      “Maybe, dear... the pound is an option. She’ll find a good home. She is painted and not badly named. I’ll leave this brochure with you.”

     With that she handed you a brochure with information about the Neopian Pound.

     Her words are still bouncing in your ears. You watch the biscuit Xweetok’s chest move up and down steadily. Trembling, you gently take her paw. Squeezing it, your tears and nose dripping, you make a promise. You’re going to try. Try to stay and be the owner Tuliaria and your other five Xweetoks need.

     You suddenly hear what sounds like a stampede out in the hall. As you get up gingerly from your chair, the door bounces open, and appearing before you are all your pets.

     Illusivana, a starry Xweetok, pushes past you, followed by all the others into the now cramped hospital room. She takes her sister’s paw and holds it to her chest, refusing to let tears fall.

     “Of all the daft and dumb things to do, why in Fyora’s name did she go after you?”

     Sempiterno, a camouflage Xweetok, curls his tail over his face and sobs. Trirti, a tall strawberry Xweetok, stands to his full height, trying to hide his trembling paws. You reach out your hand to pat him, but he quickly smacks it away. “What are you doing back here, traitor? What? You think we’re going to jump up and down or let you near any of us ‘cause you decided to pop back in? Ha! Why not run off and leave us be? You’ve done enough damage already.”

     Sophiepies the faerie Xweetok gives her brother a hard look. You put your face back in your hands as you sink to the floor. You know it’s all true and that you have no real right to be here. As you let out the beginnings of a choked cry, you feel two sets of arms wrap around you.

     Sophiepies and a female Christmas Xweetok, Svnila, have grabbed you in a tight embrace. Your cry dies away, but you still feel your heart shattering, if only for a different reason. The other three shoot you daggers.

     You hear a rustle, and you all turn your heads to see a small figure try to sit up in bed.

     Illusivana and Trirti cling hard to each of Tuliaria’s paws as another cough escapes her mouth. You gasp as she smiles at you, happily and weakly.

     “Purple..”

     The doctor, a blue Lupe, enters at the exact moment you burst into a crying fit. He smiles wearily, and gives the Xweetoks all a look.

     “All right, I have given you a few minutes, but now you all need to wait out in the waiting room. I have to talk with your owner.”

     “No owner of mine..” Illusivana mutters darkly.

     They all file out anyway, Svnila and Sophiepies each giving you a pat on the back and a “good luck” as they leave. The doctor quietly closes the door.

     “We have much to discuss. You need to get back on track. She was starving and frail, and I never want to see her in this unstable a condition ever again. I know you have a good heart. But you need to make up your mind. There are many resources to help you get on your feet. Be the owner they deserve, or give them up. So, what will it be?”

     You grab a tissue from Tuliaria’s table stand and mop your face. You nod, gripped onto your weak pet’s paw.

     You nod and smile. “I’ll do better.”

     Tuliaria’s eyes water as you lean down and kiss her cheek. As the tears fall from you, you know these words to be true. You and the biscuit Xweetok cling together for a long moment. And the doctor smiles.

      ~**~

      It’s been a rough few months. You know it’ll take a while to gain back their trust and love. It’ll take a while to heal the wounds. But with time you think you will.

     You smile as you hold the notebook to your chest. A small ray of light dances across your face. As you hear the songs of April birds, you know. If there are 900 or more reasons to go, you’ll always find 900 to a million more to stay. Thank Fyora for your brood.

     The End.