10 Ways to Cope With a Glowing Pet

For example. Say you're trying to tell a nice ghost story. You flip all the lights out, turn on your flashlight... And there's a glowing Elephante in the corner, making the room almost as bright as it was when the lights were on.

Some Glowing pets say that it doesn't matter, because it's fun to be shiny. Take my pet ShardPoodle. She's mean, lean, and glowing green. She likes to go to slumber parties, because she's perverse and likes annoying people.

But what if you've got one of those normal, NOT psychopathically evil glowing pets? What do you do then?

You use my list of ways to dim a glowing pet, that's how. Just read it already. -_-

1. Lampshades

They're quick and easy. You can buy one at plenty of stores, or just take one off your pre-existing lamps. To make it easier, take one off of a Meepit lamp. They already have eyeholes.

PROS: Cheap. Come in fancy canvas models.

CONS: They make your pet look like they've been at a fancy party, opening up a whole new world of blackmail for your neighbors.

2. Sunglasses

Sure, they might not dim your pet. But they make it easier to withstand being near them. They're also quite cheap, and all your friends will thank you for buying them. Give them out as party favors at your next slumber party. Heck, just drop a pair for all the pets in Neopia! Buying several billion sets of sunglasses is worth having comfortable eyes, right?

...Right?

PROS: Yet again, cheap. They're slightly more portable, and don't make your pet look like a total twit. Plus they're shiny, black, and make you look cool. Or like a poser. Either way, they're great!

CONS: They look really, REALLY stupid at slumber parties. It's hard to read ghost stories when you can't see through them because the lights are off.

3. Never going outside

You've probably noticed by now that most of my ideas don't actually dim the pets, they just make them easier to deal with. Anyway.

The staying inside method is great. No one ever has to look at you and you can sit inside your Neohome all day and play with your Usuki Dream Car or whatever the kids are calling hip these days. Plus you get nice, comfy lampshades all around you if you ever decide you DO want to go out.

PROS: Completely solves the problem. Get to watch TV all day.

CONS: If you never go outside, you'll probably starve to death or something. Or at least die of boredom, or get run over by your Dream Car when your Teen Usuki decides to rebel.

4. Mud

Finally, a dimming one.

If your pet goes and finds a mud puddle and rolls around in it, they'll be completely dimmed. They'll be rarin' and ready to go, and it's free to find mud! Sometimes you even get an entire muddy lake! Awesome!

PROS: Completely dims your pet. Easy to find, and it washes off easily.

CONS: Makes you smell like the Turmaculus on a bad day. A REALLY bad day. No one will invite you to slumber parties, and any lampshades you wear will get dirty.

5. The Ice Cream Factory

Just waltz on in late at night and get peppered with delicious ice cream. This is pretty much just a rehash of the Mud idea, except it smells better and you can get Neopoints if you avoid the cannons. Apparently the owners like to pay people for breaking in. o_O

PROS: Tastes delicious. Smells good.

CONS: Ice cream goes bad. REALLY fast. And it melts, making your pet a glowing, sticky mess.

6. Trenchcoats

Mysterious, long black coats that cover your pet's entire body, they're pretty much one of the best cheap solutions you'll ever find for covering your pet's glowiness. Plus you can wear one with the sunglasses and look cool.

PROS: Look great. You can hide candy in the pockets. Relatively cheap.

CONS: Don't work well on pets with hooves. Don't look good with lampshades.

7. Boochi

Yeah. Boochi can zap your pet, turning it into a baby. Sure, your pet will be whiny and annoying. But at least they won't blind you anymore. Honorable mentions are Anger Red and Sadness Blue random events, but those are stupid colors.

PROS: Baby pets take around 7 naps a day. Finally, some peace and quiet.

CONS: When your pet ISN'T napping, they'll never shut up. Seriously. EVER. Not to mention how hard it is to actually FIND Boochi.

8. Just Buy A Paintbrush, You Lazy Poor Person

Self-explanatory.

PROS: You can change your pet to whatever color you want.

CONS: Expensive. Plus you have to blind everyone else in the Rainbow Pool to get this done with, and you're not allowed to wear lampshades into that thing.

9. Chia Flour

...Yeah, Chia Flour. It's hated by just about every Battledome-going owner with a rare-colored or limited-edition species pet, but in some situations, it can help you out quite a bit. Like this, for example! Go into the Battledome against someone with it and just get hit by it. You'll have a yellow, not-glowing Chia in no time at all! And if it doesn't work for some reason, you can use the bag the same way as the lampshade!

PROS: Free. Gives you a Chia.

CONS: Almost impossible to find anymore. Not to mention the fact that the money you spent on those lampshades will go to waste.

10. Lampshades again

I really like lampshades. Don't you? Seriously, just look at 'em! They're beautiful and shiny!!!

Well. They may not be the best solutions around. In fact, they're probably the worst.

But hey. They work for my pets, why wouldn't they work for yours? You can also improvise! Don't have enough money for a paintbrush? Just dump housepaint on your pet! They'll be dazzling, beautiful, and in the hospital for paint poisoning in no time!!!

So... thanks for reading, and please. Dim your pet before you come by my house. I don't like those glowing pets when they're shining bright. --puts a lampshade on ShardPoodle's head-- --shifty eyes--

Author's Note: If you're readin' this, it means I got into the Times, obviously. Either that, or you're one of the people reviewing this. If it's the former, thanks for clicking on my article link! If it's the latter, I have asparagus for you if I get in! --slapped--