Know the Neolodge

Only a few months ago, I decided to let myself go on vacation. I had NO feeding responsibilities, NO lengthy grooming sessions for my pets, and most of all NO little pet tagging at my heels asking for me to play plushies with them. (Not that I don’t, uh, LIKE playing Princess Plushie with my peophin...)

How did I accomplish this great feat, you ask? I simply told my pets that THEY were going on vacation, and dropped them off at the Neolodge.

Of course, one week later, my charming xweetok Kandiekayne stormed into the room. She glared at me for what must have been a few minutes before exploding.

“WHY DID YOU SEND ME ON VACATION IN COCKROACH TOWERS!?!?!?!?!? I had a GREAT vacation... except you didn’t give me the restaurant extra, so I was forced to eat my own sandwiches and keep them in the COCKROACH-INFESTED REFRIGERATOR!!!!!!!”

Sound familiar?

If it does, then, like me, you need to learn the basics of the Neolodge.

The Basics of The Neolodge

To learn these basics, I'm going to give you a step-by-step guide to help you, okay? Isn't that nice of me?

To start our tour, first you have to get to the Neolodge in Neopia Central.

Once you step inside, you will be greeted by a desk clerk who immediately hands you a fill-out booking form. We’ll cover that later.

After you’ve filled out the form, you will be dragged by your overly-excited neopets to their hotel rooms, where you will help them unpack before you run out of the Lodge shouting, “I’m free!!!”

Now that you know the basics, it’s time to move on.

Your Booking Form

Now let’s cover your infamous form.

First, you must select a neopet. This may be difficult, as your neopets will probably all be jumping up and down shouting, “BOOK ME FIRST!” and “She got booked first LAST time!” You may have to compromise by flipping a neopoint.

Once you are done with THAT, you must choose a hotel. How it’s all contained in one Neolodge, I do not know. There are plenty to choose from. I’ll give you a summary of the three TYPES of hotels, instead of describing every single one!

Economy Hotel

Low on Neopoints, but still need that vacation? Well, these are the rooms for you! Plus, they have... intriguing names such as Cockroach Towers, Fleapit Motel, and Cheap Hotel. I’m sure any neopet would be exciting to stay in such an... adventure-promoting place! *stalls*

Luxury Hotel

Hey, you get a lovely room with a (somewhat) lovely price! Of course, some of us are still too cheap to pay for these... Their names include Mountain Lodge, Ye Old Ship Inn, Hotel Opera, and the extravagant Royal Neopian. (Note: You do NOT have to be painted royal to visit this hotel!)

Deluxe Hotel

Of course, every time I drop my beloved pets off at the Neolodge, they BEG to stay in one of these lovely things! These are the... heh heh... shall I say pricy hotels? Of course, such exclusive hotels have exclusive names: Faerie Castle, Presidential Palace, and Astrovilla. Note: I must warn you, DO NOT give in to your pets’ whining! I’VE never gotten to stay in a Deluxe hotel, so they won’t either! Humph. *folds arms and turns around stubbornly*

Once you’ve decided how many neopoints you wish to spend on your beloved neopets (for the hotel alone) look to the bottom of the form.

Extras

If choosing a hotel wasn’t enough, now you have to spend time choosing your extras. There is plenty of things to choose from:

Restaurant: Some nice, fine eatings for your neopet to munch on.

Burger Bar: If your neopet suddenly has a craving for fast food, get it here!

Fitness Center: For working off the ten pounds your neopet gained at the Burger Bar.

Neopian Times Delivery: Hey, now your neopet will know what’s going on without bugging YOU about it!

Maid Service: Your neopet doesn’t have to clean up after itself? It’ll be in paradise!

En-suite Bathroom: Get this to avoid walking down three flights of stairs to the lobby bathrooms in the middle of the night.

Jacuzzi/Spa: A fine place for your pet to relax. (Just watch out, the jacuzzi’s broken...)

Grooming: This ensures your pet WON’T come home covered in dirt and (ugh) who knows what else?

Swimming Pool: An ice-cold way to, uh, enjoy oneself!

Tennis Courts: If your neopet gets bored, they may soon become an expert at this sport! (Just be prepared for long tennis wish lists once you get home...)

Sauna: After you’ve frozen in the swimming pool, you can bake in the sauna... even comes with an oven timer!

Laundry Facilities: Your neopet’s clothes will be clean for the journey home (unless they get washed in the third dryer from the right... don’t ask).

Keep in mind that each of these extras is five extra neopoints PER DAY! If you check all of them, it’ll be an extra 60 a per day, adding up to 1680 neopoints for a 28 day visit! (And that’s just the extras...)

Nights

All right, last one! All you have to do now, is choose how many days of your freedom, uh, I mean your pet’s VACATION that they will receive. Pretty simple, huh?

Thanks to this guide, I should feel pretty safe now from the explosions of angered neopets over their *cough cough* vacations. I hope you too will now approach the Neolodge with more confidence and assurance!

Good luck!

(By the way, no harm was meant to my lovely neopets... I really don't relish my vacation time away from them THAT much... mostly.)