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Zombie Neopets: An Anatomical Debate

by waaurufu


     They say you only have one chance at life, but that’s not always the case. Those who are lucky- or depending on your view, unlucky- enough to be raised from the grave have come to be known as zombie pets. Be it from potions, paint brush or lab experiment gone wrong, these shambling friends can provide some unique and interesting insight on the life cycle of a Neopet, and how death is sometimes merely a road bump along our journeys.

     And here to elaborate on this as our spokesperson for the zombie-kind is my very own zombie Korbat, Stellarlunas! Introduce yourself, please.

     Lunas: How do you do, everyone? I’m Stellarlunas, or simply Lunas for short. Oh, I’m so very delighted! Will this edition of the Times be printed in the Neovian Printing Press? I could be famous! You won’t be doing anything that could tarnish my reputation, will you?

     Not at all, we’re going to be looking at living Korbats versus zombie ones, nothing more and nothing less. Mostly.

     Lunas: Well, if you say so, I’m putting my trust in you! My Neovian status is on the line, here!

     A Pale Complexion

     Let’s start with the first and easiest thing to recognize, the pale flesh of a zombie! Normally Korbats have a soft white coat of fur that covers their bodies, and leathery wings that allow them to fly silently in the night, but when zombified, this fur turns a sickly light green due to lack of an immune system, as well as growing splotches of… what ARE those splotches, Lunas?

     Lunas: My word, it’s uncouth to ask a lady about her… skin splotches! Hmph.

     Okay, geez, sorry, I’m just trying to be thorough here… In addition it seems the leathery wings have atrophied some, both turning an unsettling grey and ripping slightly in places. I’d ask if that hurts, but I don’t think you can feel pain anymore.

     Lunas: Not physical pain, no, but your cutting words about my hygiene hurt my heart! Someone fetch me a fainting chair!

     …Why are all of my pets like this?

     A Stitchy Situation

     I want to mention in a section all its own, a strange phenomenon among zombie pets, notably that many have had body parts either seemingly re-attached or stitched in place to keep them from falling off. This intrigues me as it implies there is some sort of upkeep to being a zombie, and people who have the skill to perform such a procedure. Lunas, aren’t you from the Meepits Oak Sanitorium? Can you shed some light on this?

     Lunas: Why of course dear! In fact it’s not as absurd not as puzzling as you may think. Any doctor or surgeon worth their salt can use a needle, can’t they? That’s all there is to it, whether the patient is living or otherwise.

     I guess you have a good point there. …Hah! Point, get it, we’re talking about needles?

     Lunas: Really, I expect puns of such low taste to come from Steve, not you.

     Sorry. Though I have to ask, what do you do when there isn’t a doctor around and your limbs need, how do you put it, “maintenance?”

     Lunas: Well a sewing needle and thread does work in a pinch, I will admit. In fact I keep some in my dress just in case. Isn’t it delightful to not experience pain?

     I wouldn’t know…

     A Face Only a Mummy Could Love

     Let’s continue on to the facial structure of a zombie Korbat. Instead of the normal beady eyes, zombie Korbats have milky white and glossed over eyes that appear to hardly be capable of functioning. This makes me wonder something, are you blind, Lunas?

     Lunas: A lady can’t reveal all of her secrets, now can she?

     You are suspiciously dodging the question.

     Lunas: And you are perpetuating stereotypes about Korbats, we are not all blind!

     So you’re NOT blind?

     Lunas: I would like to go on to the next subject.

     Hmm… very well. That’s not the only interesting thing of note on a zombie Korbat’s face, their lips have shriveled some, no doubt due to the lack of circulation in a body that can no longer properly function. Though your fangs seem to be perfectly and mysteriously intact, as if it would be perfect to consume a certain and specific food source of the zombie. Say Lunas… you don’t crave after, you know…

     Lunas: My word, do you hear what you are suggesting?! I am a lady of refined tastes! I drink tea and delight myself with Neovian crumpets! To think you would even consider the notion of me eating- BRAAAAAAINS…

     THERE! You said it!

     Lunas: Said what?

     Brains! You said brains!

     Lunas: Preposterous, I did no such thing.

     But- You- I-

     Lunas: Now now, do not stutter, it’s unbefitting a lady!

     You scare me sometimes, Lunas.

     Final Thoughts

     Zombie Neopets are a fascinating and strange subset of pets that seem to thrive despite all odds, or if not thrive, at the very least endure. Many questions can still be asked despite our best efforts at observation. What revives a Neopet from beyond the grave? What keeps their body going? Is it a curse, a spell, sheer willpower? Or maybe even something completely new that no one has an explanation for yet? Maybe every zombie is different and unique in this aspect. I know Lunas behaves very different from how I expected a zombie Neopet to act.

     Lunas: I do not know whether to be flatter or insulted. I shall be… flat-sulted.

     Well one thing to take away from all of this is that though zombie Neopets can be frightening and hard to understand, many of them are harmless citizens of Neopia, just wishing for a home and their own way in life, or I suppose un-life. And unless a zombie is actively chasing after you for your juicy brains, we should be accepting of our spooky, but friendly neighbors. Thank you for joining me for this anatomical debate, and thank you for your participation, Lunas.

     Lunas: It was my pleasure, dear! Ohh, especially if I get some admirers in Neovia! Take that Lily, I’m the Neopian Times and you’re NOT! HAH! …Ahem, excuse me.

     …For the sake of my brains, I’ll leave some things, a mystery.


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