White Weewoos don't exist. *shifty eyes* Circulation: 177,073,856 Issue: 335 | 21st day of Running, Y10
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Attack of the Plushies

by theschizophrenicpunk


They’re soft and fuzzy, but within that soft and fluffy exterior is... well, fluff...

     Oh, but only those skilled in the ways of seeing... things, can see what really lies within, for beneath that soft and fuzzy exterior, lies the heart and soul of a vicious monster.

     Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but they are out to rule the world. They’re just like those horrid Meepits: cute... but evil.

     Plushies are one of the biggest dangers our society is facing. As previously said, they’re evil, but think about it! Those cute cotton fluffy tufts of adorableness, and those sinking button eyes that seem to bury into the core of your heart, right through your chest, eating you from the inside-out until you have to give in to their cuteness! It is a horrible fate! Yet some Neopians just can’t see this danger; they believe that these sweet li’l plushies couldn’t do any harm, oh but believe me this... they will... One day, the plushies will rise up and attack! No one will see it coming! Armed with gazillions of cannons filled with cotton candy and stuffing, ray guns of licorice-like lava... stuff, and those buttons! Oh those buttons... that is their main weapon! Those buttons are seemingly harmless, but once they’re chucked at you at 500 MPH, it can hurt a lot! And when they explode on your skin the second it hits you, your thought of these ‘innocent’ buttons will change forever!

     Although the thought of this assault by the plushies may seem horrid to some... it was the last thing on Sailla’s mind.

     This one sweet-n-innocent Baby Xweetok only thought of cotton-clouds and lullabies. Sweet candies and happy white Snowbunnies frolicking o’er the hills of snow at the edge of Happy Valley. Danger never crossed her mind, only thoughts of sweets and joy and joyness filled her ever-happy soul, and her collection of nearly three hundred plushies proved it.

     As she sat in the middle of her giant room, playing with her favorite Pink Cybunny plushie, there suddenly came a knocking at her door.

     Sailla looked up with a small “eep!” and glanced in the direction of the sound. “Who is it?” she yelled, hugging the Cybunny plushie close to her chest.

     “It’s me, you dum-dum!” came a somewhat creepy sounding voice from the other side of the door.

     Sailla rolled her eyes. “Come in, Rae!” she said with a sigh.

     The door was flung open and hit the wall with a clash, knocking several plushies off the shelf, along with a colorful painting that hung on the wall. Rae, Sailla’s older sister, came storming into the room with anger burning in her pink eyes. The Mutant Xweetok had a tendency to lose control of her temper once in a while.

     “You!” Rae yelled, shaking a clawed finger in front of Sailla’s face. She gulped and stared Rae in the eyes.

     After a long, awkward moment of silence, Sailla pointed a finger towards her face and said “M-m-m-m-me...?”

     Rae giggled and shoved a bowl of soup into Sailla’s face. “Mum says you’ve gotta eat this!” she yelled with a snort, spitting in Sailla's face. Rae stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her, causing the last few pictures to fall to the floor.

     Sailla blinked twice. “THAT WAS POINTLESS!” she yelled to the now closed door, but no one responded. With a harrumph, Sailla placed the large bowl of soup down on the floor and continued to play with her toys.


     The wind blew through the open window, causing the pink curtains to billow in the breeze. Warm sunlight poured into the pink and yellow room, reflecting off the thousands of items that lay strewn about the floor. A sudden gust of air blew in through the window, but this was no ordinary wind.

     The sound of fluttering wings echoed through the large room as Sailla froze in the middle of her game and sat there, afraid to look behind her to see what it was.

     The sound of talons clicking together came from behind her, followed by a hissing voice. ”This is the place...”

     Sailla turned around, eyes wide. Sitting on her windowsill, was the infamous Black Pteri.

     Sailla gasped. “U-um, sir. I believe you are at the wrong place...” she mumbled, forcing a smile to appear across her lips.

     The Pteri looked around the room and craned his neck. “No, this is it... the source of all evil, the cause of destruction, the very source of demons!” he squawked, sending a rain of black feathers onto the floor.

     “Uh, sir. I still believe you have the wrong place...” Sailla said, standing up and clenching her Cybunny plushie between her paws.

     ”They will revolt...” the Pteri said. “They are coming...”

     With a horrifyingly shrill caw, the Pteri flew away, leaving only several black feathers behind. Silence filled the room as Sailla tried to think of what he could have possibly meant. “Humph...” she said quietly resuming her game. “Today doesn’t seem to be a very good day...”


     “‘And then, Mr. Fluffy, we can go back for tea!’ ‘That would be great, Mrs. Cotton! And then...’ Ouch!” Sailla dropped her plushies and grabbed the back of her head. Something had hit her, but what could it have been?

     She turned around to look, but nothing was there. Not even the plushies that lay on her shelves were there anymore.

     Sailla shrugged and resumed her game.


     Sailla screamed and leapt up into the air. She turned to look in battle-ready position, but once again, the room was bare. Suddenly, the sound of a battle cry came from behind Sailla, like the sound of a wailing Kadoatie. She spun around and was shocked to see all her plushies lined up in rows of fifty or so, and in the front, was one Bionic Cybunny plushie, holding a rope.

     Sailla screamed, but alas, she could not escape. She was instantly flooded by the onslaught and taken hostage.


     “Why me?! Why, oh why me?!” Sailla cried as the plushie warriors surrounded her, each one armed with a strange weapon unbeknownst to Neopia.

     “Shut up!” one of the warriors yelled in a seemingly childlike voice.

     Sailla placed her paws over her mouth, but couldn’t help but smile at the cuteness of all the soft and fuzzy ‘warriors’ that surrounded her.

     The leader of the group motioned with its tiny robotic paw for the group to huddle. Sailla watched them intently as they deliberated what to do with their captive.

     Finally, the group ran back to the spots in which they once stood. Then the chief yelled, “Tie her up!”

     Sailla gasped as a Rainbow Hissi plushie came out of the crowd with a rope and began to encircle her.

     “Hey!” Sailla yelled, shaking the rope off her arm. “You’d better stop, or I’ll tell my Mummy!”

     “Oh, right. And what’s yer Mummy gonna do about it?” cried a warrior from the crowd.

     Sailla thought. “I dunno, but she may tell Ember, and then my friend the Werelupe will come and eat you!”

     The warrior encircling Sailla with the rope stopped. “Werelupes give me the creeps!” he yelled.

     “Anything were-y gives you the creeps,” another warrior broke in. “Werelupes, Werekyrii, Werebuzzes, Were...”

     “Were... is my bologna!” Sailla yelled with a gleeful smile.

     The warriors all glared at her.

     Sailla gulped. “I’ll be quiet now...” she mumbled as they continued to tie her up.


     “Bananas are yellow! And so is cake if you leave it out too long and it starts to get all icky and yucky!”

     Sailla sat in the middle of the circle of plushie warriors, singing to herself to try and lighten the mood.

     “I like bananas, but cake is better, unless it’s yellow cake because then it’s icky! But chocolate cake is the bestest. But I also like banana nut bread, and cake with bananas, but chocolate cake is still the best!”

     “Oh shut up!” the chief yelled, slamming his foot against the floor.

     Sailla closed her mouth, but continued to hum.

     “What do we do now?” one warrior broke in.

     “Why don’t we throw her out the window?” a second warrior asked.

     “Naw, too risky,” the chief said, scratching his chin.

     “What about if we bury her in the Haunted Woods?” a third warrior said with an excited little hop.

     “No, that’s stupid!” the first warrior said.

     “What if we just leave her here?” the second warrior asked.

     The group contemplated this idea.

     “No, too boring,” a fourth warrior chimed in.

     “I’ve got it!” a fifth warrior yelled, clawing its way out of the crowd. “BOIL HER!” it yelled, raising its spear into the air.

     “Eew! Yucky!” Sailla yelled, grimacing.

     The other warriors cheered at the thought of this idea and ran towards Sailla with malicious smiles across their faces.

     “Wait, what are you doing?” Sailla cried as the plushies surrounded her. “No, no! NOOOOOOOO!”


     “I still like cake, but I have a strange feeling that cake isn’t gonna help me out of this pickle!” Sailla sang as she dangled above a boiling pot of hot water, hung by just a small rope around her legs.

     “Pickles are yucky! And I don’t much like this situation I’m in, but I don’t like pickles any more than I like this situation!”

     “SHUT UP!” the chief yelled, holding a knife in his paw.

     Sailla sniffed the air. “Why does it smell bad?” she asked with an awkward look in her face.

     “You’ll soon find out..." the chief yelled as he cut the rope that Sailla hung by.

     Sailla yelled as she fell a few feet, heading directly into the pot. The warriors all cheered, as the small Xweetok disappeared into the vat of steam with a splash.

     “We have succeeded!” the chief yelled.

     The group of plushies cheered... but not for long. Two small paws appeared about the rim of the pot.

     “Icky! It tastes like yellow cake and I’m cold!” Sailla yelled as she tried to claw her way out of the pot, but found she kept slipping.

     “What?!” the chief yelled angrily, glaring at the warrior who was supposed to heat the water.

     “Oh, you stupid! You didn’t light the fire!” a warrior yelled from the crowd.

     “I thought it was already lit!” came another voice.

     Sailla finally eased her way out of the ‘boiling’ pot of water, but as she fell to the ground, the pot fell over on top of her.

     The warriors all yelled in anger.

     “GET HER!” the chief yelled.

     Sailla screamed at the top of her lungs as the warriors attacked her, showing no mercy...


     The door to Sailla’s room flung open as Rae entered. “YOU IDIOT!” she yelled, slamming the door behind her.

     Sailla lay against the wall, underneath a shelf of plushies. As the door slammed shut, the shelf fell, sending a shower of plushies onto the small Xweetok’s head. Sailla screamed, but nothing happened.

     “What in Neopia do you think you’re doing?!” Rae yelled.

     Sailla stopped screaming and looked around. She sat there, motionless, surrounded by hundreds of plushies. She was entangled in a ball of yarn, and the bowl of soup now rested on her head, dripping the sweet-smelling liquid down her face, along with some of the ingredients that now lay splattered across the carpeted floor.

     “They were out to get me...” Sailla mumbled quietly, looking up at her sister.

     “Mum said to eat the soup, not dump it on your head!” Rae yelled, stomping her foot against the floor.

     Sailla cocked an eyebrow and took the bowl off her head and stared at it, confused. “But they were out to get me!” she said again.

     “Oh, Mum’s gonna be an-gry!” Rae yelled with an evil smile.

     Sailla’s eyes widened. “Oh no, you don’t!” she yelled, standing up.

     Rae opened the door and ran down the hall yelling “Oh, Mu-um! Guess what Sailla did!”

     “No! Don’t!” Sailla yelled, as she chased her sister out of the room, leaving the mountain of plushies and spilled soup behind.


     “Maybe next time...” came a voice from the pile of plushies.

     “Next time, she won’t be as lucky...”


Thanks to Spiffy and Rippy for letting me use your personalities for my Xweetoks!

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