| The most fantastic thing in the universe! |
Circulation: 193,626,794 |
Issue: 703 | 16th day of Collecting, Y17 |
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New Series
 | And Then There Was Silence: Part One"Though he couldn't turn from the light, the loss of his love broke him. His heart grew cold and he learned the arts of death. When he was encountered again, he had changed from a warm person into a ruthless assassin." -Unknown author, The Nameless Assassin, text found in the Rathbone Family Crypts, circa Y7
by theschizophrenicpunk |
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Headlines
"You Had One Job" by quanticdreams
Jhudora? Jhudora, I am here. I am speaking directly into your left ear, and you do not notice. I should tell you these things in a perceivable form, but I imagine you would be very upset to find I have been living in your house. I remain in the shadows. That’s the name the flesh have given me. The Shadow Usul, they whisper. They are wrong, but I do not object. But this isn’t about me. This is about you.
Listen, Jhudora, do you really want to live your life like this? Stumbling through a hazy stupor and over hoards and hoards of useless junk? Sometimes, as I lurk in the back of your closet, your tacky, fake fingernails almost brush my fur as you reach for one of those identical gowns on your way to return to a dead-end life.
Do you know how many bugs live in your house, Jhudora? I do. I gave every one a name, and I tell them where to lay their eggs. So do not get on my bad side, because my fury is vast and dark and expressed in a smashed dresser in your pile of junk in the woods! You’ll never find it, though. You never go back there, not all the way.
I can’t find a pattern to anything in that stupid pile. Overturned smoothies, moth-eaten plushies. It’s a mess back here. Some places I can’t even go in because of the stench. I don’t even have a nose. How did you do that? You had one job! You somehow managed to screw it up!
Other Stories
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 Eternal Diva
It was night on the Tyrannia Plateau and even from miles away you could hear the noise from fans at the concert hall, screaming for their favourite bands and song artists. And in one of the dressing rooms, a striped Hissi with blond hair was getting ready for her own performance. Her name was Faith Handler, but her stage name was Whispered Faith.
by orisasda |
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 I'm Going To Make Things Right
I stood in the doorway of my safety deposit box. Clutter filled every inch, items ranging from old Neggs to 500,000 Neopoint scrolls saved from my earlier years. My Neopets stood silently in the doorway, taking in the mess. “AAAA-CHOO!”
by jrayeb3 |
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 Five Avatar Collecting Pitfalls
In this article, I will take you through the five most common problems I have seen collectors face—problems that I have run into multiple times along my journey, and that I continue to face. For each problem, I will offer a solution that I have found to be consistently successful. If you keep these points in mind, you too can achieve the Avatar Collector Avatar!
by gumgum101230 |
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 Pyramid Scheme: A Guide to the Card Game
You have been travelling for days without water, with the sun beating down on your weary skin. You’ve already swatted the bugs away in Swarm, dragged your opponents across the ground Tug of War and in the distance you can finally see your destination ahead of you. A great golden pyramid rises up before your eyes… Alternatively, you typed ‘Pyramids’ in the games room search bar, either way – you made it here, and now you’re ready and raring to win yourself that golden trophy!
by luv4free |
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