15 Ways To Know You Should Never Own A Petpet

So, you're considering getting a petpet, eh? That very thought makes me laugh. Well, you might really...and let me stress, really...want to think hard about it before spending one single neopoint on those creatures. Yes they're lovable and cute and all that jazz, but believe me, there are quite a few reasons why you personally might not be ready to take on the responsibility. Let's examine some.

1. You're too busy partying it up on Mystery Island.

Ah, yes, beautiful Mystery Island...with its long sunny days and it's breezy nights. If you're still in the phase where you're always partying at the beach, building sandcastles until the crack of dawn and playing wild music all throughout the night, then you might not want a petpet. They'll get aggravated at the lack of sleep they're getting, and will probably wander off to find some other owner that actually pays attention to them.

2. You're too busy exploring Neopia and hardly ever at your Neohome.

Sure, some petpets love to go exploring, but they get sick of traveling. They'll never be home snuggling in their bed or able to see their friends. And let's face it, if you're out having a fun time, why in the world would you want to drag along an animal you're going to have to keep a constant eye on all the time?

3.You decided to get painted biscuit or some other edible color.

There's not much explaining needed for this one. Petpets are always hungry. Always. Unless you're going to get a petpet painted custard, it probably isn't a smart idea. You might wake up missing a leg or a lung.

4. You own too many Usukis.

I have nothing against Usukis. Honestly, I love them. I think they're some of the coolest toys in Neopia. BUT there is a cut off limit. If you're the kind of Neopian that owns way too many of them, your petpet could get lost in a stack of them forever. They might even get jealous that you play with the Usukis more than them. They'll probably even want to chew on them, and that would just ruin your entire collection.

5.You're broke.

You still go to the soup kitchen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Well, if you can't afford to even take care of yourself, why in the world would you think you can take care of something else? If you're THAT broke, get a job. Petpets need food, clothes, and toys...all of which cost money. Get your funds up before you get a pet.

6.You still don't know how to swim.

This could be a huge problem. Most of the lands in Neopia are surrounded by water, or near water. Examples: Mystery Island, Krawk Island, Kiko Lake, Maraqua, Roo Island. If you can't swim and your petpet falls into the lake or ocean, who's going to save it?! You can't teach them how to swim for themselves because you don't even know how to do it! Horrible idea!!!

7.You have an odd obsession with the lab ray.

So, you love to get zapped into all sorts of crazy colors, even sometimes a new species. Well guess what. Your petpet might not take too kindly to always getting zapped and changed around. What if it liked being a Dung Walking Carpet and suddenly you decide you're tired of it? Then BAM! It's now a Halloween Mazzew. This could leave your petpet feeling hurt and unloved, as if you weren’t happy with the way they were before. Meanie!

8.You think Dr. Sloth will rule the world.

The last thing we need is evil petpets.

9. You refuse to shower more than once a month.

First things first, that's kind of gross. This just shows you have bad hygiene. Your fur will get stringy and full of dirt. I would hate to think what your petpet would look like if you decide to never groom it too! Especially if you get a Walking Carpet...those have to get vacuumed! The pet's fur could get matted and cause it a lot of pain, or the feathers could get oily and dirty and irritate the petpet's skin, and give it a terrible rash. While you might think its ok to look like a hippy, petpets are usually not happy about it.

10. Your best friend is Turmaculus.

Ok, so Turmaculus might be a good guy. He is a giant petpet after all, and he's usually sleeping all day long. But what if your petpet manages to wake him up and he eats him? Or what if your petpet decides that Turmaculus is now their role model, and starts eating everything in sight until they're almost just as big! They think he's so cool; they want to be just like him. You'd run out of food, PLUS you'd have one boring, lazy petpet.

11. You CONSTANTLY get into trouble.

You got caught trying to bribe the money tree to give you all of the items it has for 100 neopoints. You were chased away from the Neocola machine by an angry Grundo because you hacked into it and took all of his favorite cola. And THEN you got yelled at for eating a giant spoonful of Sophie's Stew. I mean, what's even in that? GROSS! If you get a petpet then you'll both be getting into trouble, and there's no need for that much mischief. Petpets are sneaky too, so....

12. You're really, REALLY boring.

You don't bother to change your color or you're routine. You think that going out to get a piece of pizza at the pizza shop is a bit too much 'crazy fun'. Fighting some Fuzzles? No, that's too scary and dangerous, and you'd rather be at home reading the same book for the twentieth time in a row while sipping on a cup of boring stagnant water. Any petpet that lives with you will get super bored and run away, or get so bored that it will start causing havoc in your neohome just to have something to entertain itself with.

13. You take a bath in some kind of Slurpee because it's the newest fad.

Hey, I don't judge. I heard the new fad is to fill your bathtub with rock and slime slushies or aubergine slushies. Something about getting a nice soft coat of fur from it...whatever. But if you follow such wacky fads and suddenly one comes out such as "bathe your petpet in mud and mashed potatoes" or "throwing petpets into the magma pool will make them turn into magma pets!" for the next cool fad, then your petpet will probably get creeped out and find someone less...weird.

14. You hate petpets.

So...why would you bother getting one?

15. You know if you get tired of taking care of it, then you can just give it away or sell it for a profit.

Now that's just plain mean. Having a petpet get attached to you and suddenly ripping it away because you're tired of them or just want to make some extra cash will seriously hurt their feelings. Petpets need love, not someone who isn't willing to give them a hug once a week or ready to trade them in for a shiny new piece of armor. They have feelings too!

So, if any of these reasons sound like you...it's more than likely you're just not ready for a petpet. And quite frankly, that could be a good thing to realize this now instead of later.