A Yurble stole my cinnamon roll! Circulation: 192,473,754 Issue: 648 | 6th day of Relaxing, Y16
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Surviving the Snowager


by mauduin

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Mauduin's breath became annoyingly visible as he cautiously and quietly entered the Snowager's lair during the alleged napping period. The stress his mind endured up to this point seemed light compared to what it felt like now – now that he had crossed the verge of safety into the realm of fear and danger.

     "Why, oh why, are you even considering this?" he thought aloud to himself as he made his way through the shimmering icy chambers. "I mean, you're royalty, for Fyora's sake!" He nervously chuckled.

     As he continued on, however, he noticed something that had been overlooked by many others over the years. Looking down, he saw that the closer towards the heart of peril he ventured, the fewer the foot tracks in the snow there seemed to be – an indicator, no doubt, that the dread within the hearts of the fearful had taken its toll on them and caused them to turn back at various lengths within the icy foyer of the cave. Now, having to shake off the whispers of doubt that prompted him to do the same, he continued on until he reached the threshold of the dreaded beast's resting spot and began to fight hard to quiet his hastened breathing.

     Passing through a door seemingly constructed of darkness that led from one cavern into the next, Mauduin's stomach dropped as his eyes beheld the massive beast before him, for the Snowager was larger than he had anticipated – far larger than anyone had previously described! Why, even the head of the sleeping, icy behemoth was large enough to swallow him whole!

     "I must be mad," he whispered to himself as he shook his head in disbelief.

     However, everything was suddenly put into perspective when his eyes spotted what he came for. For after each breath before Mauduin's eyes had evaporated, he clearly saw (for that moment) the horde of treasure upon which the icy leviathan lay; and there before him – his reason for coming: the legendary "Heart of Heroes Serum"!

     "There it is," he breathed with an intense desire that caused him to forget, though just for a moment, where he actually was.

     Then, taking one more breath to stabilize his nerves, he slowly crept towards the Snowager – towards the serum. What was worse than the fear of waking the Snowager was the fact that its breathing became louder with each step he took closer to it. So loud, in fact, that it seemed to pound Mauduin's brain with every breath that passed. However, the nervous Blumaroo pressed on until he had finally come close enough to actually reach out and touch the serum when something caught his eye...

     "That pocket watch!" He gasped in fear. "It belongs to Arstos!"

     Mauduin's heart suddenly began to race as thoughts of what could have happened to his acquaintance filled his head, and while he saw no fur or torn clothing lying about, Mauduin did not care to stick around for any possible explanation (or demonstration) and quickly grabbed the serum with both of his paws and pulled.

     The calm breathing that had once filled the room had now ceased and was abruptly replaced by a low growl that would've made all but the bravest of neopets quake in their fur. It was too late, Mauduin thought. However, with the serum in hand, he bolted for the exit as fast as blumarooily possible, only to find himself running straight into a wall of ice – a wall that suddenly began to constrict itself around him!

     As the Snowager lifted Mauduin into the air to look his trespasser in the eyes he snorted in disdain at the meager Blumaroo, its breath plastered Mauduin's face with frost.

     "And you are?" the Snowager noisily snarled.

     "You mean aside from lost?" Mauduin nervously joked. "Because I'm clearly not at the Negg Faerie's hut, right?"

     The Snowager tilted his head at the quirky remark, and then shook it in irritation...

     "You little nooblin!" The frozen leviathan vehemently hissed, once more caking Mauduin's face with frost and causing him to wince and shake. "She's in the cave to the South! Why, if I didn't already have a plump, little snack just waiting for me over in that corner, I'd eat you like a flapjack with extra starberry sauce!"

     By now, Mauduin was frozen with fear on just what or even who that "snack" might have been, but was interrupted in his horrid vision by his captor's next words.

     "However," the Snowager continued with a sinister chuckle as he opened his wide jaws and exposed his icy, dagger-like teeth while moving the constricted neopet closer to his gates of frozen darkness. "I suppose I could splurge just this once..."

     At this point, Mauduin shrieked like a little Usul who was about to have her Usuki Doll taken from her by an older, reckless brother and closed his eyes to avoid seeing the dreadful fate about to befall him.

     The Snowager (genuinely in no mood to eat another morsel of food for the rest of the day) watched the grown neopet cower in terror before him and suddenly burst into a frosty laughter – which prompted Mauduin to open one of his eyes.

     "Haaaahahahahaha!" he roared in hilarity as he slowly put the terrified Blumaroo back down to the snow-packed cavern floor below him. Releasing his grip on him he continued, "You really thought I was going to eat you!" he continued to laugh until there were what looked like icicle tears coming out of his frozen, orb-like eyes.

     Mauduin, unsure if he was being led on in a joke or was about to be eaten whole, followed along with the Snowager's mood and started to laugh along with him, not taking his eyes off of the quickest way to the exit.

     "What are you laughing at?!" the icy leviathan snapped, causing his uninvited guest to cease laughing and lock his body back into fear.

     Once more, the Snowager burst into laughter and slammed his massive tail on the ground as one telling a joke would do so with their hand on a table at its punchline.

     "Y-you fell for it a second time!" he boomed hysterically. "Oh, you are too funny, King of Niana. And to think 'Iron Roo' himself was shaking in his shoes before me. That's just priceless!"

     "Can I go now?" Mauduin asked in frustration upon the actualization that he was nothing more than the Snowager's amusement for the day.

     "Yeah, get out of here so I can go back to my nap. I only get three hours of sleep a day, ya know – if I'm lucky given all of those pesky neopets thinking they're going to strike it rich with MY treasure and such." The frosty behemoth yawned. "Now put my potion down and take that annoying, ticking pocket watch out of here and give it back to that little rodent who was in here two about eight hours before you," he casually demanded as he smoothly moved away from the exit and rested back on top of his pile of treasure.

     In disbelief, Mauduin shook his head, set down the serum and retrieved Arstos' pocket watch and shamefully made his way towards the exit, dragging his tail along the way.

     "One more thing," the Snowager called out to his humiliated intruder.

     "Yes?" Mauduin asked, drudgingly turning around to face his tormentor for the last time in what was to be a VERY long time.

     "Well, you know the drill – seeing as how you woke me up and all..."

     Mauduin's sullen face sank even further as the Snowager reared up and fired an icy blast which clumsily threw him out of the cave, causing him to stop just several feet before a group of four who were wanting to attempt the same feat as him.

     With a sigh, Mauduin, on his back, shook his head and laughed, warning the others, "Just... just go home. It's not worth it today."

The End

 
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