Feeding Famished Florg Fanatically
Feepits! I feel funny fabricating fables featuring Florg, the famished fickle feaster. Frankly, Feeding Florg falls firmly as my favorite feel-good fun! Alas, I cannot keep this alliteration afloat, so onto the guide ye feeders seek! Also, I’m pretty sure I’ve insulted the Feepits by featuring them in this article, so I expect to be attacked by a herd of them as I stroll around Neopia.
Feed Florg is a game featuring, well, Florg. Who is Florg, you might ask? I would reckon to call him a cheerful Chia afflicted with mutant capabilities. He, on the other hand, may call himself a voracious creature with an unrelenting appetite for petpets. However, he will only feast on Spyders, Warfs, Kookiths, Tennas, Slorgs, and Hassees. Phew! My Symol and Faellie are safe! Your job is to be the righthand man of Florg by playing a mysterious hand who fills the never-ending pit that is the stomach of poor Florg. Many people may question my sympathies for poor Florg. Poor, you may ask? Why, he’s eating petpets! One cannot deny their favorite foods. I, for one, once travelled to Neopian Fresh Foods where I picked up Chewed Gum Ice Cream Cone. I was told that it was chewed by the chef, who I later saw eating Ant Covered Ham. Needless to say, it’s now my favorite food! The best part of Neopia is the diversity in food items, and Florg is a pretty gruesome Chia who needs more than a faerie snack cake as sustenance. If the task of leading some petpets to their untimely vacation in the stomach of Florg is too much for you to handle, this is my warning to turn back now.
Your job is to guide the petpets on the table into the mouth of Florg. They are dropped onto a table and hop around until you gently guide them into the direction of Florg, who cries in the corner. When it is time to eat, Florg will stick out his tongue and lasso a petpet into his mouth. Sometimes Florg needs a break, but the petpets do not stop appearing. It is your job to corral them appropriately until the next time that Florg is hungry again. Some consolation is the background music is lovely and upbeat as you aid Florg in his scrumptious petpet feast.
You move your mysterious hand either through the use of the arrow keys or the mouse. Personally, I prefer the use of the arrow keys as I get too excited sometimes and the mouse goes flying out of my hand. Be aware that you only have 5 lives in this game, and you lose a life every time a petpet falls off the table and is otherwise uneaten. Do not let the irony of saving a petpets’ life equaling losing a life in the game get the best of you. Some petpets will move slower, while others will move faster. You will need to gauge the speed when deciding where to move your hand. Even though Florg should eat the petpet that has been on the table the longest, this is not always the case. Florg is picky and even though he loves to eat petpets, just as you may sometimes prefer an ice cold Neocola and not an Acara Blueberry Muffin, Florg is the same way. This means that a petpet may fall onto the table and be immediately eaten, so do not plan too far ahead with any one petpet. Another tip is when you are trying to corral the petpets, try to send them in the same direction. That way, you will not need to move your hand all over the place to push the petpets back towards Florg. Sometimes, depending on how close together the petpets are, you may be able to push both at the same time without moving your mouse or mashing the arrow key. Because the petpets move unpredictably at times, however, you must be confident in your decision when picking between two petpets to swat. One petpet might be taking its sweet time to get to the edge, while another one scurries with the urgency of a thousand Feepits. There is no blanket solution on how to handle a dilemma between two petpets. You must observe the rest of your game board and see which one can be sacrificed without any expense to your other petpets. Do not take too much time to decide, though! If you cannot decide between two petpets to push with your hand, you may wind up losing them both. Of course, if you are purely evil and wish to embark on a petpet saving expedition, you can very quickly save 5 petpets but will wind up losing your game in about 10 seconds. As you are now coming to the end of my guide, I imagine this is not in your interest!
My one final tip before I sign off: if all else fails in your game and Florg is uncooperative, try to talk to him and reason with him. Many Neopians write him off or are terrified of talking to him because of his gruesome appearance, but he is the nicest Chia. Also, and you didn’t hear this from me, it would probably help things along if you could bring some petpets for him to play with. Most Neopians do not know, but Florg actually enjoys playing Extreme Herder with them when Balthazar is not around. He has personally told me that he definitely does not eat any of the petpets involved in that game, and I believe him, of course. What’s not to trust?
On that note, I am out to meet Florg at the petpet shop! Sounds like he is finally ready to pick out his own petpet. We still haven’t discussed whether he’s going to eat it or not, but I’m trying to remain optimistic.
P.S. You also did not hear this from me, but I heard that the avatar collectors among us might uncover a very secret avatar if they play their cards right.