Old News

     "And get this," said Stealth, a fittingly Stealthy Grundo speaking to the various pets at their table, "the entire time? He had NO idea they were even related! Do you know how many years we could've gotten first dibs on tickets to the front row of the Cup?"

     Jacob, the Christmas Kacheek that Stealth was referring to, lightly rolled his eyes beneath his brass gear goggles as he took another small forkful of moussaka. When Stealth found out that Jacob had been unaware that his previous mentor, Tangor, had been the brother of Team Moltara player Vere Polnicek until only recently, he was determined not to let him live it down.

      "Neither Yooyuball nor his last name ever came up in conversation...somehow," Jacob said, eventually cracking a smirk. "And I had that apprenticeship for years!"

     "Hey, I don't blame ya," said a Flotsam wearing a Maraqua jersey. "I wouldn't talk about Yooyuball much if our team had Moltara's record." A nearby Tonu covered his mouth as he nearly choked on his Altadorian Nectar.

     Stealth held up a palm. "Hey now, that's a low blow. Only we can talk about our team that way."

     "Yeah," Jacob said. "Glass houses, and such," he added under his breath.

     "And what was that?" the Flotsam retorted.

     "I'm just saying, at least we're rooting for a team, instead of Hughlis and Friends. Though, given how much of a ball hog he is, maybe 'friends' is a bit presumptuous," Jacob said as he smugly took another bite of moussaka.

     "Alright, that's it..." the Flotsam said, balling his fin before a Korbat put her hand on his shoulder.

     "Okay, that's enough," she said, clearly having dealt with him before. "At the end of the day, we can at least agree on one thing...at least we're not Brightvale." The entire crowd laughed, and the situation was defused.

     As time passed by, eventually Jacob and Stealth left Exquisite Ambrosia and walked out onto the bustling streets of Altador. Stealth tapped Jacob on the shoulder.

     "I'm gonna go grab us both a slushie before the game starts. I'll meet you at our seats," he said as he bounded off toward the slushie shop.

     Jacob, though, felt his eyes wander off to the side, whereupon he noticed a yellow, bespectacled Blumaroo wearing a suit looking at him. This was the third time in recent memory that Jacob had crossed paths with this Blumaroo: the first during the aftermath of the Obsidian Quarry walkout, and the second during his trip to Faerieland to repair his Albot. Either way, something had to be up.

     "Sir! Yes, you there!" the Blumaroo called out. "Just a moment of your time, please?"

     "Okay, what's going on here?" Jacob asked, aggravated. He was normally not one to be this terse, but this reporter was acting strangely suspicious. "Why do you keep finding me?"

     "I'll be the one asking the questions here, pal, for it seems like you're the one constantly at the scene of the crime," said the reporter. "And I, News-A-Roo, will..."

     "What crime?!" Jacob said, exasperated.

     "You're involved with the organised crime wave that's been springing up around Neopia Central and the surrounding lands...Malkus Vile, Uzarro, countless others, they all lead back to you."

     "...I fought off Uzarro. I was literally the one who gave you the story. If you need help with something, I'm happy to answer any questions, but these accusations are getting us nowhere, and you know that."

     "Aha! So it is the real you," said News-A-Roo. "Very good, sport, now we can talk."

     "You...were testing me?" Jacob asked, genuinely dumbfounded more than anything else.

     "In this line of work? You better believe it, kid."

     Not taking kindly to being called "kid," Jacob frowned as he adjusted his goggles. "Now what did you mean by needing to talk?"

     "I mean I've got the scoop, pal. A real humdinger. I've heard through the grapevine that an old member of the Neopia Central criminal underworld was setting up shop here in Altador for the Cup, hosting an illegal gambling ring. Altador isn't like Krawk Island; that kind of thing is frowned upon here. So I wanted to go give this rascal what for, and see what he knows."

     At this point, Stealth casually walked into the scene.

     "Okay, Chokato flavoured for you, and Zeenana for me!" said Stealth, handing Jacob a slushie. "Thankfully I got there early enough that Cheryl wasn't just slinging random flavours. Oh hey, who's this guy?"

     "News-A-Roo, friend, at your service," he said, tipping his hat.

     "What, he gets to be 'friend' instead of 'kid?'" Jacob muttered to himself.

     "I was telling your pal here about how I'm going to confront a known rapscallion and get the answers I need."

     "So who is it?" Stealth asked, sipping at his slushie.

     "Known high-stakes gambler and con artist, Jo Jo the Lip."

     Stealth nearly choked on his slushie. "Are you out of your mind?" he managed to force out.

     "Who's Jo Jo the Lip?" Jacob asked Stealth. "And how do you know him?" he added, worried.

     "You know me, I like card games. Remember that one biography you got me for the Day of Giving? The Little Timmy one?"

     "Oh! Well, I'm glad you liked it," Jacob said. "As a Seeker, it's always nice to..."

     "Jo Jo the Lip had an entire chapter dedicated to himself," Stealth interrupted. "Timmy beat him in a high-stakes game and put his own name on the map as a Cheat! player. Jo Jo's known for his ruthless nature, vast connections, and shady dealings and practices. If your friend here's going after him, he's gonna need backup."

     "If it's really that dangerous, I should tag along," Jacob said. "Stealth, you continue on as normal. If we're gone for more than an hour without contacting you, send for help, okay? This sounds like a delicate situation. Let's not get the authorities involved and cause a scene if it's not needed."

     "You got it," said Stealth. "And good luck, Mr. -A-Roo," he added with an awkward salute.

     The trio split up, with Jacob and News-A-Roo heading toward the north end of the city.

     "So why do you care so badly about Jo Jo the Lip's gambling ring?" Jacob asked. "It seems...much smaller in scale than Malkus Vile, or even Uzarro."

     "Because I need vindication."

     "Excuse me?" Jacob asked.

     News-A-Roo sighed. "I've...been at this for a long time, son. But I'm also not the pet I used to be." The Blumaroo put his hand to his cheek, noting the rougher texture around his eyes and mouth. "The years haven't been kind, and in this business, if you don't stay relevant, your career is over."

     "That sounds rough," Jacob said. "So you're going after a big scoop to reclaim some of the old glory?"

     "Not as much glory, but proof that...that I mattered. That the Neopet who broke the news about Sloth's invasion, the Hunt for the Battledome, and the destruction of Old Maraqua is still there."

     Jacob lowered his lips into a frown. He knew all too well the feeling gnawing at the Blumaroo. He cautiously put a paw on his shoulder.

     "You do matter, and you'd matter even if you didn't cover all those stories in the past. Don't get caught in the vicious cycle of comparing yourself to, well...yourself. So less of the general public knows you now, so what? It just means that those that do remember will be all the more happy to see you."

     Jacob rummaged through his travel bag on his back and produced a picture of his Albot, H.O.O.T., showing it to News-A-Roo. "Sometimes when I get discouraged with my inventions and repair work, I remember that there has always been good that came of my work. Your work matters, and so do you."

     "That's awfully kind of you, Jacob," said News-A-Roo. "I've been put through the wringer, but I'm not down for the count yet...we're going to find the Lip and see what he knows, and if he is involved."

     "So there's another layer to this?" Jacob asked.

     "We'll see soon enough," News-A-Roo said, stopping the duo before greeting an alleyway tucked to the side of a busy street. "If the tip is good, this is where he'd be. Jo Jo, that is," he clarified.

     Down the alley, there was a small, makeshift door covering a hole in the side of the building. Jacob and News-A-Roo heard a swirl of raucous cheers from within, alongside the telltale sound of a punch being thrown. This was surely the place. It was a seedy joint, one uncharacteristic of the rest of Altador. It was more than apparent that this was set up overnight, and definitely not meant to be permanent. Along the walls, odds were posted for each of the Cup's teams to win the tournament. Jacob glanced at the sign for Moltara giving the team one in one hundred odds and sighed. At the end of the corridor was a green Techo wearing a visor.

     "Okay, that's 200k on Tyrannia for Yooyuball, and 30k on Meridell for Obstacle Course Caper. Next!" he barked, punching a few numbers into a machine. He looked up toward Jacob before glaring at News-A-Roo. "Who let this guy in?" he roared, slamming his fist down on the table.

     "Just wanted to ask you something, Jo Jo," said News-A-Roo. "Then we'll be on our way." He placed a sack of Neopoints on the table in front of the Techo.

     "You're still on this, huh?" spat Jo Jo the Lip.

     "Malkus Vile made big moves recently after who knows how long in hiding. Uzarro staged a massive attempted train robbery after years of focusing on banks, all while mentioning an unknown boss. And here you are, all the way in Altador, far from your home turf."

     Jo Jo nonchalantly reached down under the table while News-A-Roo was ranting.

     "Vile is known to use safe houses on Mystery Island. Uzarro is an expert on moving large sums of Neopoints discreetly. And then there's you...his known associate."

     "I don't care for what you're implying," the Techo said.

     "This entire case reeks of Mulvinn."

     Jo Jo the Lip laughed. "Is that what all of this is about? You're bitter about what happened two and a half decades ago? It's over. Done. Kaput. The charges couldn't stick, and he successfully erased everything about himself from the public record. And you? Your career went with it. You put all your neggs in the basket of the Mulvinn case, all for it to go down the drain. You're a fraud, News-A-Roo, and you always were. How many publications has it been that you've been let go from?"

     "That's enough out of you," Jacob hissed.

     "What was that, four eyes? You wanna speak up?" Jo Jo asked.

     Jacob pressed a small button on his palm, launching two steam-powered arms out of the bag on his back. One of the hands grabbed the Techo, and the other was held just above the machine keeping track of his bets. A Super Attack Pea fell out of Jo Jo's hand and onto the floor, helplessly. Jacob kicked it away.

     "What's the big idea, pipsqueak?" Jo Jo said, flailing and failing to escape its grasp.

     "Let me tell you how this is going to go," Jacob said, livid. "You're going to treat my friend here with respect. You're going to answer his questions and then let us leave in peace. One wrong move, and this other hand will open a steam valve, ruining your little machine and foiling your whole operation. Capiche?"

     Jo Jo rolled his eyes. "You've read too many pulp magazines, kid. But fine. You've got yourself a deal. Now put me down."

     Jacob lowered the Techo, who brushed himself off before sitting back down.

     "First off, Vile genuinely had no part in Mulvinn's return. Whether or not he's using his old safe houses, though, I can't say. But yeah, Uzarro was working with him. You got that part right. It was all part of his plan to use the Altador Cup as a way to launder illicit goods. After all, Neopians come to Altador from every possible land for the games; it's easy for things to get lost in the shuffle. The perfect alibi."

     "So the fiend is back to Juppie smuggling?" asked News-A-Roo.

     "Are you kidding? There's no money in that anymore. The prices have crashed! No, old Mulvinn's after the big bucks. Something...else that's small, round, handheld, and can only be found here and now."

     "Yooyus..." Jacob and News-A-Roo said simultaneously.

     "With all eyes on Altador, the Isle of Yooyu is nicely in the collective blind spot, isn't it?"

     "Where is he?" News-A-Roo spat.

     "It's not like I'm his keeper. But for what it's worth? He's probably leaving tonight for who knows where. He never did stick around for long." Jo Jo sneered. "That's all I know. Now leave, before I decide I've said too much."

     News-A-Roo led Jacob back outside, whereupon the Blumaroo clenched his fist and struck a wall, yelling.

     "He's always been one step ahead..." he muttered.

     "So, this Mulvinn character..." Jacob asked calmly. "You two have history?"

     News-A-Roo slumped down onto the ground, and Jacob sat beside him.

     "A long time ago, I want to say around Year 3, Mulvinn the Wocky was one of the highest profile smugglers in all of Neopia. He smuggled Golden Juppies out of Mystery Island against the wishes of the natives. Horrible stuff, really, and he sold them to the highest bidders. Gourmet Club types, usually. Pockets as deep as their hearts were corrupt. Eventually, on a job gone wrong, everything caught up with him. And me? I was the one who reported on the case."

     News-A-Roo sighed.

     "And then after he was locked up, he must've paid off the judge, or something. Neopia Central was a far different place back then, before the Defenders of Neopia formed. The case was overturned, and all documents relating to it were ordered destroyed. They even removed it from the Neopedia. Then came the faithful day they came for me, and all of a sudden, I was slapped with charges of slander for reporting on the case in the first place."

     "That's horrible," said Jacob. "You didn't even do anything wrong!"

     "That was the worst part. I knew that. Mulvinn definitely knew that. But for him, it was personal, and nothing spoke louder than a large bag of Neopoints. Eventually I managed to get the charge dropped, but it took years to appeal it, and by then my reputation had been thoroughly ruined. I'm thankful things are better now than they were then, but thinking about those days...it just burns me up."

     "We'll find him. Between this and the Yooyus, he needs to be brought down for good. Just let me send a quick Neomail to Stealth to keep him updated, okay? Then we'll head to the docks to see what we can find."

     "You have a plan?"

     "Partially. We agree he's definitely trying to leave by boat, right? It's the only way he could've gotten to the Isle of Yooyu, so it's likely his escape route. So he'd need a boat large and fast enough for international travel to escape, with enough storage containers aboard to hold the captive Yooyus."

     "That should narrow it down," News-A-Roo mused. "So, what's the rest of the plan?"

     The briny air of the Altador Harbour flicked at News-A-Roo's spectacles with nary a care. Many of the vessels docked here were personal ones, boats far too small for the operation Mulvinn was running. That was, all but one. Right at the end of the harbour, a ship of just the right size was waiting, bobbing up and down at the pier. The reinforced steel of the hull doubtlessly contained who knows how many frightened Yooyus. The Blumaroo knew he had to bring their poacher to justice.

     News-A-Roo took a deep breath and listened, only to hear what sounded like objects slamming into walls inside the ship. The sound just so happened to be exactly that of Yooyus slamming against the bars of a cage, much like how they'd slam into the nets of the Yooyuball goal. He swallowed his fears and stormed the ship, only to find the door to the cargo area suspiciously unlocked. Before him was a massive cage filled with what must have been dozens of Yooyus, their eyes pleading. But notably, all of the Yooyus were, curiously, Mutant Yooyus. He fumbled with the padlock holding the cage shut until he heard a noise behind him. The exit door was shut tight.

     "Really, and right when I was about to leave? You really do have the worst timing."

     News-A-Roo turned around to see a blue Wocky standing there. It was a sunglasses-clad face that he hadn't seen in decades.

     "These guys fetch quite the pretty Neopoint, you know. Out of all the Yooyus in Neopia, it's the Mutant ones that fetch the highest price. I can't believe I used to smuggle Golden Juppies while ignoring such a lucrative venture."

     "After all these years, you still can't manage to get by without exploiting others, can you?" News-A-Roo shot back. "The Mystery Islanders, the Mutant Yooyus, and who knows who else, all just pawns in your schemes."

     "And yet here you are, throwing my kindness toward you back in my face," Mulvinn said. "For the small price of your professional standing, I allowed you to keep on living to find a new purpose. It's such a pity how things turned out."

     "That's low even for you," said News-A-Roo.

     "You're old news. And you know what happens to old news, right? It inevitably ends up forgotten. You just couldn't leave well enough alone, getting the occasional small-time gig covering the Daily Dare. Maybe you could've even worked yourself up to the Faerie Festival one year! Oh, what could've been."

     Mulvinn adjusted his leather jacket and produced a Super Attack Pea from the pocket.

     "Funny thing about fossils like you," he continued. "You don't realise how fast word travels anymore. The Lip told me everything. The entire room was tapped, and I can't help but notice you're short an accomplice."

     "You leave him out of this; he was a tourist. Hired muscle at most. He has no part in this."

     "You really want me to believe that, huh? Well, lucky for you I'm feeling generous today. We're about to sail off anyway, so I can't afford to wait for your friend. And once we're on the water, well...I'm thinking maybe you'll be able to report on Maraqua once more, if you catch my drift."

     "You know, when you ran me out of the business, I thought my life was over. For years on end I coasted by, just wondering when the wick would run its course. But through every hit to my reputation, every knock to my ego, every blow to my self-esteem, one thought kept me going above all else. Do you want to know what it was?"

     Mulvinn rolled his eyes. "Yeah, go ahead. Last words, and all that."

     "It was the thought of seeing this look on your face," News-A-Roo said, pulling out a microphone.

     Suddenly, the reinforced door to the room was knocked in with one blow as water swirled around the trident that did it in. Wielding it was none other than Marak, the Wave.

     "Mulvinn the Wocky, you stand accused of trespassing on sacred land, poaching a protected species, and Petpet smuggling with intent to sell," the Peophin Protector of Altador's Sea declared.

     Jacob followed in behind him alongside a small news crew carrying cameras. He gave a thumbs up to News-A-Roo.

     Altador Cup broadcasts around Neopia were then briefly interrupted with a bulletin, and on those screens was none other than News-A-Roo.

     "Good evening, Neopia. This is News-A-Roo, reporting live at the scene of a now-busted smuggling operation. Known criminal and smuggler Mulvinn the Wocky is accused of illegally poaching and trafficking dozens of Mutant Yooyus from the Isle of Yooyu, hoping to use the excitement of the Altador Cup to hide his crimes from the masses until it was too late. Mulvinn, what would you like to say to the Neopian public?" News-A-Roo said, smugly putting the microphone up to Mulvinn's face as Marak was apprehending him.

     The Wocky gave a death glare to the Blumaroo. "I'll be out within a week, tops!"

     "To the folks at home, please be aware that, going by precedent, Mulvinn is statistically likely to stay imprisoned for a much longer time here than he would be elsewhere. The Yooyus are a protected species in Altador, and the Mutant Yooyus even more so, so this is no joke," said News-A-Roo. "This has been a special news bulletin. News-A-Roo, signing off."

     Marak took both Mulvinn and, later, Jo Jo the Lip into custody. Of them, the latter was likely to get let off easier, as Marak's mere presence added enough water in the air to take out the betting machine. And of course, the Mutant Yooyus were brought back to their Isle.

     Jacob and Stealth managed to catch a different late-in-the-day Yooyuball game, now alongside News-A-Roo, whom they treated to refreshments. Jacob finally got to use his extra hands invention for its true purpose: holding everyone's drinks for them.

     "Aaaaaaand it's over, folks! In a true buzzer beater, Moltara has beaten Faerieland with a last-second goal by Vere Polnicek!" announced Tobias Sigmir. "We now go to Hovri Sweet for the post-game analysis."

     Cheers erupted in the crowd, with Jacob and Stealth being among the loudest of them. This win secured Moltara a placement that wasn't dead last.

     News-A-Roo smiled as he looked at his complimentary brochure: Neopia Central had an Altador Cup team now after more than twenty years. He laughed. Had he been told that at any point in the past two decades, he'd think it was impossible. But better things being possible prevailed as true in the end. Apropos, he thought.

     The End.