| Enter the Snowflake's lair... |
Circulation: 198,352,597 |
Issue: 1064 | 28th day of Hiding, Y28 |
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 Welcome to the Mutant Neolodge
by precious_katuch14
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Welcome to the Mutant Neolodge!
We hope you enjoy your stay,
Just don't let the furniture
Or the atmosphere scare you away!
Oh, you've got a reservation,
Hang on as we get you your keys.
While waiting, would you like to try
Our fresh Mutant Brain Slushie?
Pull up a Mutant Claw Chair,
As you wait, you get a massage!
Those backrest claws are experts,
Best of all, they offer no charge!
Now we'll take you to your room,
But please, watch your step,
The Mutant Draik chef just spilled
Some slimy Mutant Ketchup!
Here's your Mutant Neolodge room,
Your Mutant Door Mat says hi,
So why don't you say hi back,
And look it in the eyes?
"Is the door mutant too?" you ask,
You sure you know what you said?
Of course the door isn't mutant,
But there IS a Creaky Mutant Bed.
The Creaky Mutant Bed is soft and warm,
If a little green and oozy,
Though, even with no one on it,
It creaks and creaks ominously!
Come store your personal belongings,
In the Mutant Drawer over there,
It won't drip slime on your things -
It really won't, we swear!
The Mutant Desk has all you need,
To write your loved ones a postcard,
Just don't freak out and call reception,
When it seems to move in the dark.
Sorry about the Mutant Table,
It used to be normal before,
'Til a transmogrification potion
Suddenly spilt all over!
Feel free to sit on the Mutant Sofa,
Don't mind the rumours about it,
About how it sucks into its cushions
Anyone who takes a seat!
Don't forget to join us for dinner,
We're having Mutant Hot Dogs!
(The chef meant for them to look like
(They were fished from a bog.)
This is the Mutant Neolodge,
It may look a little questionable,
But we assure you,
We'll make your stay comfortable!
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